So!
Any of the resident health nuts have any diet suggestions that have worked for them? Speak in as few words as possible, too, for I don't even know what the fuck a calorie or carbohydrate are.
[ 04-06-2003: Message edited by: Gadani Beatum`Stik ]
(I'm NOT anorexic)
Steer clear of pasta and potatoes.
What's this for?
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Iron Parcelan stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
What's this for?
Career change.
I SHALL SAY NO MORE.
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Frog painfully thought these words up:
Career change.I SHALL SAY NO MORE.
Nobody's going to hire you as a male stripper.
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Iron Parcelan was listening to Cher while typing:
Nobody's going to hire you as a male stripper.
Fuck, nevermind. Delete the thread.
If you want to lose a beer belly, crunches work well. They are stip-ups, but you only raise your shoulders up about a few inches off the ground. Butterflies rock. Lie down on the ground, feet together, and lift your legs (making sure they are straight) 6-12 inches off the ground. You'll feel the burn on your abs in no time at all. Now lift your feet about two feet off the ground, and move your legs up and down, alternating in a scissor motion. Just the simple act of keeping your legs straight and in the air will put some serious burn and strain on your abdomen, as well as upper legs
It sounded cool but I wouldn't know about it, though. Ask CBTao.
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Maradon XP stopped staring at Deedlit long enough to write:
Also according to the Discovery channel you can lose twenty pounds in two weeks if you live in the Anarctic.
Yeah, that's because there's nothing to eat but penguin and ice 
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OtakuPenguin wrote this stupid crap:
Yummy 
One of the best things you can do is to become a compulsive label reader. If the numbers look too high to you, you're better off not buying it.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
I'm living proof that that particular diet works, I was fat, and now I'm 140lbs. People who whine about it not working either don't stick to it (it takes at least two weeks to see the result), or have weak wills and snack between the shakes.
It's all about willpower.
Exercise, exercise, exercise, and dont go overboard on any one type of food.
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Falaanla Marr Model 2000 was programmed to say:
There is no magic pill to losing weight.Exercise, exercise, exercise, and dont go overboard on any one type of food.
It all depends on what kind of exercise you do. Muscle toning won't do anything for your weight, other than maybe increase it through muscle mass. Cardiovascular exercises (running, biking, anything that gets your heart pumping for a length of time) are the best for overall health and weight loss, I believe.
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Baron Von Mortay had this to say about Tron:
It all depends on what kind of exercise you do. Muscle toning won't do anything for your weight, other than maybe increase it through muscle mass. Cardiovascular exercises (running, biking, anything that gets your heart pumping for a length of time) are the best for overall health and weight loss, I believe.
Ah, you've hit upon the important question that usually ends up being begged: do you want to lose weight, or decrease your dimensions?
Fat weighs quite a bit less than muscle, so if you just want to be a piece of spaghetti, then do the diet thing.
If you want to be fit while being smaller than your current dimensions, combine a healthy diet (of surprisingly high calories), weight training, and aerobic exercise. The most efficient way to lose inches is to combine the weights with the aerobics, because adding muscle increases your bodies resting caloric requirement.
Bottom line: use a tape measure to gauge your process, rather than a scale.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Josh and I are going back on it again! We can do it together [ 04-07-2003: Message edited by: The Nae (tm) ]
Anyway, find a library and look through the last couple of months of Muscle & Fitness magazine--they posted a pretty good beginning workout over several issues.
The key is to figure your desired bodyweight and eat that many calories, plus however many you burn while working out. Heavy on the protein, low fat, moderate carbs. You want to do a short aerobic session prior to lifting, and you don't want to lift too much or too often at first.
I'll look through my stuff that I brought with me, and see if I have any beginner stuff.
There's a fine line between not working hard enough and being cautious when you first start. You don't want to hurt yourself, but you will feel bad for a bit if you're not used to working out.
For weights: do one complete body workout three times a week. You want to do compound movements with light weight and medium reps (squats/bench press/etc) rather than isolation moves. Have someone at the gym show you how to do each move properly, and use perfect form every time. Perfect form is the goal, not how much you lift.
For aerobics: the elliptical trainers are a great, low-impact exercise. Do about 15 minutes on one prior to lifting, and do 20-30 minutes on days you don't lift.
Take two consecutive days off each week, to start. Overtraining is your enemy, and will lead to injury if you don't ease into things.
Finally, don't be in a hurry. I know you said you wanted to lose weight quickly, but that's dangerous if you're looking to lose that much. Losing 50 pounds should take the better part of a year. The good news, though, is that you can see great progress in about two months. You'll feel better in about 4 weeks, too.
I'll see if my wife still has the files for the beginner workout I posted before. Maybe she can IRC them or mail them to someone.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
I just don't know anything about dieting.
Don't lose more than about 3 pounds a week, unless you're willing to take the risk of messing your health up. I mean, you could lose a good 10 pounds a week if you go all out, but it might be difficult to maintain. Just remember, lose more calories than you consume. Drink lots of water to give yourself a synthetic "full" feeling. I learned this very important information from Oprah.
Oh yeah, and listen to Parcelan [ 04-07-2003: Message edited by: Fazum'Zen Fastfist ]
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
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Verily, Fazum'Zen Fastfist doth proclaim:
If you really get pumped, try running to work.
Fuck you, I work a forty minute drive from my house.
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Frog had this to say about Robocop:
The work out side is pretty much covered. I took three years of Weight Training in High School and know my way around a gym.I just don't know anything about dieting.
Oh, that's not bad, then.
All you need to do is figure out what weight you want to be, then calculate however many calories/day maintains that, add extra for your workouts, and start the exercises. 
You want high protein, very low fat, and moderate-low carbs. Eat small meals often, rather than two or three large ones. Frankly, it's better to snack constantly on healthy stuff, than to sit down to a huge buffet o' healthy food.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001
"How can you ever hope to know the Beloved
Without becoming in every cell the Lover?
And when you are the Lover at last, you don't care.
Whatever you know or don't - only Love is real."
Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. - Dark Helmet
Mmmmmmm, chlorine fresh.
In short, you don't eat bad shit.
Things you're strongly encouraged to eat:
Water, skim milk, a little fruit juice instead of pop, whole milk and other junk food drinks.
Sandwitches with whole wheat bread and a variety of good fods, instead of a burger, or some chicken pieces, and some fries.
Apples, carrots, wheat thins, (good food) instead of cookies, chips, and all the other snack type stuff.
For everything you eat, just ask yourself "what would mom want me to eat instead?"
Yes, you can have a burger and fries any time you like, but it's not as good for you as one of those subway 6 grams of fat sandwitches.
In short, cut out the crud, and eat like your mother would feed you, all the time. It's worked wonders for Vorago (he's lost a lot of weight, he's one sexy beast now...)
No, Really. Bite me.
Buy Slimfast and TV Dinners. the little ones. You drink slimfast for breakfest, so you don't snack, eat a TV Dinner for lunch, and have tortilla chips with salsa and cheese for dinner, or something somewhat healthy. A normal dinner isn't a bad idea. It's about a 1,200 calorie a day diet. Drink lots of water too. Just make sure you don't eat 2 hours before going to bed, because that just turns right into fat when you do that.
"How can you ever hope to know the Beloved
Without becoming in every cell the Lover?
And when you are the Lover at last, you don't care.
Whatever you know or don't - only Love is real."
Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. - Dark Helmet
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Mr. Crabs attempted to be funny by writing:
Give Atkins a chance! My parents and brother are on it and its working for them.
"Working" is the key word. As I understand it, the moment you revert back to a normal diet you'll regain pretty much all of the weight you lost.
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Sergeant Blindy had this to say about Pirotess:
No fast food. here's how you get around itBuy Slimfast and TV Dinners. the little ones. You drink slimfast for breakfest, so you don't snack, eat a TV Dinner for lunch, and have tortilla chips with salsa and cheese for dinner, or something somewhat healthy. A normal dinner isn't a bad idea. It's about a 1,200 calorie a day diet. Drink lots of water too. Just make sure you don't eat 2 hours before going to bed, because that just turns right into fat when you do that.
you're kidding right? you know how much sodium and preservatives are in TV dinners? If anything, you want to keep dinner down to a minimum. Unless you plan to work out after dinner and before bed, thats when your body will see the least amount of activity.. and fat just loooooooooooves that.
That or try weight watchers.
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LeMiere had this to say about the Spice Girls:
That or try weight watchers.
That's for people who don't know how to cook and have a lot of money to waste.
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We were all impressed when JooJooFlop wrote:
"Working" is the key word. As I understand it, the moment you revert back to a normal diet you'll regain pretty much all of the weight you lost.
From my understanding you never "revert back to a normal diet." While you gradually add carbohydrates back in, you still have to stay away from certain foods. Technically, the Atkins Diet is not a diet, it is a life plan.
