EverCrest Message Forums
You are not logged in. Login or Register.
Author
Topic: Internet Socializing
Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 12:33:18 AM
I realize the thread title's a bit of an oxymoron but I ask that you bear with me. I've been the next thing to anti-social for years and it's finally starting to wear on me; being unemployed at the moment, changing my social situation is going to be difficult at best but I'd like start somewhere, even if it's not a perfect start. Right now, what I have is a lot of time and the internet. Do any of you know of a particularly good site or internet community for "meeting" people and sharing ideas?

Dating sites are generally in the right vein but a) cost money for any worth the effort and b) tend to produce poor results from what I've found. That said, which of those is worth it these days? While I'm mostly interested in some kind of singles forum or something else along those lines, I think I'm willing to give just about anything a go at this point. I'm tired of having all of three friends who I'm not all that close to and I don't think my social skills are going to improve playing WAR or just hanging around the same three people.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Alidane
Urinary Tract Infection
posted 11-15-2008 01:10:27 AM
You're doing it wrong.
Zair
The Imp
posted 11-15-2008 01:14:07 AM
Are you looking for a girlfriend specifically or any friends at all.

Your post is confusing.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 01:51:24 AM
quote:
Zair had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
Are you looking for a girlfriend specifically or any friends at all.

Your post is confusing.


I think my post is confusing because I, myself, am lost. Being as I'm looking for part time work while I pursue certifications that will increase my marketability, I'm lacking wherewithal and, before even that, I'm lacking in social experience. In addition, I'm not in the greatest of states psychologically; depression and what I will venture a guess is one part social anxiety and one part a generally anti-social nature makes things difficult.

A girlfriend is what I want; what I need and what I should pursue right now are probably in much different areas. Friends in general are what I think should be the higher priority since making new acquaintances and transitioning some of those to greater levels of intimacy (socially, not physically) is more apt to put me through the kind of social experience I need. The problem there is that I really don't know how to meet new people or where to find the sort of people I'd like to socialize with.

Topping that off is the fact that I'm unemployed and in the midst of certification training to get a real job, which means my financial wherewithal is basically nonexistent. This leaves me, essentially, with my computer, the people I know from training (who I seem to fit in poorly with), and three friends I have as is (with whom I may actually converse with once or twice in a good month). All things considered, I figured the internet is probably going to be the best of a poor lot of options. There again I am stymied by not knowing where to begin.

quote:
Alidane was listening to Cher while typing:
You're doing it wrong.

I'm quite well aware of this, thanks. That is, in fact, my primary motivation for asking here. I know what I'm asking about isn't a great start but I don't have a whole lot of choices.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Greenlit
posted 11-15-2008 01:53:33 AM
Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
Kinanik
Upset about being titless
posted 11-15-2008 02:08:55 AM
http://www.meetup.com/

This is a site that has local groups, things like bookclubs and other groups with a common interest, and I could see this being a perfect way to start socializing. You shouldn't try and just jump into a relationship with someone you meet online, as you should establish your social life before diving into a love life. These are great because at the very least when you go to a meeting of these groups you will be certain about at least one line of conversation.

Gully Foyle is my name
And Terra is my nation
Deep space is my dwelling place
The stars my destination
Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 02:14:13 AM
quote:
From the book of Greenlit, chapter 3, verse 16:
Yeah, you're doing it wrong.

I genuinely do not understand this kind of post. If I've pointed out twice that I'm aware of this fact, I don't have the resources to "do it right", and that I don't even really know how to "do it right" I cannot fathom why you'd bother. What, precisely, is "doing it right"? The most I've ever gotten from anyone related to going out to bars or clubs...places where I'm not comfortable and that don't have activities that would appeal to me or the kind of people I'd be interested in meeting.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 02:20:53 AM
quote:
Kinanik had this to say about Pirotess:
http://www.meetup.com/

This is a site that has local groups, things like bookclubs and other groups with a common interest, and I could see this being a perfect way to start socializing. You shouldn't try and just jump into a relationship with someone you meet online, as you should establish your social life before diving into a love life. These are great because at the very least when you go to a meeting of these groups you will be certain about at least one line of conversation.


