quote:
Latest Darwin Award Nominee from the Orlando Sentinel.Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome,
Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball
washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that
beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed
to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the
machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped
the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with
Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his
threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer
was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles
are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.
Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one
testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball
washer, while the other testicle was compressed and
flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer,
and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury,
Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased
from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez
was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining
two members of the threesome were asked to leave the course.If only he had died he could be a Darwin WINNER!
At least this mental giant has removed himself from the gene
pool, because he can no longer reproduce. "He IS the
weakest link!"
O_o
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Thats just... disturbing...
Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001
quote:
Gydyon Waterlapper had this to say:
Thanks. I can't walk now.
/agree 
Sweet mother of ghandi
I have the second edition book that has all of those, its pretty funny.
cringes, holding his legs together tightly
But, technically, he is elligible for a Darwin... you don't have to die to get the Darwin, you just need to remove yourself from the gene pool, which this guy most certainly did...
I'm gonna go smack my head into the wall until I forget this, now...
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
quote:
Bloodsage had this to say about John Romero:
You know, I can't even feel sympathy pain for anyone that stupid . . . .
Agreed. O_o
..and yet...
Ouch. Sucks tae be him.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
quote:I concur.
Bloodsage had this to say about Captain Planet:
You know, I can't even feel sympathy pain for anyone that stupid . . . .
quote:
Bloodsage had this to say about John Romero:
Hehe, but I think that only works if you do it before puberty.
Yeah I forgot about that part.
quote:
Gydyon Waterlapper had this to say about pies:
Thanks. I can't walk now.
/nod
*loses his footing as he attempts to stand [ 02-01-2002: Message edited by: Kegwen Tabibito ]
In the beginning the Universe was created.Douglas Adams, 1952-2001
Also, what's he going to say to the "friend" that turned the crank on him when he gets out of the hospital? Somehow, I get the feeling "Thanks" isn't gonna be exactally the word he uses.
quote:
Freschel Spindrift had this to say about Captain Planet:
Hey at least he can sing soprano, or is it castrato.
He'll also grow boobies, which isnt a bad thing at all.
quote:
greykittytwilight had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
I think its funny as hell....and yet...
Ouch. Sucks tae be him.
And yet you wanted to do that to me?
Uuurgh...
Now... I know how... How my cat felt... When he was neutered.
quote:
Ruvyen Warblade wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Oh... God...Uuurgh...
Now... I know how... How my cat felt... When he was neutered.
You had your balls ripped off?
quote:
We were all impressed when First Dragon wrote:
You had your balls ripped off?
*THWAP!*
No... But... G'uh... Sympathy pain...
The stuff described in the article... Is kind of... What happens... When a pet is neutered.
(A warning to any who have not eaten yet. You have been warned.)
They... Ah... Well, to put it bluntly... They open up the ballzack and pull 'em out.
(I WARNED YOU!)
WARNING - DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE EATING, HAVE BEEN EATING, OR EVER PLAN ON EATING AGAIN. AH, SCREW IT. JUST DON'T READ THIS STORY. YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED.
quote:
Drakkenmaw impressed everyone with:
I was eating WHILE I read that. Didn't bother me. You know why? I read the Mud Shrimp story there.WARNING - DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE EATING, HAVE BEEN EATING, OR EVER PLAN ON EATING AGAIN. AH, SCREW IT. JUST DON'T READ THIS STORY. YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED.
I hate you.
I really hate you.
Did I mention that I hate you?
quote:
Drakkenmaw wrote this stupid crap:
I was eating WHILE I read that. Didn't bother me. You know why? I read the Mud Shrimp story there.WARNING - DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE EATING, HAVE BEEN EATING, OR EVER PLAN ON EATING AGAIN. AH, SCREW IT. JUST DON'T READ THIS STORY. YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED.
That story made me laugh. 
Masochist.
quote:
Drakkenmaw had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
I was eating WHILE I read that. Didn't bother me. You know why? I read the Mud Shrimp story there.WARNING - DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE EATING, HAVE BEEN EATING, OR EVER PLAN ON EATING AGAIN. AH, SCREW IT. JUST DON'T READ THIS STORY. YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED.
EWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
