(Sorry Bajah 
)
The double post safeguard stopped me from posting when I typed "3!"
Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop
quote:Don't worry buddy. We'll work through this.
But Bajah doesn't really care for music, do you?
I'm somewhat distressed that Bloodsage called me an Internet Whore.
Together.
"You freak!" cried Sir Snoota. The mighty King took a step back in shock. "What kind of fool dyes his warriors' hair purple? Have you lived through the 80's in this cave? Or are you just leader of a Rainbow of Diversity?"
"Hey now, that's not very-" King Bajah began to say, but he was cut off by Lashanna's sudden howl.
"You MUST be gay," she roared, "what sort of man kidnaps a supple, nearly-nude elf, chains her up and doesn't get so much as a stir in his pants? HMMM?"
"But I only have one test-" King Bajah once again stuttered, though cut off like a scalp as Vorbis suddenly cried out.
"YOU FAGGOT! YOU MINSY LITTLE FAGGOT! YOU PROBABLY TONE YOUR MUSCLE BY RAMMING YOUR GIGANTIC ORC COCK INTO YOUR WARRIORS' ASSES! SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH AND GO HOME! BURN! BURN IN HELL, FAGGOT!"
The mighty Bajorc's eyes teared up and glistened. With a sniffle of his porcine snout, he turned and ran down the cavern halls, his weeping moans echoing off the walls.
Sir Snoota turned and glanced at his bardic companion, intrigued by this sudden outburst.
"There is but one bard that could muster such shouts," Sir Snoota said, "I remember her well from the Crusades as she made derogatory remarks to our black-skinned foes."
"Indeed, sir knight," Vorbis said with a gasp; his shout had cost him much of his energy. "I am a descendant of the mighty screaming warrior: Illanae. Her violent blood courses through my veins."
"Ah yes," Sir Snoota said, nodding sagely. "Though amongst her men, she was known as the Screamer for a different reason. But enough talk! We must liberate Lashanna and be off!"
Suddenly, the elf appeared at his side, free of her bonds and dripping with some substance.
"You freed yourself?" Sir Snoota asked. "But how? I used no lubricant."
"I used my own," Lashanna said proudly.
"You elves are truly resourceful!" the knight replied, "But we have no time for dalliances. King Bajah does not take slights lightly, and no doubt he will run crying to his ally: Led, Queen of the Bugbears. We must be off quickly!"
*** LATER, OUTSIDE THE CAVE ***
The pig was heavily laden with Sir Snoota, Lashanna the Swift and Vorbis of the Gypsies, but made no complaint as he trotted across the open plains. Having left the cavern of the Bajorcs far behind, they were growing closer and closer to Bloodsage's dark and twisted realm: Flamberbia.
A day of rest and ride later, they found themselves at the Great Stone Wall that indicated the entrance into Flamberbia. A great canyon formed a road that went straight down the mountainous wall.
"Ahead, sir knight," Lashanna said, "my elven eyesight detects a fork in the road."
"Indeed," Vorbis added, "the canyon is home to a mighty ogre and a savage troll. The path to the right leads to the rocky ravine that is home to Sean, the Ogre Brute. The left leads to the shadowy mountainface where Liam, the Troll Devourer dwells."
"Both sound dangerous, sir knight," Lashanna said, "but either path leads to the heart of Bloodsage's realm. Which road shall we take?"
Sir Snoota furrowed his brow and thought.
Which way should the heroes take?
1: We fear no Ogre! Sean, tremble before our passing!
2: Trolls? Ha! We shall make milk's meat out of Liam!
3: Go back to the part about Lashanna being chained up and oily...oh yeah, and make another selection, too.
quote:
Trent's fortune cookie read:
3.. 3... 3 Ahh, okay, 2 now.
And... I'm spent. [ 01-03-2004: Message edited by: Xyrra ]
quote:
Trent wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
3.. 3... 3 Ahh, okay, 2 now.
Im Rick James, bitch!!!!
quote:
Trent had this to say about John Romero:
3.. 3... 3 Ahh, okay, 2 now.
2.
quote:
Trent thought about the meaning of life:
3.. 3... 3 Ahh, okay, 2 now.
quote:
Trent got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
3.. 3... 3 Ahh, okay, 2 now.
2.
And so the pig trotted down the canyon road until the tan rocks got darker, becoming a deep crimson and finally pitch black. Though the sun still shone on the rock walls, they seemed to devour it like hungry earth. Regardless, Sir Snoota rode on fearlessly. No mere troll was going to frighten him!
His companions were a different story.
"They say that the troll plays rugby," Vorbis said in a whisper.
"Rugby!" Lashanna gasped. "The sport of barbarians! They tear into each other like savages and eat their foes' bones! The trolls are undefeated!"
"And he drinks like a fish," Vorbis said, "imagine: the worst traits of man, beast and fish...all in one package."
"Perhaps we should turn back, sir knight," Lashanna urged her leader, "the ogre is notoriously lazy! He won't lift a finger against us."
"Nonsense!" Sir Snoota bellowed loudly. "What could this troll possibly do-"
He was cut off as a gigantic, lanky creature with greasy hair and a warty, green-skinned body barrelled into the three-people-riding-a-pig convoy, knocking them to the ground with a terrifying warcry: "RUGBY!"
"It's true! It's true!" Vorbis screamed. "Save me, Sir Snoota! I bruise easily!"
Sir Snoota was already on the defense. Raising his lance, he thrust it at Liam's skinny body, smiling grimly as the weapon slid all the way to the grip into his gut. He gasped, however, as the troll growled and made a frown.
"Ow dude ," he said, his voice mellow and laid-back. "You shouldn't play with sharp objects on the field, bro."
"Wait...what?" Sir Snoota asked. "Why aren't you keeling over and bleeding copiously?"
"I don't know how to say that last word," Liam said, scratching his head. "And I'm a troll, duder. I regenerate everything." With that, he pulled Snoota's lance out of his stomach and handed it back to the knight.
"HE'S INDESTRUCTIBLE!" Vorbis cried, throwing himself at the troll's gigantic feet. "O GREAT GREEN TROLL! WE BEG YOU TO SPARE OUR LIVES, WE'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! WE'LL DO ANYTHING! I'LL EVEN SUCK YOUR-"
He was silenced as Sir Snoota clubbed him over the back of the head with the butt of his lance.
"Do anything, huh?" Liam asked, scratching his head (again!). "Well, how about this: that fat bastard in the other yard took my rugby ball and he won't give it back."
"You mean the Ogre?" Lashanna inquired.
"Yeah," Liam said, "he also took my keg. He can't stand to see me have fun. So here's my deal, brothers." He took up Snoota's squealing mount in one hand. "You go and get my stuff back or I'll eat your pig."
"Not my pig!" Sir Snoota cried. "He's my one true friend! Take my companions instead."
"Sure thing, bro 
," Liam agreed, flashing a toothy emoticon. "Which one?"
Sir Snoota sized up his companions and thought...
Which one goes?
1: I fear that though she will be captive again, there will be no bondage and oil for Lashanna. Give him Vorbis.
2: I am secretly attracted to this lovable bard! Give him Lashanna.
3: NO! NOT THE PIG! Choose another, too.
Can I change my answer to 1 also?
quote:
Taylen had this to say about Cuba:
3 and then 2, hmm or maybe some more of 3. After careful thought I think we should stay on 3 for a good long time.