An interesting site and has some potential for use. Thanks for posting this.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

nem-x
posted 11-15-2008 03:53:54 AM
would you like to meet my 2-d waifu
nem-x
posted 11-15-2008 03:56:43 AM
quote:
A sleep deprived Kinanik stammered:
http://www.meetup.com/

ha haaaa

Theres only one group near me:

This meet-up is not just for witches but for anyone who falls under the "pagan" title (anything that is not of the Judaism-Christian religions) and for anyone who is wanting to learn more about paganism. The only requirements we have is that you have an open mind and will treat everyone with respect. This group is very new and so suggestions are always welcome as well as constructive criticism

Past Meetups:
Lammas - 1 attended
Come celebrate Lammas with us! There will be a potluck so bring food, drinks, utensils, etc.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 11-15-2008 07:19:56 AM
Play Second Life, it's where all the girls on the internet go. Why the hell else do you think I play it?

Phone sex with a different girl in the US each night. Accents are my thing. Oh yeeeeeah.

nem-x
posted 11-15-2008 07:21:09 AM
Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 11-15-2008 07:47:01 AM
quote:
nem-x said:
thats just pathetic

Webcam sex with them is also quite fun. There are two types of girls in Second Life, the first being ugly geeks who are colder than an antartic refridgerator, the second being extremely hot geeks who are sexually open and will do anything for anyone. I fool about with the latter.

My cock -is- gigantic, but it doesn't quite reach over the Atlantic yet.

nem-x
posted 11-15-2008 07:49:44 AM
Bricktop
Old and Gay
posted 11-15-2008 07:54:06 AM
quote:
Mortious was listening to Cher while typing:
Webcam sex with them is also quite fun. There are two types of girls in Second Life, the first being ugly geeks who are colder than an antartic refridgerator, the second being extremely hot geeks who are sexually open and will do anything for anyone. I fool about with the latter.

My cock -is- gigantic, but it doesn't quite reach over the Atlantic yet.


Personally I just go get some real pussy.

A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.
Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 11-15-2008 07:57:10 AM
quote:
Bricktop said:
Personally I just go get some real pussy.

You and me both.

Online sex is the vitamin supplement to be taken alongside the main meal.

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 11-15-2008 08:47:47 AM
I just bang my wife.
Azakias
Never wore the pants, thus still wields the power of unused (_|_)
posted 11-15-2008 09:17:40 AM
To be truthful, if you are looking for a foundation for a social life, it is probably best if you leave the internet out of it. Making friends on the internet is all well and good. That's what the internet is there for, aside from transfer of informations. But if that is your only social outlet it is somewhat of a self destructive spiral, from my experience.

My advice would be to find something that you enjoy/are/[assionate about/is legal, and try to find where like minded people might hang out. For me, I started going down to a local gaming shop a few days a week, and now I'm going to a Krav Maga studio. Forcing yourself to go in the first place is the hard part, but after the first few times, you tend to start loosening up and it doesnt feel so awkward.

Not trying to knock online friendships as I have quite a few, but the offline, real life, flesh and blood people you can actually touch and speak with face to face feel more solid. These are the people who you can just call up to hang out, instead of waiting for a screen name to go live on some instant messenger.

I hope I explained that alright. I'm still under the effects of a brutal muscle relaxer.

"Age by age have men stood up and said to the world, 'From what has come before me, I was forged, but I am new and greater than my forebears.' And so each man walks the world in ruin, abandoned and untried. Less than the whole of his being"
nem-x
posted 11-15-2008 09:45:14 AM
quote:
Azakias obviously shouldn't have said:
I'm still under the effects of a brutal muscle relaxer.

Number 1 Poster
posted 11-15-2008 09:46:30 AM
wait what?
Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 12:33:43 PM
quote:
Azakias attempted to be funny by writing:
To be truthful, if you are looking for a foundation for a social life, it is probably best if you leave the internet out of it. Making friends on the internet is all well and good. That's what the internet is there for, aside from transfer of informations. But if that is your only social outlet it is somewhat of a self destructive spiral, from my experience.

My advice would be to find something that you enjoy/are/[assionate about/is legal, and try to find where like minded people might hang out. For me, I started going down to a local gaming shop a few days a week, and now I'm going to a Krav Maga studio. Forcing yourself to go in the first place is the hard part, but after the first few times, you tend to start loosening up and it doesnt feel so awkward.

Not trying to knock online friendships as I have quite a few, but the offline, real life, flesh and blood people you can actually touch and speak with face to face feel more solid. These are the people who you can just call up to hang out, instead of waiting for a screen name to go live on some instant messenger.

I hope I explained that alright. I'm still under the effects of a brutal muscle relaxer.


