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Author
Topic: I wish I was gay
Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 06-18-2002 10:25:56 AM
Then I could get a good blowjob for once.

Seriously I can understand why gay people only feel satisfied with another man. If your partner has access to the equipment 24/7 they are bound to be better at certian things than some one who only gets access to it at most a few hours a week.

My girlfriend won't let me tell her what to do, and I must say, she needs some practice. What to do... what to do...

On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 06-18-2002 10:27:18 AM
Quit bitching about it, and enjoy the fact that she'll actually give you one?
Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 06-18-2002 10:28:55 AM
quote:
Praetor Liam had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
Quit bitching about it, and enjoy the fact that she'll actually give you one?

i could get what she gives from a wet hand-towel.

On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
Aaron (the good one)
posted 06-18-2002 10:30:49 AM
Galbadia Hotel - Video Game Music
I am Canadian and I hate The Tragically Hip
Palador ChibiDragon
Dismembered
posted 06-18-2002 10:31:39 AM
quote:
Blind Swordsman's fortune cookie read:
What to do... what to do...

Get her a copy of "Blowjobs for Dummies".

I believe in the existance of magic, not because I have seen proof of its existance, but because I refuse to live in a world where it does not exist.
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 06-18-2002 10:36:28 AM
Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 06-18-2002 10:40:37 AM
*whistles innocently*
Akiraiu Zenko
Is actually a giddy schoolgirl
posted 06-18-2002 10:40:53 AM
The artist formerly known as Zephyer Kyuukaze.
Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 06-18-2002 10:43:23 AM
See.. I wish I could give a blow job to someone who would like one... *sighs* lol =P
Pesco
Is a copyright of Peachis. Don't underestimate his pants, either.
posted 06-18-2002 10:46:21 AM
I dont know why I'm responding to this thread, but I am.

I'm just going on a hunch here, but I'd imagine that since a guy cant suck himself off without some fucked up operation or years of yoga class or something, I dont think a gay guy would be any better then a women. Just a hunch since you know, everyone is different.

And also...

quote:
Quit bitching about it, and enjoy the fact that she'll actually give you one?

Dont be greedy

Mr. Wilams
Pancake
posted 06-18-2002 10:46:35 AM
Dude if you're really that desperate go get a hooker.

She loves you, and I don't think you can ask for much more whether or not her "blowjobs" are amazing.

Jalal d'Varr
Still a gnome!
posted 06-18-2002 10:47:36 AM
quote:
Praetor Liam stopped staring at Deedlit long enough to write:
Quit bitching about it, and enjoy the fact that she'll actually give you one?
Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 06-18-2002 10:53:29 AM
quote:
Mr. Wilams had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
Dude if you're really that desperate go get a hooker.

She loves you, and I don't think you can ask for much more whether or not her "blowjobs" are amazing.


i'm not desperate, in fact i don't even want her to give me head at all. She just does tries to do it, and i go from arrousal state "high" to arrousal state "wft" right quick. But the ettiquite of head states that one is not permitted to turn down head or act in the least ungrateful for it, so i have to pretend that i'm enjoying my self. God I think i know how a woman feels when she's having sex with a man with a 2 inch rooster.

Its not as if i'm going to break up with her over this or let it get in the way of our relationship, it just annoys me, and it's a block to our intimacy.

On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
Mr. Wilams
Pancake
posted 06-18-2002 10:55:44 AM
Tell her?
Akiraiu Zenko
Is actually a giddy schoolgirl
posted 06-18-2002 11:03:17 AM
quote:
Pesco enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
I dont know why I'm responding to this thread, but I am.

I'm just going on a hunch here, but I'd imagine that since a guy cant suck himself off without some fucked up operation or years of yoga class or something, I dont think a gay guy would be any better then a women. Just a hunch since you know, everyone is different.

And also...

Dont be greedy


Difference being, a guy has the parts, and has some idea of how things feel.

The artist formerly known as Zephyer Kyuukaze.
Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 06-18-2002 11:03:57 AM
quote:
This one time, at Zephyer camp:
Difference being, a guy has the parts, and has some idea of how things feel.

exactly.

On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 06-18-2002 11:09:29 AM
quote:
Zephyer's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
Difference being, a guy has the parts, and has some idea of how things feel.

Same thing applies to women and being a lesbian.....

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 06-18-2002 11:15:22 AM
quote:
A sleep deprived Blind Swordsman stammered:
i'm not desperate, in fact i don't even want her to give me head at all. She just does tries to do it, and i go from arrousal state "high" to arrousal state "wft" right quick. But the ettiquite of head states that one is not permitted to turn down head or act in the least ungrateful for it, so i have to pretend that i'm enjoying my self. God I think i know how a woman feels when she's having sex with a man with a 2 inch rooster.

Its not as if i'm going to break up with her over this or let it get in the way of our relationship, it just annoys me, and it's a block to our intimacy.


