Scene opens as Bajah arrives at a Tent and kneels before a redneck in a classy kimono.
Bajah: Shogun Arttemis! We have news!
Arttemis: Wait...we? Do you have more people under that armor?
Bajah: No, I-
Arttemis: ARE YOU THE MATRIX?!?!
Arttemis shrieks and rises up in his chair, waving a fan at Bajah.
Arttemis: I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY YOU CRAVE!
Bajah: ...I don't know why we ever made you Shogun.
Arttemis: We put it to a vote that one day everyone else was sick. I won by a landslide.
Bajah: ...anyways, the metal-clad female and crazy captain have proved to be trying. I request the clan's help to remove them as threats.
Arttemis: So, if I get this right, you want warriors to avenge you because you got your ass kicked by a girl and a lunatic?
Bajah: Hai.
Arttemis: This conflict strikes too close to home. I shall give you one hundred of our Clan's ninjas...on ATVs.
Bajah: Isn't that a little-
Arttemis: BADASS? When we do ninjas, samurai, we don't fuck around!
Meanwhile, in the far reaches of space...
Rosaline: Computer, plot a course for Earth again. I believe I have the weapons needed to take care of the samurai.
A bearded face appears on a screen within the ship.
Faeputer: I have a name, you know.
Rosaline: I know. I'm just being professional.
Faeputer: Professional?! Is that what you call being discourteous in space?
Rosaline: ...is something bothering you?
Faeputer: I think we need to talk...about our relationship.
Rosaline: Jesus, computer, not now...
Faeputer: Then when?! *weep* I spend all day, slaving over a hot circuit board, plotting courses, recharging ammo and downloading porn for you.
Rosaline: And I appreciate it. But I can't deal with this now. Look, I promise you we'll have a nice dinner tonight and-
Faeputer: Oh, so now you think I can be bought? I'm some kind of whoreputer?
As Rosaline sighs, the camera zooms back down to the seas of earth, where our two nefarious water bandits plot in the hold of their pirate ship.
Kagrama: fierst maet! maek raedy the crew FOER BAETTEL!!1
Addy: Uh...we threw the crew overboard, sir. You said it was too avenge the sea spirits, but I think they knew we just wanted their lunches.
Kagrama: whaet a silley thiang foer us to do!1 then yuo and I shael haev to MAEN THE CANNONOS!!1
Addy: We don't have any cannons, either, sir. We sold them to buy more lunch.
Kagrama: WHAET?!?!
Addy: It was a good lunch, sir.
Kagrama: Waelel, whaet do we haeve?
Addy: Uh...one "Party Troll."
The door suddenly bursts open as a fat troll carrying a boombox blaring the Venga Boys on his shoulder rampages in.
Diadem: WHO'S READY TA PARTAAAAAAAAAY?!
Kagrama: i sea! whaet caen he doe?
Addy: Well, he plays annoying music, eats everyone's snacks, and spouts out a bunch of cliches.
Diadem: RAISE DA ROOF!
Kagrama: AESXCELLENT! we aer raedy for baettle! TO the JUICEMOBIEL!
TO BE CONTINUED
Wait, do I get an ATV too?
quote:
Bajah said this about your mom:
Bravobravo!Wait, do I get an ATV too?
Giant missile-firing rabbit.
And I love the Faeputer hee hee...
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
Meanwhile, in Washington, our bold fighter pilots arrive at the White House, where a petite secretary squats behind a desk.
Callalron: We're here to see the-
Nae: Woah, woah, woah, woah...woah. You've got some nerve!
Callalron: Uhhh...what?
Nae: Can't you see I'm squatting here? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to inquire when a woman's squatting?
Callalron: Uh...
Snoota: My mom made me watch her squat. She'd always squat and scream: "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DRIVEN ME TO!"
Callalron: So, anyways-
Snoota: It's all coming back now. I still remember the sounds...the smell...the hair...
Callalron: About that meeting-
Snoota: I remember one Sunday, when she was wearing her Sunday's best-
Nae: HE'S IN THE OVAL OFFICE! GO NOW! GO!
Callalron: Thank you.
The two fighter pilots scurry into the office to meet their commander-in-chief, sitting behind his desk in his chair, his back to the two military men.
Callalron: Mr. President, sir, we have a security breach.
The chair whirls around to reveal a small Asian man.
nem-x: ELEANOR ROOSEVELT!
Callalron: ...excuse me?
nem-x: It all makes sense now...Eleanor Roosevelt is an old dead lady!
Callalron: ...uh...yes?
nem-x: Exactly.
Callalron: Anyways, we've got problems, sir. There are two ancient egyptian horrors trashing our fine country and my partner keeps dressing up like a geisha.
Snoota: You said I looked pretty.
Callalron: Anyways, I require a few more fighter pilots to wreak havoc and perhaps to impress Russian chicks with.
nem-x: Excellent. You shall take half the fellowship, and if you're good, Santa will give you many presents.
The two men exchange nervous glances as the scene pans to a secret laboratory, where our two ass-faced and hawk-faced titans sit over a mixing bowl.
Ja'Deth: We have all our ingredients. Soon, we shall have the perfect formula to construct the perfect robot to CRUSH THE TEEN TITANS!
Karnaj: Pardon me, but I believe that the plan was for us to make the perfect formula to bake the perfect pizza to CRUSH OUR INTESTINAL TRACT!
Ja'Deth: That's a stupid plan and you're stupid for thinking it.
Karnaj: We never get to do what I like.
Ja'Deth: Shut up and add ingredients. I have this chocolate you brought.
Karnaj: Good. I have this little elf woman I stepped on earlier. I'll just toss her in the pot.
Ja'Deth: Holy crap! You got your chocolate all over my wife's crushed corpse!
Karnaj: No way! You got your wife's crushed corpse all over my chocola-...hmmm...
And thus, an idea was born.
Meanwhile, in a little bar in downtown Soho, a lawyer busts a move on-stage.
Gydyman: WELCOME TO THE HOTEL CALIIIIIIIFORNIAAAAAA! LAWYERS CAN'T SING AND I DON'T REMEMBER THESE WORDS! WOOOOOH-OOOOOH!
A dark elf waitress approaches the laywer's companion at the bar.
Waitress Trillee: So...is he single?
Battyboy: I'm sorry. I have a terrible rash on my sac.
Trillee: ...
Battyboy holds up a burlap sack.
Battyboy: Potato sack!
Trillee: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Battyboy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Trillee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Battyboy: God, my nuts itch.
And for no reason, here's Ukko getting mauled by a velociraptor.
Ukko: WAHAUIGFYUGUGQUEBECOISGGHFHHAHAAGH!
Only three episodes left!
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
But can you really cram the rest of the EC boards into the story without doing an en mass cameo? 
quote:
Rodent King had this to say about Punky Brewster:
Great stuff, Hahaha!But can you really cram the rest of the EC boards into the story without doing an en mass cameo?
Mass execution.
