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Author
Topic: Things you can't do
Mr. Parcelan
posted 04-05-2006 01:56:45 AM
What are some things you just aren't good at?

I, for one, can't make a burrito. They fall apart all the time and taste like Mexican butthair.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-05-2006 03:13:17 AM
First of all, are you heating the tortillas properly? Also, what kind of taco seasoning are you using?
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Maradon!
posted 04-05-2006 03:14:56 AM
quote:
Over the mountain, in between the ups and downs, I ran into JooJooFlop who doth quote:
First of all, are you heating the tortillas properly? Also, what kind of taco seasoning are you using?

What does the seasoning have to do with structural integrity?

I can't kill warriors in PVP. Other people (only warriors) claim that I should be able to.

I even started a warrior in the hopes of learning their weaknesses, but at level 54 as an extremely poorly equipped MS warrior, I'm pretty certain I could kill me with ease, especially if I've got recklessness up.

Maradon! fucked around with this message on 04-05-2006 at 03:17 AM.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-05-2006 03:17:01 AM
quote:
Maradon! was naked while typing this:
What does the seasoning have to do with structural integrity?

Nothing. You may notice his troubles with homemade burritos are twofold. I was merely addressing the secondary issue.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Maradon!
posted 04-05-2006 03:18:24 AM
quote:
x--JooJooFlopO-('-'Q) :
Nothing. You may notice his troubles with homemade burritos are twofold. I was merely addressing the secondary issue.

Oh, I missed the mexican butthair issue.

Batty
Doesn't Like You. Specifically you.
posted 04-05-2006 03:24:13 AM
I can't spin my head around like in the Exorcist. This has caused me much sadness, as I always wanted to do that.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 04-05-2006 03:40:35 AM
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
First of all, are you heating the tortillas properly? Also, what kind of taco seasoning are you using?

Well, to a culinary elitist like yourself, this might sound like blasphemy, but I tried making one out of microwaved tortillas (fifteen seconds), then I fried up some pre-cooked fajita-seasoned chicken in a skillet, put in some nuked Spanish Rice (Uncle Ben's ready-rice) and slathered it with some cheap Jalepeno hotsauce.

It tasted vile, truly, and I think a lot of it had to do with the rice. I might have put too much chicken and rice in for one burrito to handle, at any rate.

Parce Looks Like Donkeylips
Tremendous Faggot
posted 04-05-2006 08:01:42 AM
Use more beans and cheaper tortillas.

Also, use this shit. It fucking rocks. It's not for the man who craves insane hotness, but it does have a pretty large wang. The beauty of it comes in its excellent flavor.

SeƱor Gains fucked around with this message on 04-05-2006 at 08:03 AM.

Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 04-05-2006 11:40:28 AM
The key to tortillas is to buy the huge ones and then steam them on a screen over hot water to make them pliable.
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Sean
posted 04-05-2006 12:08:07 PM
I cannot whistle nor snap my fingers. I am sorely lacking in the skills required to join a street gang.
A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 04-05-2006 12:13:26 PM
I'm not good at that whole "diplomacy" thing.
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-05-2006 12:14:10 PM
I can't wipe sitting down. I have to stand up, otherwise I make a huge, huge mess.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Sean
posted 04-05-2006 12:40:48 PM
quote:
Karnaj had this to say about (_|_):
I can't wipe sitting down. I have to stand up, otherwise I make a huge, huge mess.

I thought that was only obscenely fat guys who had to stand up.

Even I can sit down.

A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Led
*kaboom*
posted 04-05-2006 02:48:29 PM
I am incapable of describing people As in, if a police officer came up and told me to describe my squad leader, I would be unable to convey her appearance even though I see her almost every minute of every day I could sit down in front of you, and be unable to come up with any kind of description while staring you right in the face ;D

Beyond the simple things (black, cracker, short/long hair, etc) it is unpossible! ;x

I also am incapable of handling criticism. It may not faze me at the moment, but it will continue swimming around my brain until I end up having a nervous breakdown

Nor can I whistle. Air comes out, but no whistly goodness!

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 04-05-2006 03:06:53 PM
I have difficulties shutting off the longwinded "am I being penalized for length? better pad out the argument" side of my typing.

I also cannot have a panda in my back yard, according to the standards for panda care outlined by the government of the Peoples' Republic of China.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Mightion Defensor
posted 04-05-2006 03:46:15 PM
I have a job interview Friday, at an ISP that deals mainly with dialup (!) and a little bit of cable.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 04-05-2006 03:49:17 PM
quote:
The propaganda machine of Sean's junta released this statement:
I thought that was only obscenely fat guys who had to stand up.

Even I can sit down.


It's not a physical impossibility for me, I just can't get the same coordination or leverage or something. It's like having sex with Snoota for the first time: it's awkward, very little gets done, and in the end, there's shit everywhere.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Leftover Mog
No, the spelling errors are not intentional
posted 04-05-2006 04:05:25 PM
I cant whistle, Ive asked many poeple to teach me, to noa vail, fianlly somone told me like im hidously deformed and missing something i need to whistle

i want to whistle damnit!

I cant not procrastinate, i can make a damn good burito though ^____^

Won't you be my friend

"I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."
-- George Herbert Walker Bush

Maradon!
posted 04-05-2006 04:10:49 PM
Whistling really isn't hard. Just try making different sized O's with your lips and blowing through them, and you'll eventually hit the proper diameter. It helps to tuck the tip of your tongue behind your lower row of teeth, and the sides of your tongue along your upper rows of molars. Once you start whistling, you can control pitch by varying the height of the center of your tongue.

Of course, I whistle somewhat differently from everyone that I know, so I may not be the best source of advice.

`Doc
Cold in an Alley
posted 04-05-2006 04:38:43 PM
quote:
Ninety-nine bottles of Mightion Defensor on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of Mightion Defensor...
I have a job interview Friday, at an ISP that deals mainly with dialup (!) and a little bit of cable.
I can't congratulate you, because you posted this in a thread of things you can't do.

I can't remember names unless I can put them in a pattern. Place names are useless; I only remember the names and locations of four or five towns in my own county (out of somewhere between 40 and 60). My odds of remembering a person's name are about 1 in 10 during the first 5 minutes, and maybe 1 in 100 long term, even if I want to remember it at the time I hear it.

Base eight is just like base ten, really... if you're missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer
There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." - Mitch Hedberg
Please keep your arms, legs, heads, tails, tentacles, pseudopods, wings, and/or other limb-like structures inside the ride at all times.
Please submit all questions, inquests, and/or inquiries, in triplicate, to the Department of Redundancy Department, Division for the Management of Division Management Divisions.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-05-2006 05:07:20 PM
quote:
Bloodsage impressed everyone with:
The key to tortillas is to buy the huge ones and then steam them on a screen over hot water to make them pliable.

Moisture from steaming also coaxes gluten to the surface of the tortilla so it's adhesive to itself, allowing greater structural integrity once the burrito is wrapped. But if steaming isn't an option the microwave will do. Wiping it with a wet paper towel before heating should provide all moisture needed.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Naimah
In a Fire
posted 04-05-2006 05:11:58 PM
quote:
How.... `Doc.... uughhhhhh:
I can't congratulate you, because you posted this in a thread of things you can't do.

Oh, the sweet suculent irony.

I can't spell worth shit.

Manticore
Not Much Fun Anymore
posted 04-05-2006 06:59:35 PM
According to my director, I can't sing worth a damn.
"France tried to turtle, but Hitler did a tank rush before they were ready. Just shows how horribly unbalanced real life is. They should release a patch."
Willias
Pancake
posted 04-05-2006 07:21:23 PM
I can't burp. Seriously.
Kaiote
Shot in the Face
posted 04-05-2006 07:21:45 PM
quote:
Bloodsage had this to say about Cuba:
I'm not good at that whole "diplomacy" thing.

At your rank, you're not good at diplomacy?

I call bullshit.

Henry had been killed by a garden gnome.He had fallen off the roof onto that cheerful-looking figure. The gnome was made of concrete. Henry wasn't. - Dean Koontz, Velocity
Jajahotep
Vader to Deth's Obi-wan
posted 04-05-2006 08:24:20 PM
quote:
How.... Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael.... uughhhhhh:
I have difficulties shutting off the longwinded "am I being penalized for length? better pad out the argument" side of my typing.

I also cannot have a panda in my back yard, according to the standards for panda care outlined by the government of the Peoples' Republic of China.


But you can have a shar pei!

Goma
Pancake
posted 04-05-2006 08:26:32 PM
I can't snap my fingers with my left hand.

Callalron
Hires people with hooks
posted 04-05-2006 08:28:04 PM
quote:
Kaiote had this to say about dark elf butts:
At your rank, you're not good at diplomacy?

I call bullshit.


Ok, perhaps he should have said he's not good at suffering fools gladly.

I know I'm not either.

That better?

Callalron
"When mankind finally discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be upset that it isn't them."
"If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll just go out and buy an ugly hat. But if you talk to a starving man about fish, then you've become a consultant."--Dogbert
Arvek, 41 Bounty Hunter
Vrook Lamar server
Nicole
The hip-hop-happiest bunny in all of marshmallow woods
posted 04-05-2006 10:39:30 PM
I can't drive. I've tried, and it just doesn't work out. I panic and I have no coordination. It will suck when I eventually move out of Toronto.

I can't whistle either, but that's good because whistling is one of the most irritating sounds a human can produce.

I can't play games in first-person mode, or only very few of them, as I'm one of those unfortunates who gets instant deadly vertigo and has to go lay down after half an hour. If the game is stellar I'll try to trudge through, but if I can't switch to third-person it will probably suck all the enjoyment of the game right away.



I just spent
my last cent
purchasing this poverty.

Sentow, Maybe
Pancake
posted 04-05-2006 11:00:24 PM
I can't move either of my pinky fingers without moving the ring finger on the associated hand. This happens to my ring fingers, too (where my pinky and middle fingers will move), but to a lesser degree.

I can't use drybrushing to paint highlights on a model. I follow any directions I get to the letter, but I just can't do it =\

I can't get past the last couple levels in StarCraft: Brood War without cheating. I also cheated my way through the last level of The Frozen Throne, but I'm pretty sure I could beat it legitimately if I tried.

Apparently, I can't make a brief list of silly things I can't do without turning it into an autobiography.

And like most people, I can't stop the rock.

Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We'll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.
Sean
posted 04-05-2006 11:03:11 PM
quote:
Sentow, Maybe enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
And like most people, I can't stop the rock.

A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Taeldian
Pancake
posted 04-05-2006 11:14:11 PM
quote:
Maradon! had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
What does the seasoning have to do with structural integrity?

I can't kill warriors in PVP. Other people (only warriors) claim that I should be able to.

I even started a warrior in the hopes of learning their weaknesses, but at level 54 as an extremely poorly equipped MS warrior, I'm pretty certain I could kill me with ease, especially if I've got recklessness up.


Seduction/shadowbolt spam. If you're well geared (Which, from what I understand, you are) a warrior shouldn't stand a chance. If the warrior is still up when diminishing returns become a problem, DoT him and run around. The warrior will burn intercept during the seduction/shadowbolt spam 100% of the time, so you can run around out of range of hamstring/piercing howl while dots are running with impunity.

If he manages to stay alive through that long enough to get another intercept off, death coil and start again.

Or, if you're soul link, just DoT and win.

Maradon!
posted 04-05-2006 11:37:44 PM
quote:
x--TaeldianO-('-'Q) :
Seduction/shadowbolt spam.

