I'd like to contribute one thing that'll help take the edge off text messages, though: don't use second person pronouns when making general statements!
That's not meant to rag anyone, but as a constructive contribution.
The thing with using second person--"you"--is that it automatically makes what one is saying personal. It narrows the target of the statement to two: the writer, and the current reader. Couple that with a stern message, and it's a recipe for conflict.
There are two approaches to avoid using second person. The first is to use third person, which makes the message impersonal. Instead of, "You shouldn't do that," simply say, "One shouldn't do that." The drawback to this method is that it's less common these days, and so harder to pull off, and it can seem overly formal, which some people interpret as, "look at me: I'm superior!" and get offended anyway.
The other way to avoid using second person pronouns is to use first person. Give the reader your message in terms of your reactions and your actions. It's hard to be offended when someone says, "I don't want to be involved in flame wars, so I've adopted a new approach . . . ." It's like the old joke about going to the shrink on behalf of a "friend"--it gets the point across to those who need it, but without putting them on the defensive in the process.
Yeah, I know no one appreciates grammar Nazis, but it's pretty amazing how many arguments could be avoided through the simple expedient of saying what one means in the manner one intends.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
quote:
Elvish Crack Piper had this to say about Robocop:
We could perma-bump it, except if we perma-pump too much then where will the new stuff go?
Page 2? 
I'm just pointing this out because Fae = Should be common sense.
Though there is great information here, that people obviously spent a good amount of time thinking about, the majority of the posters who read it won't take it to heart.
Possibly, within 1 month, 75% or more of us will have forgotten this thread. It's a shame, too. 
Anyways, great post, as these times call for.
This forum has a vicious cycle.
