quote:
Katrinity had this to say about the Spice Girls:
Greetings! <hands Dspot a cookie> Be merry!
When Kat gives you a cookie you know that you have been accepted! Welcome!
quote:
Mr. Crabs had this to say about Optimus Prime:
When Kat gives you a cookie you know that you have been accepted! Welcome!
I give a cookie to everyone! ^.^
<hands Mr. Crabs a delicious seaweed cookie>
I love French wine, like I the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.
quote:
Tarquinn wrote this stupid crap:
Alright Ms. 'Lets reply with cookies'
Cookies are eternal. The Matrix is just a fad! ^.^
quote:
The Bible, Genesis, Katrinity verison 1.0:
3 And God said, Let there be cookies: and there were cookies.4 And God saw the cookies, that they were good: and God divided the soft from the hard.
5 And God called the soft ones Muffins, and the harder, brittle ones he called Cookies. And the evening and the morning were the first day, and they were celebrated with baked goods.
[ 11-10-2003: Message edited by: Tarquinn ]
quote:
Drysart's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
Welcome. We run a pretty tight ship here, so work on your capitalization and punctuation or else nobody's going to care what you have to say.
I dont plan to care anyway.
Oh, and Tarquinn.. I just double checked, and he said ASS, not Arse, you homo. [ 11-10-2003: Message edited by: Jake the Reaper ]
I love French cuisine. I love French history. I love the French land. I do enjoy French wine.
The only problem is that it's crawling with French people.
quote:
Jake the Reaper impressed everyone with:
Oh, and Tarquinn.. I just double checked, and he said ASS, not Arse, you homo.
Blame www.imdb.com, you fag. 
quote:
Tarquinn was naked while typing this:
HiyaI love French wine, like I the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.
"Name of god of whores of brothel of shit of sluttiness of jerk of asshole of your mom?"
What the fuck, guys.
quote:
Arttemis had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
"Name of god of whores of brothel of shit of sluttiness of jerk of asshole of your mom?"What the fuck, guys.
ur mom olololoololol
quote:
Ford Prefect had this to say about Tron:
Your grammar looks better already, though you appear to have misspelled 'G-spot'.Welcome to
.
For one reason or another, most people dont get that joke.I'm just glad to see that i wont have to explain what the name means again
quote:Perhaps because the name Despot is usually taken
Dspot needs to hitch a ride with a Vogon constructor fleet.
For one reason or another, most people dont get that joke.I'm just glad to see that i wont have to explain what the name means again
Now you need an avatar. Preferably something interesting, unique, and generally reflective of your personality, in that order of priority.
<== That is an avatar, in case you didn't figure it out.
quote:Don't worry man, we're taking care of his avatar problem. He's picky, so it's gonna take a bit.
Ford Prefect wrote this crap. Can you believe it? Jesus.
Perhaps because the name Despot is usually taken
Now you need an avatar. Preferably something interesting, unique, and generally reflective of your personality, in that order of priority.
<== That is an avatar, in case you didn't figure it out.
As for his name, it's a reference to the cartoon series Clone High.
quote:
From the book of Ford Prefect, chapter 3, verse 16:
Now you need an avatar. Preferably something interesting, unique, and generally reflective of your personality, in that order of priority.
<== That is an avatar, in case you didn't figure it out.
As you hopefully can see, I figured out the whole avatar thing
quote:
ACES! Another post by Black:
Don't worry man, we're taking care of his avatar problem. He's picky, so it's gonna take a bit.As for his name, it's a reference to the cartoon series Clone High.
Ghandi rocks the G-spot.
quote:
Liam had this to say about dark elf butts:
Ghandi rocks the G-spot.
Yes. I do.
My real name.
[ 11-10-2003: Message edited by: Zeke the Final Fencer ]
quote:
Zeke the Final Fencer's fortune cookie read:
Quite possibly the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
God I love this place.
Welcome aboard Dspot.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Zeke the Final Fencer was all like:
My eyes, they burn!
quote:
Dspot had this to say about Captain Planet:
Quite possibly the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
I take it you havent lurked here then?
Someone wanna show him tubgirl?
[ 11-10-2003: Message edited by: Dspot ]
quote:
Vorbis had this to say about Punky Brewster:
How do you have sex with a goose, you guys?
With great difficulty.
quote:
Mr. Parcelan had this to say about Tron:
With great difficulty.
They keep dying on me. 
quote:
How.... Vorbis.... uughhhhhh:
How do you have sex with a goose, you guys?
Sex Guide -- How to Geese
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WARNING
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DO NOT attempt to penetrate a goose! You WILL kill it! The tissue inside is very delicate and can rupture easily without you even noticing!
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ACCESS
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Geese are very cheap and can be bought for 20 dollars full grown. You will want the biggest and most aggressive geese you can buy. Sex is determined by a process called "vent sexing". IE, you grab the base of the tail and squeeze. If it is a male, you will cause the penis to pop out. If it is a female, you will get her to expose the egg laying vent. Geese can be obtained anywhere. The local newspapers are an excellent source.
