But seriously: 4, they can't stand the j-pop
With a mighty TWANG! he began to bust out some mighty tunes. It started as nonsense, then slowly climbed into stranger nonsense, and finally it became Invasion from Within, by Tsunami Bomb. Not that anyone really knew what that was.
The two giants watched the bard strum his guitar, far too engrossed to even notice Sir Snoota sneak up and take his pig back. Mounting it, he trotted over to Lashanna and threw her over his lap like a pillaged wench, preparing to make a hasty retreat...
"This tune speaks to me, dude 
," Liam said, bobbing his head to the music.
"It's strange and new," Sean said, scrunching up his already hideous face. "I don't like it!"
"Yeah, but listen to it, dude," Liam said, "it's saying we should end this feud, see? We should be the buddies we once were."
"That sounds like something you'd say," Sean said with a nod, "and by that, I mean something completely faggoty."
"GODDAMMIT!" Liam howled. His green arm snaked out suddenly and clawed Sean's face. "WHY CAN'T YOU EVER EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS?!"
"BECAUSE I DON'T TAKE IT IN THE POOPER, HOMO!" The ogre roared and tore the troll's arm from his socket, beating him profusely with it.
"DIDN'T HURT! DIDN'T HURT!" Liam laughed as his arm already started to grow back.
"WELL, LET'S SEE JUST HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAN TAKE!" Sean delivered a crushing blow to the troll, knocking down onto his stomach. With a bellow and a mighty thrust, Sean rammed the arm where it was never meant to go.
"WHERE'S YOUR DIVERSITY NOW, BITCH?!" Sean howled in laughter as the troll...just howled.
Sir Snoota took the opportunity to ride by and snatch up his bard, and so the companions disappeared on pigback, Invasion from Within playing on the breeze as they hurried away...
*** LATER, OUTSIDE THE CANYON ***
"Finally!" Sir Snoota said as they trotted out of the mountainous path. "We have arrived in Flamberbia!"
"It's so pretty," Lashanna said, looking around. Indeed, it looked like any other peaceful countryside. "I was expecting flame-ridden fields and other such calamities."
"Make no mistake," Sir Snoota said, "this land hides it well, but it is thoroughly evil."
"Sir knight," Vorbis piped up from the back, "it is said that there are two wisemen in the land of Flamberbia. We should visit them before we go to fight Bloodsage."
"Well-said, faggot," Snoota said, "but we have time to visit but one!"
"To the north," Vorbis said, pointing to a distant temple, "lives Zaza, the Sage of Courage. And to the south dwells Ja'Deth, Sage of Wisdom."
"A sage of courage could offer us inspiration to better defeat Bloodsage!" Lashanna said.
"But a sage of wisdom could give us well-needed battle advice," Vorbis countered, "which shall it be, sir knight?"
Sir Snoota paused and thought...
Which sage shall they visit?
1: Bloodsage is terrifying! Let them be inspired by Zaza!
2: Bloodsage is very crafty! Let Ja'Deth guide them!
3: Is it my turn to ride Lashanna? Choose another, too...
quote:
nem-x spewed forth this undeniable truth:
Tsunami Bomb isn't jpop duderz
In this world it is.
I vote 2.
Two. 
This is my first post in this thread. 
quote:
Lashanna was listening to Cher while typing:
I vote one.This is my first post in this thread.
Get to bed missy. It's late. This is my first post in this thread too
2 3
Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop
2.
not a bump
It's not something people hear about.
[ 01-06-2004: Message edited by: Black ]
(first post in thread, oh yeah)
"He seems deep in meditation," Lashanna noted.
"Nay," the man replied, "though I am wise and all-knowing, I didn't have the sense to eat enough fiber. I've been trying to take a dump for two days now."
"Sage of Wisdom," Snoota said, "we are-"
"I know who you are," the sage responded quickly, "you come seeking my advice on how to defeat the Warlock Bloodsage." He opened an eye to regard them. "I, the great Sage Ja'Deth, know the key to ruining the evil wizard."
"Then tell us!" Sir Snoota cried out.
"It is a difficult matter," Ja'Deth said, humming thoughtfully. "The Warlock is invulnerable to weapons and magic. There is but one thing that can defeat him: a sandwich."
"A sandwich?" Vorbis asked.
"Not just any sandwich!" Ja'Deth rumbled. "The Sandwich of Ages. It can only be crafted with knowledge wrought from the Book of Exalted Sandwiches: a tome of great cookery that can be found in the forgotten ruins of DelphiBlows."
"Then I shall obtain that book!" Sir Snoota boasted, turning his pig around.
"It is not that simple," Ja'Deth said, "you cannot go. One of your companions must go in your stead."
"But...why?" Sir Snoota asked. "Besides being able to scream loudly and dress provocatively, they have no real skill."
"Because," the sage said, "I'm about to make a huge mess in about five minutes, and you must help clean it up...the path to wisdom is not a pretty one." He looked at Sir Snoota expectantly.
"Which shall it be?"
Who shall go to the ruins?
1: Lashanna! She is nimble, agile and scantily-clad!
2: Vorbis! He is charismatic, intelligent and queer!
3!
2.