This is what I'd prefer to do be doing and what I don't presently have the financial wherewithal to do. The site Kinanik linked actually looks like a great springboard for that kind of activity; there are a lot of groups in my area and diverse area of interests represented among them. It'll be great once I actually have some money to work with.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Vernaltemptress
Withered and Alone
posted 11-15-2008 03:49:08 PM
What does money have to do with walking out of the house and meeting people? If you are that short of money, then start taking a walk through the neighborhood every day at the same time. Talk to people who are also walking. Make it known you are looking for work. In a tight job market, the best way to find a job is to tell people you are looking for work and tell them what you can offer (what your strengths are).
Obamanomics: spend, tax, and borrow.
Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 11-15-2008 05:02:51 PM
You don't have to have money to hang out at a local gaming store. Sure, you can spend hundreds to play warhammer, but there are typically other games too. You can casually play MTG with a 10 dollar deck, you can bring in a chess board you have sitting around and try to get people to play, anything like that. The goal isn't to go there and be a gamer extreme, but to go and hang out with people/talk with people. And on the occasions you have extra spending cash, grab a bit of stuff and support the store.

I know people at my local gaming store back in NC that spend maybe 10 bucks every month at most. But they're pretty cool to chill out with. Do you have any D&D books, maybe? Go there and start a D&D campaign, or join in one. Costs you nothing whatsoever. I mean, do you still play WoW, Warhammer, or both? If so, drop those -- if the financial situation is as bad as you say it is, then that 30 bucks a month can really help out.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 05:14:51 PM
quote:
So quoth Vernaltemptress:
What does money have to do with walking out of the house and meeting people? If you are that short of money, then start taking a walk through the neighborhood every day at the same time. Talk to people who are also walking. Make it known you are looking for work. In a tight job market, the best way to find a job is to tell people you are looking for work and tell them what you can offer (what your strengths are).

This idea is kind of a foreign concept where I live. I'm not sure about other parts of California but, where I live, people treat that kind of activity as something done for a trigger happy lark, not normal social activity. I live in a not-so-great area; it's not the hood but people aren't friendly here. Money is required to go someplace where this would be an effective idea; the beach, downtown, Old Town, and various other places starting 15 or so minutes west of me (following the freeways rather than as the crow flies) are common places where people gather specifically to socialize.

I'm not looking to socialize to find a job, I've got a very lucrative resource in hand at the school I'm going to to get my tech certs; they do job placement and offer assistance with resumes and interviewing skills. What I'm asking for in this thread are internet springboards for these activities; starting points where I can check places to go and people to inquire with when I can afford to actually pursue a social life. In all honesty, I want to get away from the area I live in and do something away from home but, right now, I haven't got the money so I'm relegated to researching what to do when I do have the money.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 05:18:55 PM
quote:
Falaanla Marr impressed everyone with:
You don't have to have money to hang out at a local gaming store. Sure, you can spend hundreds to play warhammer, but there are typically other games too. You can casually play MTG with a 10 dollar deck, you can bring in a chess board you have sitting around and try to get people to play, anything like that. The goal isn't to go there and be a gamer extreme, but to go and hang out with people/talk with people. And on the occasions you have extra spending cash, grab a bit of stuff and support the store.

I know people at my local gaming store back in NC that spend maybe 10 bucks every month at most. But they're pretty cool to chill out with. Do you have any D&D books, maybe? Go there and start a D&D campaign, or join in one. Costs you nothing whatsoever. I mean, do you still play WoW, Warhammer, or both? If so, drop those -- if the financial situation is as bad as you say it is, then that 30 bucks a month can really help out.


The nearest FLGS is on the other side of the county, 30 to 45 minutes away. It's not a trip I can make regularly (the gas cost is prohibitive as my car is terrible on fuel economy) and I've looked for alternatives closer to home; the only result any closer was some Warhammer group in my town that didn't respond to emails (their preferred method of contact). WAR is getting closer and closer to being canceled because of boredom as much as the cost.

Damnati fucked around with this message on 11-15-2008 at 05:19 PM.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 11-15-2008 05:20:43 PM
Do you live in a big town? By chance, anywhere near a college campus? Can often find gamers there. Otherwise, you may have to plan for a trip or two to the gamestore, or maybe you can call them and see if they have a postings board for game openings. If there is an opening or two, you can plan one night a week to head out there, maybe?
Kinanik
Upset about being titless
posted 11-15-2008 05:20:59 PM
quote:
Check out the big brain on Damnati!
This is what I'd prefer to do be doing and what I don't presently have the financial wherewithal to do. The site Kinanik linked actually looks like a great springboard for that kind of activity; there are a lot of groups in my area and diverse area of interests represented among them. It'll be great once I actually have some money to work with.

