quote:No, he's right. It was neither funny nor inspirational.
Roll the dice to see if Delphi Aegis is getting drunk!
Medical science and religion does little to help with real problems, but a good friend can get you out of anything?I expected Ryuven to be that dense, but not you.
Ever pull a grilled cheese apart?
quote:
Delphi Aegis had this to say about Duck Tales:
Medical science and religion does little to help with real problems, but a good friend can get you out of anything?I expected Ryuven to be that dense, but not you.
Nice quote from "West Wing".
But my joke:
These three couples were trying to join the Southern Baptist Church: an old couple, a middle-aged couple, and a couple of newly-weds. The preacher told them that to join the church, they would need to prove that they can avoid temptation for a period of time. To prove this, they'd need to abstain from sex for two weeks, and return after that period.
After two weeks had passed, all three couples showed up at the church again. The preacher looked at the old couple and asked, "How'd you do?"
The old man said, "We made it. Since a lot of those urges have passed, it wasn't a real challenge."
The preacher nodded and said, "Welcome to the Southern Baptist Church. How'd you do?" he asked, turning to the middle-aged couple.
"Well, it was a bit of a stretch, but we made it barely."
The preacher nodded and welcomed them in, too, before turning to the newly-weds. "How'd you fare?"
The young couple looked a bit sheepish and the husband said, "Well, we didn't make it. My wife was reaching for a light bulb on the top shelf, dropped it, and when she bent over to pick it up, I couldn't help myself. I jumped her, and we had sex right there on the floor."
The preacher shook his head and said, "Well, I'm sorry, but you're not welcome here at the Baptist Church."
The young husband nodded and said, "That's okay. We're not welcome back at Walmart, either."
quote:
Leopold had this to say about Duck Tales:
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears. Says, "But Doctor...I am Pagliacci."
/depressing joke derail
You get bonus points for using a Rorschach picture
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage!
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Mr. Parcelan said:
Do Dead Baby jokes count?What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage!
It's I don't have a corvette in my garage...
What's the diffrence between a truck filled with bowling balls and a truck filled with dead babies?
You can't unload a truck of bowling balls with a pitchfork
And my favorite dead baby joke of all time:
What's the worst part of a pile of 1000 dead babies? TheOriginalZane fucked around with this message on 03-28-2005 at 11:51 PM.
The one live baby at the bottom, eating it's way to the top.
quote:
TheOriginalZane said this about your mom:What's the worst part of a pile of 1000 dead babies?
The one live baby at the bottom, eating it's way to the top.
What's worse than that?
When it goes back for seconds.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
It is held in thought
only by the understanding
of the Wind.
Depends on how hard you throw them
No, Really. Bite me.
They aren't considered 'dirty jokes'.
Dirty jokes are something like "Two guys and a girl walk into a bar and fuck", except funny.
quote:
Gadani painfully thought these words up:
Dirty jokes are something like "Two guys and a girl walk into a bar and fuck", except funny.
Why don't you post one, mister assface?
The mother was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a person and make that sort of comment. For punishment, the boy had to read a play by Shakespeare. He couldn't go shopping again until he finished reading the play.
Finally he finished the play and his mom took him once again to the mall. Again he spied the bowlegged man, but remembering what happened the last time he pulled on his mother's hand and said, "Lo, what manner of men are these, who wear their balls in parentheses?"
quote:
Trent wrote, obviously thinking too hard:
A woman was out shopping one day with her son. The boy spotted a man who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom's hand and said, "Momma, look at the bowlegged man."The mother was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a person and make that sort of comment. For punishment, the boy had to read a play by Shakespeare. He couldn't go shopping again until he finished reading the play.
Finally he finished the play and his mom took him once again to the mall. Again he spied the bowlegged man, but remembering what happened the last time he pulled on his mother's hand and said, "Lo, what manner of men are these, who wear their balls in parentheses?"
That fuckin' rocked.
