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Author
Topic: Sex!
Azakias
Never wore the pants, thus still wields the power of unused (_|_)
posted 10-13-2005 03:16:47 AM
I just had this opinion question brought up to me.

Is sex something that should only occur between people in a relationship (married, dating, etc)?

Is sex an expression of love or something completely seperate?

Is putting limits on sex life (ie, not having sex with anyone but your s/o) really cheating yourself?

(We talk about really weird shit on night shift)

Personally, I am of the belief that sex is an expression of what I feel, and as such, only occurs with who I am dating. Limits on the sex life of myself and partner are strict by today's standards: if he has sex with someone other than me, he can consider himself single.

"Age by age have men stood up and said to the world, 'From what has come before me, I was forged, but I am new and greater than my forebears.' And so each man walks the world in ruin, abandoned and untried. Less than the whole of his being"
Alidane
Urinary Tract Infection
posted 10-13-2005 03:20:32 AM
Sex is what you make of it.
Maradon!
posted 10-13-2005 03:26:28 AM
quote:
Alidaneing:
Sex is what you make of it.

Pretty much.

Although I'd almost say that sex is invariably meaningful to women, I have seen examples to the contrary.

Father McKenzie
Pancake
posted 10-13-2005 03:29:29 AM
Different strokes for different folks, really.

I doubt any two people feel the same about it or that there's even anything close to a "general consensus"

Nicole
The hip-hop-happiest bunny in all of marshmallow woods
posted 10-13-2005 06:27:03 AM
Sex is sex. It's present. Like everything else ever, it's the meaning we attatch to it that makes it important (or not so, if that's your bag of cookies).

I've always veiwed it as a casual thing - it CAN be an expression of love, but so can grilled cheese sandwiches (an actual expression of love in my relationship; fear for me). Because I'm horny/pretty uncaring about sex, I believe in open relationships (they can work, though you NEED to be honest and demand the same), but also know they aren't for everyone and there are people who might want to be posessive with my boobies (god knows why).



I just spent
my last cent
purchasing this poverty.

Cavalier-
Pancake
posted 10-13-2005 08:10:46 AM
Mod
Pancake
posted 10-13-2005 09:21:20 AM
I have absolutely zero desire to engage in swinging, open relationships and god knows what else, so many people probably consider me a prude from that angle. I don't consider every single sexual act an expression of anything though, often it's just something to do for mutual enjoyment.

Those things are issues of personal preference and not morality though (as long as everything is honest and consentual), if someone wants to orient their sex life by the phases of the moon, rotate partners between even and odd months, spend every saturday as the centerpiece of a bukkake gangbang or share their wife with all their friends it's purely their own business.

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
Lechium
With no one to ever know
posted 10-13-2005 09:31:56 AM
I consider sex with my girlfriend something special between the two of us, and we both agree that it should happen in a relationship with one person. I really don't think a monogamous relationship is cheating yourself when you are loyal to someone you are already wtih, and promised to be like that with them. Call me old fasioned, but I always have my loyalty to my girlfriend and only her especially if we were to ever get married one day.
"The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 10-13-2005 09:38:28 AM
Luke: What's in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you.
Azizza
VANDERSHANKED
posted 10-13-2005 10:35:18 AM
At it's core sex is just sex. It is no different for humans than it is for a dog, a basic function of survival like breathing or taking a piss. However for whatever reason we have attached much more importance to sex than most other things. Perhaps there is something hard wired into many of us that causes us to become attached to sexual partners, or perhaps this is just a result of society and it's values being so ingrained into us that we can't escape them. I don't know. But the pure act of sex is just a basic thing we use to reproduce and feel pleasure.
"Pacifism is a privilege of the protected"
Mr. Gainsborough
posted 10-13-2005 11:05:02 AM
quote:
ACES! Another post by Azizza:
At it's core sex is just sex. It is no different for humans than it is for a dog, a basic function of survival like breathing or taking a piss.

thats hot

Bacon369
Pancake
posted 10-13-2005 11:15:06 AM
quote:
Azizza attempted to be funny by writing:
At it's core sex is just sex. It is no different for humans than it is for a dog, a basic function of survival like breathing or taking a piss. However for whatever reason we have attached much more importance to sex than most other things. Perhaps there is something hard wired into many of us that causes us to become attached to sexual partners, or perhaps this is just a result of society and it's values being so ingrained into us that we can't escape them. I don't know. But the pure act of sex is just a basic thing we use to reproduce and feel pleasure.

My opinion it is more a Social stigmata. Monogamy is not genetic (humans). Spreading "the seed" will always be a beast within.

"He who pays the piper calls the tune."
Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 10-13-2005 12:00:35 PM
I believe in monogamy... I'm a very jealous person...
Sean
posted 10-13-2005 12:02:24 PM
I think it depends on your current level of inebriation.
A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Yuri
posted 10-13-2005 12:03:17 PM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Mr. Gainsborough was all like:
thats hot

Can you make a post that actually contributes to the subject?