Yeah, and making her think she's doing a good job is gonna make things better. You gotta tell her that she either needs to let you guide her to a better experience or just tell her you'd rather do something else. It's your dick, dude. Treat it right.

Mightion Defensor
posted 06-18-2002 12:48:35 PM
I will regret clicking this thread for a long long time.

* watches the PG-13 rating carjack an Infernus and speed off

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 06-18-2002 12:54:47 PM
you and me both, Mightion. Maybe if things were approached with some tact...
Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Mightion Defensor
posted 06-18-2002 01:08:16 PM
quote:
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
you and me both, Mightion. Maybe if things were approached with some tact...

Color me crazy, but I don't consider discussing the inadequacy of blowjobs on a semi-public message board "approached with some tact."

But I'm nutty that way.

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 06-18-2002 01:30:56 PM
I think you could slip into the subject with some tact. And a warning on the thread.
Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Faelynn LeAndris
Lusty busty redheaded wood elf with sharp claws
posted 06-18-2002 01:32:49 PM

My LAUNCHCast Station
"Respect the Forest, Fear the Ranger"
I got lost for an hour and became god.
Beta Tested
Pancake
posted 06-18-2002 01:50:17 PM
quote:
Bajah Model 2000 was programmed to say:
It's your dick, dude. Treat it right.

*nodnod*

Basically what others have said. If you don't like it, either ask her to stop or try and help her get better at it. If you don't feel comfortable enough to talk about sex, then why have it?

What's this thing do?
That would be sooo cool if it wasn't going to hurt us.
Melphina's Magelo
Cadga
Quite Insane
posted 06-18-2002 02:53:32 PM
Alot of woamn actually find that kind of degrading and DONT like to do it really.

Your lucky she even goes down on you, she doesnt have to. ;P

and you better be going downtown on her if not.. your not a man your a BOY.

Professional Sinner/Heretic
My mindless dribble
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 06-18-2002 03:02:41 PM
/agree Cadga
Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Blindy
Roll for initiative, Monkey Boy!
posted 06-18-2002 03:29:57 PM
quote:
A sleep deprived Iron Chef Cadga stammered:
Alot of woamn actually find that kind of degrading and DONT like to do it really.

Your lucky she even goes down on you, she doesnt have to. ;P

and you better be going downtown on her if not.. your not a man your a BOY.


well of course i am.

On a plane ride, the more it shakes,
The more I have to let go.
Burger
BANNED!
posted 06-18-2002 04:26:07 PM
clickie (clean)
Bite me.

No, Really. Bite me.

Akiraiu Zenko
Is actually a giddy schoolgirl
posted 06-18-2002 04:29:32 PM
I was tactful! Don't blame me!
The artist formerly known as Zephyer Kyuukaze.
Arttemis the Rogue
Amethyst's sex toy
posted 06-18-2002 04:35:31 PM
Azeroth™
Want my opinion?
posted 06-18-2002 04:41:40 PM
quote:
Iron Chef Cadga had this to say about Pirotess:
Alot of woamn actually find that kind of degrading and DONT like to do it really.

Your lucky she even goes down on you, she doesnt have to. ;P

and you better be going downtown on her if not.. your not a man your a BOY.



Damn straight!


[/URL]
Soltari Tungus
Pancake
posted 06-18-2002 04:44:43 PM
You could always turn gay.
You would do well to fear a dragon's wrath. You would do better to fear a woman's.
Steven Steve
posted 06-18-2002 06:29:43 PM
quote:
Pesco painfully thought these words up:
I dont know why I'm responding to this thread, but I am.

I'm just going on a hunch here, but I'd imagine that since a guy cant suck himself off without some fucked up operation or years of yoga class or something, I dont think a gay guy would be any better then a women. Just a hunch since you know, everyone is different.

And also...

Dont be greedy


Well actually, I... I...

"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Arrenn Lightblade
Yes. Yes he is.
posted 06-18-2002 07:14:59 PM
[MeMyself&Irene on]
Haha, excuse me? You cook? Man, your the one who thought you got chipped beef from a toothy blowjob!
Nae
Fun with Chocolate
posted 06-18-2002 08:35:39 PM
As others pointed out.. you are lucky to get anything.

If you two aren't adult enough to communicate about sex, you shouldn't be doing anything at all. Sex is about learning about each other and sharing what feels good. If she "sucks" at sucking.. it's your responsibility to show her what you like. It's her responsibility to tell you that you suck ass at kissing too.

Grow up and learn to discuss things.

King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 06-18-2002 08:37:53 PM
I would like some sex.
Nae
Fun with Chocolate
posted 06-18-2002 08:39:12 PM
quote:
King Parcelan had this to say about Punky Brewster:
I would like some sex.

okay..come to Vegas and we will get you some.

King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 06-18-2002 08:40:58 PM
That's a long way to go. Can you send some here?
Nae
Fun with Chocolate
posted 06-18-2002 08:42:28 PM
no.. cuz the legal prostitutes don't deliver.
King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 06-18-2002 08:46:27 PM
They should.
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