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BEHAVIOR
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Let the goose get to know you. Males are rather dominate, so let them dominate you. The idea is not to have him backing down, hissing at you. Get to know the goose first. Once he trusts you, and your good friends, you can do other activities with him!
A few important facts are:
MOUNTING
A goose MUST be able to mount and grab something with its mouth in order to become sexually excited. They don't care what they mount, so long as they can dig in with their feet and grab something with their mouth.
TAIL
A goose cannot orgasm if its tail is not able to bend down.
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HOW TO DO!
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You will most likely want two male geese. A goose will mount anything when it is horny. I have had my geese mount other males and even chickens. So long as they can mount it, and grab a neck, they will climax. By having two males, you can swap one off on the other!
Let me clear up one thing first. From the guys, I am constantly asked "how do you get it in?" Well, YOU DON'T! You can seriously injure a goose if you penetrate it. The tissue inside is very thin and if it ruptures, the goose will die within 24 hours. I know from first hand experience. Due to society and their fucking prejudices against zoophiles, fact files like this were not vailable. I ended up killing an animal out of pure ignorance. Don't let this happen to you! It really hurts to loose a lover like that. Anyway, you are going to have to have "outercourse". This pretty much means you will have to do your thing, while you please the goose. It's tempting, but PLEASE, don't attempt to have intercourse with a goose.
STEP ONE
Lay down a bunch of old towels or better yet, an old blanket in the area you want to have sex in. I am certain you have heard the phrase "like s**t out of a goose!", well, it is true! Geese will go and go and go, and when you think they are finally done, they go some more!
The bathroom is perfect. You need a place that is quiet and well lit. Geese do not have sex in the dark and can be come distracted by outside noises. Lay down completely naked with them, and let them get used to you. Next, grab the mountee (other goose or chicken) and hold him gently. If you make it obvious, the goose will recognize what is going on, and will walk over immediately and attempt to mount the mountee.
STEP TWO
The rest of this file will assume Male geese since there is not much that can be done with a female without hurting her.
Let the goose climb up and settle in. Once the goose grabs the mountee's head and does a few test jerks to make certain he is well situated, sex will begin. At this time, you need to immediately get under his tail, and place your mouth over his opening. Try not to disturb him. If he lets go and just sits there, this means he is nervous and he may not continue.
STEP THREE
The goose will quickly bend his tail down and will hopefully be pushing directly into your mouth. -- BE CAREFUL!!-- When the goose orgasms, the penis will shoot out under a fair amount of pressure. During my learning process, the first time this happened, he moved and I got ejaculate shot up my nose. The second time, I got it shot down my throat and it caused me to choke! (yes, I did enjoy choking on it!)
The goal here, is to position yourself so that he will shoot off into the side of your mouth and into your cheek. This can be difficult, since the goose will be rubbing and twisting his tail around. You must keep your mouth over the opening because you won't know when he will go off. Do NOT get excited and start pushing into his tail. If you get his tail too high, he cannot orgasm.
Sometimes, he will bend down, hold, and just will not go off. If this happens, you can quickly reach up and squeeze the base of the tail and help him go off.
This is NOT recommended, because you can cause him to go off prematurely. If he goes off too soon, he will orgasm, but you will not get any ejaculate.
If all goes well, you will get a quick gentle pop in the cheek. When this happens, you get a very tangy, tasty treat! Nothing is more glorious then hearing the trumpet of a goose when he orgasms! After he orgasms, he will start off with a slow, low pitch quiet scream, which will quickly get loud and raise in pitch. His whole body will shake, and he will rapidly shake his still folded wings. He will then let out 3 or 4 quick high to low pitched screams. Most geese will throw their head back when they orgasm. Others will continue to hold onto the mountee during the whole orgasm. Even if they fall off during the orgasm, they will continue to hold on! Either way, it is exciting and tasty!!
WRAP UP
Geese have a remarkable recovery rate. A horny goose can be ready to go again
Within 2 minutes of his last orgasm. You only get ejaculate once, unless he was still holding a little back from last time. But, he can still get more orgasms. I once had a goose go 5 rounds! Remember to keep his tail covered with your mouth at all times. When they orgasm, they spray ejaculate in all directions due to the cork screw shape. It starts immediately as it pops out, and continues until fully extended. Here is to hoping you and your goose have a lot of fun, warm nights!
quote:
KaLourin wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
tell me you found that and didnt write it yourself..
Im not a liar
you damn dirty goosefucker you!! Here, have some more sauce.
quote:
KaLourin had this to say about Punky Brewster:
So with that admission, I'm to believe you wrote that?you damn dirty goosefucker you!! Here, have some more sauce.
Im all about the tasty treats
(I feel ill typing this garbage)
quote:
KaLourin stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
So with that admission, I'm to believe you wrote that?you damn dirty goosefucker you!! Here, have some more sauce.
he's also the reciever.
.
