THEODELPH: These flowers have always grown on the tombs of my ancestors. Now it shall cover the grave of my son. Now who can I make mow the lawn or bring me beers?
KARNALF: He was pretty strong in life. I mean, lifting fridges! Hell find his way to Valhal.. er, wrong mythology
hell find his own little piece of the pie.
[Azymyth and Rhiannah ride up onto a hill nearby. Rhiannah smiles all cutesey and Azymyth falls off the horse. We shift the scene back inside of Edorkas and inside the Hall. The two children are eating under the care of Addywyn while Meepy dances for their amusement on the table.]
ADDYWYN: They had no warning and they were unarmed. Now the Delidgumen are moving through west, doing unmentionable things to everyone and everything they come across.
RHIANNAH Where's momma?
KARNALF: I can tell you where your momma is. Shes .
ADDYWYN: Shush, Karnalf!
KARNALF: Theodelph! You must fight Parcuman. Be a man! Lead him away from the women and children like a true Paladin. No more whiney jibber jabber. Back up your claims.
UKKAGORN: Mightomer & two tousand are ridhing north. His men will return and fight for there king.
THEODELPH: Mightomer cannot help us. They have to be a million miles away by now.. and puns dont kill orcs. Theyre too stupid to be harmed by them. I know what is that you want of me, but I cannot go to war and further lose people that actually respect me. Its good to be da king!
UKKAGORN: War comes to you wether you not want it or do
THEODELPH: When last I looked, Theodelph, not Ukkagorn, was king of RPCrest. [Theodelph sucks in his gut, puffs out his chest, and preens.]
KARNALF: Then what is the king's decision?
[Cut to Exterior: Liama moves among the people of RPCrest, an intent look on his face..]
LIAMA: [to himself] This my big part.. I get to say stuff. I am in command. Im the man! I can do this, I can DO this!
[Liama clears his throat as he reaches a good centralized area of town and begins to speak in a loud voice.]
LIAMA: By order of the king, the city must be emptied. Were going to Caps Pit! Wait, no, thats wrong. Were going to Hoods Cave! Crap.. no.. damnit, I know this one! Were going to Hats Lodging! Argh! No.. its uhm..
[Another guard steps up beside Liama and starts to shout to the people.]
GOMATEAUX: Were going to Helms Deep! Do not burden yourself with baubles; take only what you need.
LIAMA: You stole my thunder, you bastard! Ill kill you!
GOMATEAUX: Gah!
[Liama lunges and tackles Gomateaux in a head lock. They roll around in the dirt while the peasants start echanging bets. Well move back to important people again now.]
GYDLI: Helm's Deep! The people run away from Delidgumen when they should fight!. Who is gonna defend them if Theodelph isnt going to?
UKKAGORN: Everytime they get in trouble, they run for Helms Deep and they are defended and protected. Theodelph knows this and thinks it is the best way to protect those people. Besides, its got all kinds of neat outcroppings and stairs and such. Its the perfect spot for a huge battle where lots of things get to die.
KARNALF: Hes got a point. Plus Ill get to save the day as usual. God, I am SUCH a bad ass. Hey, Ill go get Mightomer and return in the nick of time. You think you can help them keep the defenses held while Im gone, Ukkagorn? Dont let Theodelph die yet!
UKKAGORN: They will be held no matter how much fighthing we do.
KARNALF:: Good luck then. Youll need it! Ill find the punmaster and return, like I said, when you need me the most. Ill even come from the East as soon as you see sunlight dawn over those mountains on the hmm fifth day!
UKKAGORN: Go. Bastard.
[Karnalf exits on Chibifaxdragon at a great speed.]
[Addywyn opens a chest to reveal a sword. She swings it around and is parried by Ukkagorn.]
UKKAGORN: You look like you handle lot of swords befor, madam.
ADDYWYN: Excuse me?.
UKKAGORN: I think I may had word that wrong..
ADDYWYN: Yeah, I think you did. Women here fight just as well or better than the men.. trust me I will not be caged like a bird!
[Meepy sqawks angrily.]
ADDYWYN: Er, not thats necessarily a BAD thing. [She pets Meepy on the head.]
UKKAGORN: You are dauhter of kings. A sheldmaden of RPCrest. I not think that will be your fate.
[Meanwhile, at #isengard:]
GRIMZA: Theodelph will not stay at Edorkas. It is vulnerable. He knows this. He will expect an attack on the city. They will flee to Helm's Deep, the great fortress of RPCrest. It is a dangerous road to take through the mountains. It will be slow. They will have women and children with them. Lots of women women that rebuked me! Lets kill them, Master!
[Parcuman walks through the depths of #isengard. He approaches an Orc thats sharpening something.]
PARCUMAN: Send out your Wargadil riders.
*cry's the tears*
Good stuff Bajah, Good stuff ...
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a Sexy Heroic wanabe King!
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
"How can you ever hope to know the Beloved
Without becoming in every cell the Lover?
And when you are the Lover at last, you don't care.
Whatever you know or don't - only Love is real."
Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. - Dark Helmet
quote:
Sauron painfully thought these words up:
RHIANNAH Where's momma?KARNALF: I can tell you where your momma is. Shes .
ADDYWYN: Shush, Karnalf!
LOLupo...keep up the good workupo! ^^
Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop
But I haven't.
Lol!
This thread keeps me checking through every day. =)
quote:
Abbikat had this to say about John Romero:
STICKY!!! STICKY!!!!
...o_O;
"How can you ever hope to know the Beloved
Without becoming in every cell the Lover?
And when you are the Lover at last, you don't care.
Whatever you know or don't - only Love is real."
Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. - Dark Helmet
I'll get back on it, I promise!
oh yeah.
[ 04-18-2003: Message edited by: Abbikat ]
Page 3??? omgomgomgomgomg!!
quote:
Star Collective stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
MORE!
I didn't read this earlier, because I only had my computer at work.
But now that I'm home. . .I give it a "5," three wavy snaps, and a smiling kangaroo for good measure!
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
BUNP!!!!
uh...
BMUPP!!!
OH FORGET IT!!!
bump.
you know you want this thread to live.
*mysterious handwave thingy*
More!!! More!!!!
Page 5??? omgomgomgomgomg!!
[Terenum is still leading Chalwise and Vorbo, only through a forest now. Dont blame me, I didnt make the landscape. Its perfectly logical to go from a death-infested swamp to a forest teeming with life.]
CHALWISE: Hey asshat, dont get too far ahead now!
VORBO: Why do you do that?
CHALWISE: What?
VORBO: Call him names and run him down all the time. I thought you were all kind and pacifistic.
CHALWISE: Because I know hes gonna turn on you for the Ring. Hes full of it.
VORBO: You cannot know what the Ring has done to him.. or what it is still doing to him. I want to help!
CHALWISE: Why?
VORBO: Because I have to believe theres some good in him. Plus, thats what happened in the books and what the script says. Itd be kind of boring otherwise.
CHALWISE: You can't save him, Mr. Vorbo.
[Vorbo snarls and looks at Chalwise with an almost feral look in his eyes.]
VORBO: What do you know about it? Nothing!
[Hurt, Chalwise walks past Vorbo.]
VORBO: [Apologetically]: I'm sorry Chalwise. I don't know why I said that.
CHALWISE: I do. It's the Ring. You can't take your eyes off it. I've seen you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's taking a hold of you Mr Vorbo. You have to fight it! You havent been like this since you saw that picture of of freshly shaved sheep, though I still dont understand that one
VORBO: [Resentfully]: I know what I have to do Chalwise. The Ring was entrusted to ME! It's my task! Mine! My own!
CHALWISE: Can't you hear yourself? Don't you know who you sound like?
[Terenum is off by himself at night.]
TERENUM: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the Preciousss. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, falssse!
KHYGOL: No! No! Master! He has candy!
TERENUM: Yess. Preciousss first. They will cheat you, hurt you, lie! Trick you, keep the Preciousss!
KHYGOL: Master's my friend. Mmm, candy!
TERENUM: You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you. Why dont you eat a worm?
KHYGOL: Not listening. Not listening. Doot doot doot. Weeeoooweeeoooweeoooo. Not listening!
TERENUM: You´re a liar. Liar liar pants on fire.
KHYGOL: No.
TERENUM: Murderer!
KHYGOL: Go away.
TERENUM: Go away?! Ahahhaa!
KHYGOL: I hate you, I hate you. You smell like old socks.