Yeah, the good thing about meetup is that you're actually going out and meeting people. The online component is secondary.

The downside is that 40% of Meetups are Goths, and the other 40% are Ron Paulites. But depending on your area, there should be some decent things, and most of them are going to be really cheap (you might have to get a book for bookclub, but you won't have to be spending money on drinks, etc).

Gully Foyle is my name
And Terra is my nation
Deep space is my dwelling place
The stars my destination
Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 05:38:12 PM
quote:
Falaanla Marr got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
Do you live in a big town? By chance, anywhere near a college campus? Can often find gamers there. Otherwise, you may have to plan for a trip or two to the gamestore, or maybe you can call them and see if they have a postings board for game openings. If there is an opening or two, you can plan one night a week to head out there, maybe?

The FLGS is out of the question as every trip there runs 10 to 15 bucks in gas round trip. The suburb I live in is one of the last three cities in east San Diego county before the concrete gives way to open spaces; the nearest college campus that has real diversity of interests is SDSU. It's known for being a party school and there certainly are dozens of opportunities to socialize there if getting intoxicated in any number of ways is your thing; I'm not sure about their gaming community but RPGs and other such social games seem to be out of favor in this county.

There are all of two gaming stores in the county that cater to those interests and both are equidistant from where I live. Game Towne, as far as I'm aware, doesn't offer game hosting, they just sell a good variety of traditional gaming material. Game Empire is populated by the same people you find on 4chan's traditional games board so I'm not sure how much time I want to invest there. There are some good, helpful people there in terms of learning to paint models and play the games but I'm skeptical about the place as a social outlet.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Zair
The Imp
posted 11-15-2008 05:57:10 PM
So, what kind of hobbies do you have that you could do with other people?

Just gaming?
Do you like to do anything outdoors? That meetup site seemed to have hiking groups and stuff (depending on locale).

Zair
The Imp
posted 11-15-2008 06:00:50 PM
Also, think of volunteering for something/anything.

Best case scenario: you meet friendly people. You maybe become friends, but at minimal you are socializing while volunteering.

Worst case scenario: You meet no one you like, but you spent a few hours helping your community.

Zair fucked around with this message on 11-15-2008 at 06:01 PM.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 11-15-2008 06:15:35 PM
Actually, one of the neater groups I ran across on meetup was one dedicated to photography. One of the things I really want to do once I've got some money is a decent DSLR and learn to take nice pictures with it. Another thing I'd like to look into is learning the guitar; there's probably a group for that too. I'm actually going to check and see if the photography might have some people who have an extra camera or some other means of sharing the experience with newcomers.

All in all, I'm still going to run into the money issue no matter what I try to do but, at the very least, I'd like to find some leads. Meetup seems like a good start thus far.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 11-15-2008 10:17:19 PM
I found a group who likes to trawl the incredibly posh and expensive tea rooms in York, dressed in their finest.

Pip pip tally ho, where's my monocle.

See, it's pretty easy to find any group who does anything you want. You just have to look hard enough.

Mortious fucked around with this message on 11-15-2008 at 10:18 PM.

Addy
posted 11-16-2008 03:32:39 AM
Volunteering is a really good answer actually. Meet interesting people, help the community, and you have something to put on your resume to make yourself look better (potentially).
Greenlit
posted 11-16-2008 03:42:18 AM
Donate plasma.
Nina
posted 11-16-2008 04:02:42 AM
Donate a lung. Preferrably two.
very important poster
a sweet title
posted 11-16-2008 05:33:42 PM
yo any bitches wanna hook up w/ me send me a PM
hey
nem-x
posted 11-16-2008 05:34:15 PM
quote:
Nobody really understood why MC Jensizzle wrote:
yo any bitches wanna hook up w/ me send me a PM

very important poster
a sweet title
posted 11-16-2008 05:34:48 PM
no trannies no fatties no not believing in yourself
hey
very important poster
a sweet title
posted 11-16-2008 05:35:35 PM
no grannies either old people are gross
hey
Vallo, the Second Coming
Pancake
posted 11-16-2008 07:20:07 PM
Try getting a job instead of internet butt buddies.

Vallo, the Second Coming fucked around with this message on 11-16-2008 at 07:20 PM.

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special."
All times are US/Eastern
Hop To: