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Author
Topic: WTF! Females have problems.
Dr Cysa
Angsty Mcangst
posted 07-30-2004 01:44:28 AM
Are females really as dumb as they seem to be when it comes to men? This isn't television ladies, men are not to be trusted, we aren't complicated, and YES, we will occasionally have wandering eyes....ITS CALLED INSTINCT! Dear god, I kid you not in the past 3 days I've gotten calls from female friends asking for help solving their relationship problems, because I'm friends with their boyfriends.

Girls #1: Her problem is that her boyfriend wants to break up with her. (I know for a fact its cause the guy is annoyed with her cause she is a nag and a bitch) She tells me she thinks its cause he found someone else. I tell her that its not it and unfortunately its not his fault, I suggest she give him some space for a few days, let him work things out and be a little nicer to him, and maybe he'll come around. Now she starts telling me that I need to talk to him and that it couldn't be her fault cause she talks to him every day 3 or 4 times, I told her that maybe the problem, she got pissed and hung up on me.

Girl #2: Recently she became friends with one of her ex-boyfriends and she has snuck out of her house late at night several times to go hang out with him. She told this to her boyfriend and he flipped. Um....well I know the ex-boyfriend and he is a guy I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw him. The guy is a horndog and I know he is gonna try and get with her so I'm on the boyfriends side on this one. I tell her that this guy she is back being friends with is not to be trusted and she should sever all ties with him. She gives me some BS like hes changed, he appologized for the mean things he did, and told me he did them cause he loved her, and that he still does. This is the part where I wanted to beat my head with a brick for her complete lack of sense.

Girl #3: This one came in today not to long ago and is the most rediculous. Girl called wanting to know what was going on with her boyfriend he hadn't called her in a while. I knew he was cheating on her and that he wasn't too good of a boyfriend(Outside of the female relationships he was a really nice guy and easy to get along with, but hes not too good with picking a chick and sticking with her). I mention that I think he maybe cheating on her. She tells me NO, she would know if he was. I mention that he has cheat on a lot of girls in the past. Her: "No, he has changed since then, he told me himself." Me: "Alright fine...I KNOW he is cheating on you." Her: "Why would you say something so horrible like that." I hung up on her after that...I called her boyfriend and told him he found a keeper. I made a mental note about how if they get married he will sleep with all the brides maids, they will gossip about him to the girl and the marriage would STILL go through.

I don't discriminate...I hate everyone.
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 07-30-2004 01:47:35 AM
I chalk it up to denial.
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Arttemis
Not Squire... but a guitar!
posted 07-30-2004 01:48:06 AM
No dumber than we are about them at that age.
Dr Cysa
Angsty Mcangst
posted 07-30-2004 01:52:45 AM
True...but we don't understand them because we are a simple creature as far as species go. Females are complicated, seriously I wonder if they know wtf is going on half the time.
I don't discriminate...I hate everyone.
Peter
Pancake
posted 07-30-2004 01:56:37 AM
Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical, that's the only planet in this glaxey that can make that claim.


Other than that, you steped in it in within your first paragraph, your suffering will be long.

Demos
Pancake
posted 07-30-2004 01:57:37 AM
quote:
Dr Cysa had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
...I hung up on her after that...I called her boyfriend and told him he found a keeper.

I laffed

"Jesus saves, Buddha enlightens, Cthulhu thinks you'll make a nice sandwich."
Y.O.T.C
No longer a Towel Girl
posted 07-30-2004 02:04:18 AM

*nod
Lashanna
noob
posted 07-30-2004 02:20:46 AM
Oh geez those crazy femmes
Dad's going to kill you. Really. He is.
Delphi Aegis
Delphi. That's right. The oracle. Ask me anything. Anything about your underwear.
posted 07-30-2004 02:24:20 AM
quote:
Y.O.T.C's little brother wrote this stupid shit:
[xIMG]http://mars.walagata.com/w/yotc/women.gif[/IMG]
*nod

Time AND money, not time times money. The equation is fundamentally flawed, thus, incorrect.

Mostly, because they control the boobies.

Alidane
Urinary Tract Infection
posted 07-30-2004 02:25:00 AM
I'm of the opinion that they eventually settle down and stop being drama-whores.

I just have to wait a few years.

Delphi Aegis
Delphi. That's right. The oracle. Ask me anything. Anything about your underwear.
posted 07-30-2004 02:28:48 AM
quote:
Alidane got bored and wrote this:
I'm of the opinion that they eventually settle down and stop being drama-whores.

I just have to wait a few years.


All the girls my age seem to be interested in is talking on a cell phone to John Mcwifebeat while they weave in and out of traffic at 80mph.

Nobody'll live to be able to date me!

Edit: Changed to prevent jokes.

Delphi Aegis fucked around with this message on 07-30-2004 at 02:29 AM.

