A homesick abortion
you asked for it
quote:
Anklebiter had this to say about Knight Rider:
What's red, slimy, and crawls up your leg?A homesick abortion
you asked for it
YES! More of this. That was funny.
Mr. Gainsborough fucked around with this message on 03-25-2005 at 11:48 PM.
"Voodoo dick, that door's keyhole" and the Voodoo dick flew out of the box and started screwing the keyhole, in and ou,t in and out, vibrating and vibrating until the door cracked and shattered, and the man said "Voodoo dick, back in your box." "That's just what I need, Ill take it!" So the man goes home and shows his wife the voodoo dick.
He leaves and the wife starts getting lonely, so she pulls out the box and says "Voodoo dick, my cunt" and the voodoo dick goes at it. She has orgasm after multiple orgasm, hours and hours, but she realises her husband didn't tell her how to make it go back, and the only thing she can think of is to go to the store and ask the manager, so she gets in the car and starts driving. However, being as she's being constantly fucked by the voodoo dick, and orgasming while driving, she is weaving all over the road and gets pulled over by a cop. The cop asks her what the problem is, and she tells him about the voodoo dick and after she gets done, he obviously doesn't believe it. He starts writing the ticket and says "Voodoo dick my ass."
Getting blood on your clown suit.
Pull her hair back and she looks nine.
You can turn her around and pretend it's a 10 year old boy
No, Really. Bite me.
the 7 year old boy in my trunk.
You can't gargle sand.
Your face is funny!
lol!
quote:
Suddar had this to say about Captain Planet:
What's the difference between your face and this thread?Your face is funny!
lol!
First one I actually laughed at. Which is ironic because it means you were wrong then. Because the thread finally was funny. But then the joke wouldn't make se- *blows up from paradox logic*
quote:
Alidane had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
A baby seal walked into a club.
*Steals this joke and runs away laughing...*
Nothing.
The Mexican rubs it and poof, a Genie pops out. He turns to the Mexican and says, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican replies, "I want all my Mexican brothers and sisters to all be happy and living in Mexico and stuff," so the Genie goes poof and all the Mexicans are in Mexico.
He turns to the black guy now and goes, "What's your one wish?" The black guy says, "I want all my African brothers and sisters to all be happy and living in Africa and stuff," so the Genie goes poof and all the Africans are in Africa.
The Genie turns to the white guy and says, "What's your one wish?" He asks back, "You mean to tell me all the grandmas are in Africa and the Spics are in Mexico?" The Genie nods. The white guy says, "Well, uh, I'll have a Coke, then."
Suddenly, he sees a doctor walk by.
"Doc!", he yells. "You gotta help me, Doc! I'm stuck in this hole!".
The doctor looks down at him, writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and continues on.
Then, a priest walks by.
"Father!", he yells. "You gotta help me, father. I'm stuck in a hole!"
The priest looks down the hole, writes out a prayer, throws it down the hole, and moves on.
Then, a while later, his friend walks by. "Hey, bud! Can ya help me out of this hole?"
Then the friend immediately jumps in the hole. "What the hell are you doing? Now we're BOTH stuck in the hole!"
"Yes," replies the friend, "But I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
acne waits till puberty to come on your face
The cops. 
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Delphi Aegis said:
So a guy falls into a hole. Tries as hard as he can, he can't get out.Suddenly, he sees a doctor walk by.
"Doc!", he yells. "You gotta help me, Doc! I'm stuck in this hole!".The doctor looks down at him, writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and continues on.
Then, a priest walks by.
"Father!", he yells. "You gotta help me, father. I'm stuck in a hole!"The priest looks down the hole, writes out a prayer, throws it down the hole, and moves on.
Then, a while later, his friend walks by. "Hey, bud! Can ya help me out of this hole?"
Then the friend immediately jumps in the hole. "What the hell are you doing? Now we're BOTH stuck in the hole!"
"Yes," replies the friend, "But I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
...I don't get it.
The builder, astonished, and a bit pissed off, ran downstairs to confront his mate. "You twat," he said, "I was trying to tell you that I needed a saw."
"I know," replied the man. "I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
"Here's the plan. I'm going to climb up that tree and poke the Gorilla with this stick. When the Gorilla falls out the Chawawa is trained to attack his 'Sensitive Area' then when he goes to move his hands to protect it you put the cuffs on.
The owner looks puzzled and asks only one question. "What's with the shotgun?"
The man repsonds. "If I fall down before the gorilla shoot the chawawa!" Burori fucked around with this message on 03-27-2005 at 11:46 AM.
Race: Dwarf
Name: (Kill) Kilinus
Class: Fighter/Weapon Master/ Doom Knight
Level: 14
Allignent: Neutral Evil
Diety: Bane
It's not something people hear about.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
a quarter pounder with cheese.
Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears. Says, "But Doctor...I am Pagliacci."
/depressing joke derail
quote:
Ruvyen had this to say about Optimus Prime:
...I don't get it.
That makes two of us.
quote:
This insanity brought to you by Fazum'Zen Fastfist:
"Chawawa" haha
Chihuahua...
quote:
El Cuchillo's fortune cookie read:
That makes two of us.
Not meant to be a joke, but an inspirational story.
I didn't know where else to put it.
quote:
Delphi Aegis had this to say about Duck Tales:
Not meant to be a joke, but an inspirational story.I didn't know where else to put it.
Oh. Now it makes even less sense.
quote:
El Cuchillo got bored and wrote this:
Oh. Now it makes even less sense.
Medical science and religion does little to help with real problems, but a good friend can get you out of anything?
I expected Ryuven to be that dense, but not you. 
quote:
Delphi Aegis had this to say about pies:
Medical science and religion does little to help with real problems, but a good friend can get you out of anything?I expected Ryuven to be that dense, but not you.
I read it as they both wrote instructions to get out of the hole, and the friend was too stupid to just tell him.
But anyway you look at it, it's retarded and does not belong in this thread.
It's not something people hear about.
quote:
How.... Delphi Aegis.... uughhhhhh:
Medical science and religion does little to help with real problems, but a good friend can get you out of anything?I expected Ryuven to be that dense, but not you.
Nah, that joke sucked. This is a dirty joke thread, not an after school special of the week joke thread.