TERENUM: Where would you be without me? terenum. terenum. I saved us. It was me. We survived because of me.
KHYGOL: Not anymore.
TERENUM: What did you say?
KHYGOL: Master looks after us now. We don't need you. He even promised us DDR!
TERENUM: What?
KHYGOL: Leave now and never come back.
TERENUM: No!
KHYGOL: Leave now and never come back!
TERENUM: Ahh!
KHYGOL: LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
[Silence]
KHYGOL: We told him to go away! And away he goes, preciousss. Gone, gone, gone, Khygol is free! [Khygol dances around in a circle, looking forward to his DDR and boy, does he suck at it.]
[The next day Khygol comes back with two rabbits and puts them to Vorbo's lap.]
KHYGOL: Look! Look! See what Khygol finds! Ehehe! Hohohhooo! They are young! They are tender and nice like Japanese schoolgirls. Yes they are! Eat them. Eat them.
CHALWISE: Youll make us sick, behaving like that. There's only one way to cook up some rabbits.
[Chalwise cooks the rabbits in a pot.]
KHYGOL: Argh!! What's he doing! Stupid fat hobbit. You ruins it! Red meat is good for you!
CHALWISE: What's to ruin? There's hardly any meat on them. What we need it a few good taters.. and some cheese.. and sour cream some butter.. mmmmm.
KHYGOL: What's taters? Preciousss, what's taters? Huh? Eat them raw?!
CHALWISE: Po-ta-toes!! Boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew. Even fried, they make great French Freedom Fries.. then a nice side of fried fish to go with it...
KHYGOL: Phooh!
CHALWISE: Even you couldn't say no to that.
KHYGOL: Oh yes we could. Ssspoiling nice fish! Give it to ussss raw. and wwwriggling. You keep nasty chips! Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads! Fish heads, fish heads, eat em up, yum!
CHALWISE: You're hopeless. [Suddenly noticing his master's absense.] Mr Vorbo?
[The scene shifts to Vorbo peering over a ledge, where he sees an army of the Furry soldiers marching nearby.]
CHALWISE: Who are they?
KHYGOL: Wicked men and women, servants of Maurodon. They acts and dresses like animals, freaks of nature, they are. They are called to Mordork. The Dark One is gathering all armies to him. It won't be long now. He will soon be ready.
CHALWISE: Ready to do what?
KHYGOL: To make His war. The last war that will cover all the world in shadow. And thats not a good thing, let us tell you!
VORBO: We've got to keep moving. C'mon Chalwise.
[Chalwise spies a large, fat, grey animal with a long trunk and tusks walkin amidst the army. This thing is HUGE.. like 4 elephants all in one. Jurassic Park had nothing on this.]
CHALWISE: Mr. Vorbo! Look! It's an Oliphant! No one at home will believe this.
[Khygol sneaks away.]
VORBO: Khygol?
[Chaos breaks out when the Furries are attacked from the bushes. Arrowed! Furries and Hidden Archers dont mix well. Many many furries die. A pale blonde elf in a green robe seems to be making his way through the dead, placing their heads on spikes. In the meanwhile, an Oliphant on a rampage tears its way towards Vorbo and Chalwise, veering off just in time as an arrow knocks the driver off at the hobbits feet.]
VORBO: We've lingered here for too long. C'mon Chalwise!
[Vorbo and Chalwise turn to run away and are stopped cold by a few human men, one of which appears to be their leader.]
CHALWISE: Augh!
BATAMIR: Bind their hands.
[Arms bound behind them, the two hobbits turn around and bend over. The human men look at each other in confusion. Batamir raises an eyebrow and moves his mouth like he wants to say something, but no words come out.]
CHALWISE: We know how this capture thing works. Can you just get this bondage thing out of the way so we can get back on our way?
BATAMIR: WTF. BlackBorn, bring them along.
[Batamirs leuitenant , clad in a loose tunic that almost resembles a robe, with a large wicker hat hiding his facial features steps forward.]
BLACKBORN: You sure we cant...
BATAMIR: BlackBorn
BLACKBORN: Blah, all right. Come along, short stubby fellows, lest I stabbity.
(and I still didn't make it)
quote:
Katrinity stopped staring at Deedlit long enough to write:
Why all the hate for the Furries?
It's not over yet!
love those old references yo. fish heads, worm eating..