Works for 1 nuke if I'm lucky and they don't have a charm breaking trinket, because...

quote:
The warrior will burn intercept during the seduction/shadowbolt spam 100% of the time

You're right, and they'll burn it on my succubus and she'll die almost immediately whether I black book her or not, sometimes before I'm even able to death coil the warrior, always assuming I didn't have to blow death coil just to keep from being charged and killed outright.

quote:
so you can run around out of range of hamstring/piercing howl while dots are running with impunity.

Except that, unless they're stupid, hamstring/howl is the very first thing they'll ever use on me. If you really think that a warlock can prevent a warrior from laying a single finger on him for the duration of a fight, you're simply not being realistic.

quote:
Or, if you're soul link, just DoT and win.

Everything I've ever seen suggests that soul link warlocks do even worse against warriors than I do. 30% damage reduction is great, sure, until your succubus dies somewhere around the 4th blow. The only pets that survive for more than that are pets that are totally useless against warriors.

The only warlocks that seem to be able to kill warriors reliably are affliction/demo who use CoEx and an imp, and even then it's a pretty even match.

But let me take a look at your character info - Oh, a 60 warrior, that's a surprise! haha

Taeldian
Pancake
posted 04-05-2006 11:40:42 PM
I wish I knew where to find a charm breaking trinket.

Experience has taught me that going straight for the succubus is a Bad Thing since it gives the warlock room to drop 4 DoTs and nuke the hell out of you while you do it.

It takes enough time to kill one unless you're using an Ashkandi or something that it's not worth it.

Taeldian fucked around with this message on 04-05-2006 at 11:42 PM.

Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 04-06-2006 12:08:45 AM
quote:
Led had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
I am incapable of describing people As in, if a police officer came up and told me to describe my squad leader, I would be unable to convey her appearance even though I see her almost every minute of every day I could sit down in front of you, and be unable to come up with any kind of description while staring you right in the face ;D

Yeah, I have the exact same issue. I couldn't describe my parents or my closest friends to someone.

It's pretty lame.

edit: I can't beat anything in a duel because I'm a druid and a bad one at that

Kegwen fucked around with this message on 04-06-2006 at 12:12 AM.

BeauChan
Objects in sigpic may be hammier than they appear
posted 04-06-2006 12:30:45 AM
quote:
Mix Nicole with water, and you get:
I can't drive. I've tried, and it just doesn't work out. I panic and I have no coordination. It will suck when I eventually move out of Toronto.

Are you kidding?? It's easier when you're outside of Toronto!!!!

Endured by EC for over 7 years and counting...
Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 04-06-2006 01:41:30 AM
quote:
Quoth Callalron:
Ok, perhaps he should have said he's not good at suffering fools gladly.

I know I'm not either.

That better?


See what I mean? I try to be diplomatic about it, and fail miserably.

To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-06-2006 01:47:55 AM
Frankly, I dunno if my inability to snap my fingers is due to never getting the technique down or if my fingers are too pudgy for them to be capable of snapping.

Has anyone seen or heard a fat person snap their fingers? Because I certainly can't remember having ever done so.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Dr. Gee
Say it Loud, Say it Plowed!
posted 04-06-2006 02:01:25 AM
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about pies:
Frankly, I dunno if my inability to snap my fingers is due to never getting the technique down or if my fingers are too pudgy for them to be capable of snapping.

Has anyone seen or heard a fat person snap their fingers? Because I certainly can't remember having ever done so.


I can snap with my right hand pretty well. Touch and go depending on how sweaty my hands are at the time.

Nicole
The hip-hop-happiest bunny in all of marshmallow woods
posted 04-06-2006 06:24:47 AM
quote:
When you think about it, Big Bird is a chocobo furry. Oh yeah, and here's some crap from BeauChan.
Are you kidding?? It's easier when you're outside of Toronto!!!!

I really don't know. It feels like the problem is just that I'm inept rather than it's the city's fault. I can't really pilot any sort of vehicle without smashing it into everything.



I just spent
my last cent
purchasing this poverty.

All times are US/Eastern
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