Ozimander
$$$$$$$$$$$
posted 07-30-2004 02:32:55 AM
Bah, people are generally fucking nuts. But just in regards to relationship. From a certain age to a certain age (my research is not complete) people in relationships act fucking stupid. At least one pers per relationship. Sometimes both. Rarely neither (within the unknown age limit)
Ferret
Poing! Poing!
posted 07-30-2004 02:37:22 AM
quote:
Lashanna had this to say about Captain Planet:
Oh geez those crazy femmes

Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.

It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.

Y.O.T.C
No longer a Towel Girl
posted 07-30-2004 02:43:51 AM
quote:
This one time, at Ferret camp:
Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.

It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.


*goes to get Ferrets vikeing funeral ready

Gadani
U
posted 07-30-2004 02:45:39 AM
quote:
Ferret had this to say about Optimus Prime:
It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.

But where are those good old fashioned values on which we used to relyyyyy?

Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry!

He's a Family Guy!

Ozimander
$$$$$$$$$$$
posted 07-30-2004 02:47:32 AM
EDIT: I said something real fuckin' stupid.

Ozimander fucked around with this message on 07-30-2004 at 02:48 AM.

Delphi Aegis
Delphi. That's right. The oracle. Ask me anything. Anything about your underwear.
posted 07-30-2004 02:49:45 AM
quote:
I want some of what Ozimander was smoking when they wrote this:
EDIT: I said something real fuckin' stupid.

oh! Oh! What did you say?

And did you find that thing I asked about a while ago? I SS2.

Ozimander
$$$$$$$$$$$
posted 07-30-2004 02:53:33 AM
I am far to lazy. You are fucked.

And I attempted to say something funny and screwed up (Nothing new)

Basically along the lines of 'All the people posting in this thread, or most of them are sad. Myself included.'

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 07-30-2004 02:57:09 AM
quote:
This one time, at Dr Cysa camp:
men are not to be trusted

Speak for yourself.

Dr Cysa
Angsty Mcangst
posted 07-30-2004 03:04:11 AM
No matter how honest or respectful ANY guy is, there is still the ID, sitting right beneath that decent and wholesome exterior. Don't LIE to me and tell me you don't have those thoughts, or you don't go out of your way to be a little nicer to a girl you think is hot, and that you wouldn't mind spending a night or two with.

We are not to be trusted, no matter how honest or righteous our motives maybe in situations, instinct can take over in a heart beat. All it takes is one slip of conscience, and boom. The reason I know what I'm talking about is because up until recent months I was probably the safest male for any female to be around(this is argueable, but from a sexual point of view I'm speaking honestly, as far a verbal point of veiw....no, I'd be a liar), but anyways, I found my breaking point, I found the trigger that set me off. Now I know no matter how much a guy can put up a good show, there is always a demon underneath. WOMEN AREN'T MUCH BETTER.

I don't discriminate...I hate everyone.
Alidane
Urinary Tract Infection
posted 07-30-2004 03:09:59 AM
Sure, Cysa. Whatever you say.

Crackpot

Lashanna
noob
posted 07-30-2004 03:25:50 AM
It's the id. Not the ID. It's not capitalized...
Dad's going to kill you. Really. He is.
Sakkra
Office Linebacker
posted 07-30-2004 03:27:15 AM
quote:
This one time, at Lashanna camp:
It's the id. Not the ID. It's not capitalized...

No, he means the ID. Our drivers' licenses drive us to evil, callous deeds.

Addy
posted 07-30-2004 03:28:24 AM
quote:
Ferret had this to say about pies:
Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.

It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.


OMGF HOW DAER U

Nicole
The hip-hop-happiest bunny in all of marshmallow woods
posted 07-30-2004 03:29:46 AM
quote:
Dr Cysa had this to say about Captain Planet:
No matter how honest or respectful ANY guy is, there is still the ID, sitting right beneath that decent and wholesome exterior. Don't LIE to me and tell me you don't have those thoughts, or you don't go out of your way to be a little nicer to a girl you think is hot, and that you wouldn't mind spending a night or two with.

We are not to be trusted, no matter how honest or righteous our motives maybe in situations, instinct can take over in a heart beat. All it takes is one slip of conscience, and boom. The reason I know what I'm talking about is because up until recent months I was probably the safest male for any female to be around(this is argueable, but from a sexual point of view I'm speaking honestly, as far a verbal point of veiw....no, I'd be a liar), but anyways, I found my breaking point, I found the trigger that set me off. Now I know no matter how much a guy can put up a good show, there is always a demon underneath. WOMEN AREN'T MUCH BETTER.


Nobody wants to fuck a pessimist.



I just spent
my last cent
purchasing this poverty.

Dr Cysa
Angsty Mcangst
posted 07-30-2004 03:29:49 AM
that and its about 2:30am and my braen is functioning as well as a arti system being powered by a AAA battery.
I don't discriminate...I hate everyone.
Anakha
my standards skyrocket when im on my keyboard heh
posted 07-30-2004 03:34:45 AM
As Brent Sienna once said
quote:
"Men control the free world, but women control the boobs"
"Buzz Beer, the beer of attainable women!"
"You try balancing a cow on the end of a fencepost to wield it like a club. Thats a physical damn challenge!"
"The only problem i have is too much aggro."
Ferret
Poing! Poing!
posted 07-30-2004 03:37:22 AM
As some random guy on another forum said:

quote:
Now - as far as women are concerned, that's a whole different thing. Women are an entirely different species, like lizards. And much like lizards, you can never, ever know what their scaly brains are thinking.
Ozimander
$$$$$$$$$$$
posted 07-30-2004 03:50:59 AM
As Nietzsche once said:

quote:
"Ya don't look at the mantle when you're pokin' the fire.