Anyways, on topic, I personally believe sex is what you and your partner agree it is. I, personally, am in a commited relationship and have been for 4 years and we have agreed to wait on having sex until we are married (which is whenever I can afford a good ring ect). I don't try to say that this is the *right* thing to do but, for my relationship, it is what we agreed on. I believe other couples have their own perogative to do whatever they want in regards to sex, and I believe all ways can work (be it open relationships, sex on the first date, ect).

It boils down to whatever you and your partner agree on is what works. Anything can, but there's probably only one that does for your specific relationship.

Mod
Pancake
posted 10-13-2005 12:24:18 PM
quote:
From the book of Monica, chapter 3, verse 16:
I believe in monogamy... I'm a very jealous person...

Let's find some more people and form a club. We can pool our money and rent a bowling alley to nervously pace around on when our s/os are out somewhere.

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
Mr. Gainsborough
posted 10-13-2005 12:29:14 PM
quote:
Yuri's fortune cookie read:
Can you make a post that actually contributes to the subject?

Nope.

Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 10-13-2005 12:34:30 PM
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Mod said:
Let's find some more people and form a club. We can pool our money and rent a bowling alley to nervously pace around on when our s/os are out somewhere.

Well I mean like... I'm not THAT bad... I would definitely say that I have that capacity, though.

I actually don't have a SO right now, but I am kinda-sorta seeing someone... and we have both agreed that we are not exclusive at this point, and we are just kind of seeing where things take us, getting to know each other, that sort of thing. BUT he was also upfront and admitted that there are a few other girls who have taken an interest in him as well. So when he is sending me text messages flirting with me all the time, I'm just kinda like "OMG is he saying that to her too!?"

And like... it's weird... I mean, I know I'm going to get him, but technically I haven't yet and that probably won't become official for a bit longer... so in the meantime I'm just fretting on whether or not he's this much of a flirt with his other "potential interests" as well and I just want to be like, "If you're not saying that stuff to me exclusively, then I don't want to hear it!!!!!!!"

Mr. Parcelan
posted 10-13-2005 02:12:55 PM
"Sex...it gives me great pleasure." -Winston Churchill
Reynar
Oldest Member
Best Lap
posted 10-13-2005 02:41:59 PM
A wise man once said: I think it depends on your current level of inebriation.
"Give me control of a nation's money, and I care not who makes its laws."
-Mayer Rothschild
Mightion Defensor
posted 10-13-2005 03:17:11 PM
I will only have sex with a woman if we are in a totally monogamous, mutually exclusive relationship .

Probably why I'm still a virgin at 34. :/

Bacon369
Pancake
posted 10-13-2005 03:21:57 PM
You can pay for a totally monogamous, mutually exclusive one night relationship .
"He who pays the piper calls the tune."
Mightion Defensor
posted 10-13-2005 03:34:22 PM
quote:
From the Book of Armaments, Bacon369 did read;
You can pay for a totally monogamous, mutually exclusive one night relationship .

I could go down to Chippewa street with a twenty dollar bill and a vial of penicillin if all I wanted was the sex.

Jajahotep
Vader to Deth's Obi-wan
posted 10-13-2005 07:12:18 PM
It all varies depending on the person. I have a friend who is in an open marriage and has been for over fifteen years and she and her husband are both very happy. I, personally, could never be comfortable in that situation.

I also would not be comfortable having sex just for the sake of having sex (as many people seem to be doing now) and changing partners more than you change your skivvies. If I am going to open myself up and show a vulnerable side of myself to someone, I want to know them well.

Densetsu
NOT DRYSART
posted 10-13-2005 07:30:28 PM
quote:
Azakias had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
Sex!

plz

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl, we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over?
BeauChan
Objects in sigpic may be hammier than they appear
posted 10-13-2005 11:09:04 PM
I find that I do create that emotional attachment with sex if I happen to be dating them at the time, but otherwise, it's fun and a good workout. I prefer the relationship though, it's not as if I'm running around in my skivvies screwing every guy I see - I happen to be extremely picky about who I sleep with.

and as for monogamy - if I'm in a relationship, then that is the only person I have eyes for, and to be honest, I expect the same. I'm kinda like monica, jealousy-wise.

I also have no significant other at the moment, but not for lack of trying.

sadf.

Endured by EC for over 7 years and counting...
New Age Bane
Waste Management Crisis
posted 10-14-2005 06:55:53 AM
Oh my sex, I used to think it was something other people did, though lately I've been a bit of a whore, I don't know I guess its whatever you make of it which seems to be what everyone agrees on. All I know is having anonymous sex is fun and all but theres no real meaning behind it, sometimes I wish there was but hey sex is fun.

What am I supposed to in here again? Oh yes something witty and oh so pretty!
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 10-14-2005 11:19:32 PM
Hmm...let's see...

