A Tale of Kait the Socially Awkward - EverCrest Message Forums

Author

Topic: A Tale of Kait the Socially Awkward

Dr. Gee

Say it Loud, Say it Plowed!

posted 08-14-2007 11:26:08 PM

This story occurred more than a year before the Trial of Terror began when Kait moved into a room I was renting out. As I don't want to right a three page story I'll stick to just the events of this night. This is also going to fit two different catagories I gave Parce: Kait bitching about me and Kait meeting people.

Kait had never been to a concert before. I think I had known her about a year now, and I was still in stage two of Kaititis. This is the ;attempting to fix her; stage. I knew that she made twelve year old boy nerds who weighed three hundred pounds and had faces like a pestilent goat ass seem outright James Bond-like in social ability, but there was still the smallest grain of hope in my mind that this was someone who could be saved.

So my friend Devin's band was playing. This incarnation of the band sucked a lot more than the current one, but like all local bands still had a rabid following consisting entirely of people they knew in high school. They were at Soma, the only all ages venue in San Diego that sat less than twenty thousand. Afterwards there was plans of a party with one of the other bands that was playing there that night. So this would even be a night of two firsts for Kait: live concert and alcohol. I figured it would be a pretty easy entry into the wider world of human interaction, because if she pissed anyone off it's not like she'd have to talk to any of them again.

Things went pretty well during the first half of the night. We pretty much just hung out to the side in the lobby sticking to ourselves. The fun began after my friend's band was done playing and we were waiting behind the building to hear what's going on with the party while they were packing up instrument and all the other shit. I vaguely remembered the people who were back there from middle school and since I had changed schools about four years ago I didn't really know anyone and just chilled quietly until the packing was done. Kait was doing the same, but I was able to tell that something was wrong. She seemed to be getting more and more jittery about not being the absolute center of attention. This is pretty common with people in the eighteen to twenty range, but most know how to deal with it by chatting with strangers looking around for friends to talk to.

Kait didn't work like this. Her solution was to say, very loudly and very clearly, "I LIKE SKIRTS!"

All conversation died like a whelk in a supernova. If you've ever seen a teen movie you know what it's like. All the different chat circles just turn towards the offender, stare in utter silence for about five to ten seconds, and then turn back and start talking to each other again. Usually in mid-sentence and with an eye roll thrown into the mix.

I'm pretty sure that my jaw was literally hanging open. I was stunned. At this stage in knowing Kait I still wasn't really aware of how absolutely fucked up her mental processes were. I mean, I knew, but it hadn't yet sunk deep enough to really understand the scope of it. The fact that someone would say something that stupid and loudly to so many people who they had never seen before blew my fucking mind. It's the kind of thing a five year old would do.

After making her bold declaration I think she got the point and just quietly stood there looking at her feet until I got directions from my friend and we rolled out to the party.

I feel almost bad for what happened, since it was her first time drinking and I pretty much spent the time in the garage where the person-to-square-footage ratio was a bit better and it wasn't quite a hundred degrees. Then I realize that nothing really bad happened, so it's just kinda sad. I guess over the course of two hours Kait had something like five beers. While this wouldn't be a big deal to most of us, she was and still is pretty skinny and had never had a sip of alcohol in her life. Over the course of those hours I occasionally saw people come in with the wide-eyed look I'd later come to associate with people having looked into the crazed darkness that was Kait's mind and realizing they would never be the same again. These people would all say to me, ;Dude. You're friend's.....weird.; and then wander off in a daze. Fortunately Devin's cousin had corralled her and managed to get past Stage One of Kaititis (stunned horror) and into stage two. She kept Kait occupied until she saw me and mentioned the amount of beer Kait had consumed and I figured it was time to go.

She convinced me that she could make the decent walk back to my car and only fell down two or three times. It was at this point that I was a little worried and felt pretty bad about not paying enough attention to mention that she should slow down on the drinking a bit. We made it to my car and then to my place where she was going to crash in the guest room since she was worried about getting the shit kicked out of her by her parents if she showed up drunk. We had just barely gotten in when she hurried off to the bathroom and started blowing chunks for all she was worth. I felt pretty bad about this and did the friendly thing of offering to get some water or whatever. She mumbled something, I asked what, and she told me to just go away, so I did. A little while later she heads into the guest room and passes out. As I hadn't had anything to drink I was still up for a bit and made sure she was doing alright before I went to bed.

I later hear from a mutual friend that she had been bitching up a storm about how much of an asshole I was for not leaving her alone while she was sicking up in my bathroom and for pestering her about making sure to drink a good bit of water before going to sleep. I guess that was my just reward for giving a shit about a friend.

Dr. Gee fucked around with this message on 08-14-2007 at 11:29 PM.