I recommend everyone contemplate that for a while.

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 07-30-2004 03:54:11 AM
quote:
Dr Cysa had this to say about Tron:
No matter how honest or respectful ANY guy is, there is still the ID, sitting right beneath that decent and wholesome exterior. Don't LIE to me and tell me you don't have those thoughts, or you don't go out of your way to be a little nicer to a girl you think is hot, and that you wouldn't mind spending a night or two with.


See, I have those thoughts.

Thing is, I choose to NOT ACT ON THEM. In other words, I use the head on my shoulders to think, not the one in my pants.

I guess that means I'm less of a man now

Synjari
Warrior Princess
Cookie Seraphim!
posted 07-30-2004 04:10:11 AM
......


Ok.. dude.. just cause YOU are jaded.. doesnt mean your opinion of women = to anything. I am getting SO tired of people lumping an entire gender (men and women alike) and making stupid generalizations. Get over yourself and yknow what? If you dont wanna hear these people, stop talking to them, pure and simple.

Pet peeve when people make generalizations about race/creed/color/sex.. Take your narrow blinders off and start taking every single person as that.. a single individual.

"Villiany wears many masks, none of which are more dangerous than virtue." - "Sleepy Hollow"
Ferret
Poing! Poing!
posted 07-30-2004 04:11:24 AM
quote:
Ozimander obviously shouldn't have said:
As Nietzsche once said:

I recommend everyone contemplate that for a while.


Good advice. Have to be able to dodge all the cinders and things that get kicked up during those downward wind flows. Some weird shit can come down chimneys sometimes.

Gadani
U
posted 07-30-2004 04:21:20 AM
quote:
Synjari had this to say about Optimus Prime:
......


Ok.. dude.. just cause YOU are jaded.. doesnt mean your opinion of women = to anything. I am getting SO tired of people lumping an entire gender (men and women alike) and making stupid generalizations. Get over yourself and yknow what? If you dont wanna hear these people, stop talking to them, pure and simple.

Pet peeve when people make generalizations about race/creed/color/sex.. Take your narrow blinders off and start taking every single person as that.. a single individual.



Amen!

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 07-30-2004 04:27:18 AM
quote:
Synjari got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
......


Ok.. dude.. just cause YOU are jaded.. doesnt mean your opinion of women = to anything. I am getting SO tired of people lumping an entire gender (men and women alike) and making stupid generalizations. Get over yourself and yknow what? If you dont wanna hear these people, stop talking to them, pure and simple.

Pet peeve when people make generalizations about race/creed/color/sex.. Take your narrow blinders off and start taking every single person as that.. a single individual.


Alidane
Urinary Tract Infection
posted 07-30-2004 04:48:56 AM
quote:
Falaanla Marr had this to say about John Romero:
I guess that means I'm less of a man now

But you're not a man!
Vernaltemptress
Withered and Alone
posted 07-30-2004 05:39:52 AM
Find some new friends!
Obamanomics: spend, tax, and borrow.
tFUCKING RETARD
Pancake
posted 07-30-2004 05:49:23 AM
But he fits in so well with the ones he has now.
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.
Mod
Pancake
posted 07-30-2004 07:29:26 AM
Seriously dude, instincts and actions are two completely different things. If I followed my instincts unchecked I'd probably be in jail for murder right now. Instinct, in such cases, is a bad excuse for crummy behavior.
Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-30-2004 08:03:34 AM
Instinct takes over in a heartbeat? Why isn't everyone out raping and killing each other, then?

Seriously dude, you've hit just about every whiner loser cliche here: "Girls aren't logical!" "They only like assholes!" "Girls seem to seek abuse!"

Guess what! Girls are different than us!

Whereas we are driven by a desire to eat meat and procreate, females would rather consume vegetation and cuddle. Where we seek to make war on our enemies, females would rather just watch Sex and the City. Where we try to dominate everything in our immediate vicinity, females try on jeans at the mall.

We hunt. They sleep. We roar. They paint. We swing clubs around and hit bighorn sheep with our penises. They don't use their genitals as weapons at all!

Does this make sense? It shouldn't, because we'll never know how women think and you weeping about it won't make any difference, either.

Now shut up and get me a ham sandwich, bitch.

Elvish Crack Piper
Murder is justified so long as people believe in something different than you do
posted 07-30-2004 08:43:40 AM
Im not sure how you could make a weapon out of a vagina :-/

Penis translates into a club or sword pretty easy, what the hell does the vagina do in combat?

(Insert Funny Phrase Here)
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