Well let's start with the basics. Do you need sexual intercourse with another person? No. You can expunge the sexual desire with masturbation. Part of the stigma about being an X year old virgin lies with the fact that by adulthood, most people have had an experience so it's a common denominator. In some cultures (mostly old backwater social notions) you have to have sex to be an adult, but frankly that doesn't apply anymore.

Sex is one of those things where you shouldn't get into a relationship just to slake your lust. You have to be honest with yourself about sex, which is probably why a lot of people end up in bad shape with relationships. If you just want a safe, reliable sex partner, you can make that sort of arrangement these days. No emotional tangles, no mistakes about attachment. Clinginess, proprietary assumptions about another person, while occasionally charming, aren't healthy. There's a thin line between flirtatious possessiveness and serious possessiveness. Flirtatious is okay, but serious is not okay. It leads down a bad path.

On the flip side, can you have a longterm relationship without sex? yes. But to have a healthy relationship you have to know who you are and how you get by in life without the other person. You have to be able to function on your own. Which brings us back to point A. You have to accept the fact you can function without sexual intercourse with another person. You don't, in other words, rely on your relationship partner for sex. That's just healthy in general. It's not a good idea to be so obsessed with sex that someone controlling the flow of booty puts you in a bad position.

For instance: I'm not with Lyinar just because I'm a lech who's found his ideal form of eye candy. She does not hold sex over my head like a bone. Nor do I obsess over the idea of sex constantly. If I don't get my regular output level of sex, I know I can handle it myself if the urge arises.

The advantage of that sort of mentality is that you're not bringing your sexual hangups into the relationship. Sex is a part of a relationship. But it shouldn't be the lens by which the rest of the relationship is judged. If you and your SO are arguing over something unrelated to sex or the like, being pissed off because you're not getting enough orgasms isn't a good thing.

Of course, if you're angry because you're not getting off with your partner, that's a problem too. That's the other thing. You have to be able to be open with your partner(s). Some people frankly don't like doing the same things as others. Everyone, and I mean everyone has personal preferences. No exceptions. Some people like receiving oral. Some don't. Some love performing oral or getting banged in the bum. Some don't. Point being you have to be able to tell your partner when you do or do not think something in particular is working for you. I think people having sex who aren't ready to talk about sex are just hurting themselves. Especially people in relationships. You love and trust this person implicitly but you can't tell them you like getting it in the pooper now and then? Yeesh.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Sean
posted 10-14-2005 11:30:18 PM
You know that not a single person will read that, right?
A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 10-14-2005 11:45:54 PM
quote:
Sean startled the peaceful upland Gorillas by blurting:
You know that not a single person will read that, right?

Actually, it's got some pretty damned funny double-entendres, like this gem:

quote:
If I don't get my regular output level of sex, I know I can handle it myself if the urge arises.

I mean, how funny is, "If she won't give me sex, I'll handle it myself"?

To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Cavalier-
Pancake
posted 10-15-2005 03:29:10 AM
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Bloodsage said:
I mean, how funny is, "If she won't give me sex, I'll handle it myself"?

Comedy Gold.

Jackman
Racist Hermaphroditic Midget
posted 10-15-2005 03:39:55 AM
Sex that thing that other people do.
Peter: I'm not afraid of anything, I laugh in the face of Death. See HAHAHAHA.
Death: Oh great! Thanks a lot. As if it wasnt already hard enough to fit in.

Some people are like Slinkys... Not really good for anything, But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 10-15-2005 08:11:14 AM
quote:
Bloodsage had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
I mean, how funny is, "If she won't give me sex, I'll handle it myself"?

That sort of thing was intentional. I can and will. The idea that you can't get by without someone else involved is kinda silly. It's much nicer with someone else involved, but not to the point where I'd be willing to give over control of the relationship in the name of getting it on.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 10-15-2005 09:23:21 AM
quote:
Sean thought about the meaning of life:
You know that not a single person will read that, right?

You know that you are wrong, right?

~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Bacon369
Pancake
posted 10-15-2005 09:40:17 AM
quote:
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
That sort of thing was intentional. I can and will. The idea that you can't get by without someone else involved is kinda silly.
It's much nicer with someone else involved, but not to the point where I'd be willing to give over control of the relationship in the name of getting it on.

Control?

"He who pays the piper calls the tune."
Brahmin Bloodlust
High Priest of Drysart
posted 10-15-2005 09:46:55 AM
quote:
A sleep deprived Bacon369 stammered:
Control?

You know control...

Like the European Grip... that takes control...

Mr. Parcelan
posted 10-15-2005 10:22:31 AM
quote:
Tarquinn had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
You know that you are wrong, right?

You know that left is right, right?

Bacon369
Pancake
posted 10-15-2005 10:28:08 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
You know that left is right, right?

only in the military

"He who pays the piper calls the tune."
Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 10-15-2005 10:30:15 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan thought about the meaning of life:
You know that left is right, right?

Only in America.

~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 10-15-2005 10:36:26 AM
quote:
Tarquinn had this to say about Optimus Prime:
Only in America.

The world is America.

All times are US/Eastern
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