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Author
Topic: Evercrest Island!
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 11-10-2003 03:48:08 PM
This is just the opening, so don't expect to laugh out loud or see a lot of plot development. There's much more to come!

The wind blows in off the water, laden with a slight spray of cold water. Dockworkers shiver off the chill as they continue to load crates and other items upon the boats moored at the docks. Bells chime to announce arrivals and departures, while the harbormaster shouts orders to his lackeys.

The harbormaster, a tall man with a deep-colored skin that many would dare say was blue in the right light, was in a good mood today. Two more ships were taken by Captain Parcelan the Corpulent this past week. He was going to be receiving a nice cut of the loot this month.

KaLourin: “Ten this month already! That portly pirate do be a scourge of the seas, indeed. I hope he finds good use of his next haul. Gonna be a bit more rough with this Navy Captain in the way, yar. BOY!”

A lean child, no more than sixteen years or so leapt to his feet from a barrel he was sitting on and snapped to attention. The boy had rough curly hair and a curious look to him, but he was trying his best to look more important that the ragged clothes he was wearing.

KaLourin: “Go check with the men on dock nineteen, boy. They’re supposed ta’ be readying a ship for this Captain and the crew. DON’T JUST STAND THERE, BOY!”

Kegwen: “Yessir on my way sir!”

The boy scrambled away from the harbormaster and ran off as quickly as his legs would take him. KaLourin turned his back and began walking down the docks in the opposite direction. Unfortunately for Kegwen, the harbormaster didn’t see the boy get grabbed by a man with a cloak and his thugs, before being pulled into a coach.

KaLourin scanned the boats with his one good eye before something caught his attention. It looked as though a small parade was coming up the thoroughfare. He could easily assume this was the people he was expecting today.

KaLourin: “Yar, just what we need. At least the money’s good.”

The harbormaster squinted at a man running up towards him ahead of the crowd, holding several bookstraps over his shoulders and several scrolls and other books in his arms.

KaLourin: “What do you be wanting, then?”

The man stood up straighter and adjusted his glasses before sniffing and almost losing some of the books he was carrying.

Dr. SchiVorago: “I am Doctor SchiVorago! I am the man who contacted you about renting a ship and setting forth from your harbor today. I have brought our luggage and my companion, Young Vorbis Hawkins. I trust you were able to hire me a grand crew full of stalwart and valorous men?”

KaLourin: “Ah, so that be you. Aye, I got you a very grand crew indeed. In fact, they were willing to work for less than you had offered. I will be keeping the leftover coin for expenses, of course.”

Dr. SchiVorago: “Ah…. Well, of course. I hope it feeds you well, my fine friend. Where is the boat anchored?”

KaLourin: “It’s a ship, not a boat. A boat is what you peddle your fanny around in on a lake, lad. And it’s at Dock Nineteen. Enjoy.”

With that, the dark skinned harbormaster stalked off, grinning against the wind as the Doctor and his entourage made their way down the docks and towards the boat.

To Be Continued, one update a day! And yes, it is just building up to the humor and fun, before you ask!

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 11-10-2003 03:49:04 PM
well then, you better keep on goin because we need funney
Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 11-10-2003 05:10:36 PM
WOOHA! Bajah writings! *swoons*

I r happeees!!!

*prances around Bajah*

Vorbis
Vend-A-Goat
posted 11-10-2003 06:27:47 PM
foreshadowing!
Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 11-10-2003 06:28:57 PM
Aside from being known as less than 18 years old (which I am), it's definately a good start. Looking forward to more
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 11-10-2003 06:33:17 PM
You damn well better continue this story mister! Any less, would be blasphemy!
Abbikat
Tastes best with pudding
posted 11-10-2003 06:41:53 PM
Juuuuuuuuuuuuust
Sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship

The mate was a mighty sailing man
The skipper brave and sure
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour..
A three hour tooooour....


*scurries off to hide from Bajah, laffing maniacally*




Were-Tigress Disciple of Lycanthropy
Perma-lowbie, addicted to MMORPGs
My LiveJournal

Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 11-10-2003 06:48:40 PM
Most excellent Sir. Wonderful casting.

I hope to see more. *nods*

Mr. Parcelan
posted 11-10-2003 06:50:59 PM
Yarrr, matey. Ye'd better portray Captain Parcelan the correct way, lest I send ye to eat with the sharks.
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-10-2003 06:59:56 PM
Ugh, not the sharks. They have the worst table manners I've ever seen. I mean, the games they play while they eat. "Who can rip the fart that makes grandma say 'shit'" and other such childish behavior.

If I had to eat with them in a nice restaurant I'd probably die of embarrasment before the main course was even served.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
KaLourin
Illanae's Stooge!
posted 11-10-2003 08:21:08 PM
YAAAARRRRR!!!!

I definately have to follow this one

Dont make me slap you so hard your bucket spins around, and around,and stops sideways,thus confusing you, and making you run about London wearing your bucket, a g-string, and carrying a stick,smacking the ground while yelling "MAGICALLY DELICIOUS! MAGICALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS!"- {Tal} to Mortious
Hebrew 9:3- 'And the Lord said unto me, "Dude, there isn't a K in covenant."' - Snoota

This beer drops trou and fucks your mouth with pure hoppy goodness. - Karnaj
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 11-11-2003 10:26:48 AM
The group of people made their way down the docks fairly easily, admiring all the ships as the passed. The young man trotting up behind the doctor kept adjusting the lute he had strapped to his back and looked around nervously. Nervously, but excited. He’d never been on the ocean before and finally… finally, adventure!

They arrived at Dock Nineteen in due time, witnessing several bare-chested men climbing up and down the rigging of their boat, checking sails and tying off ropes as needed. They were keeping themselves very busy as they ran about on the boat. These men, indeed, looked like they’d been in the sun a long time and most of them seemed treacherous at first glance, but Doctor SchiVorago pushed onward, smiling at the ship.

Dr. Schivorago: “Come along, Vorbis! I’m sure the Captain is already aboard. I’m so excited! Aren’t you?”

Vorbis: “Uhm, sure, Doctor… Are you sure we can trust these men?”

Dr. Schivorago: “Of course! They were hired by the harbormaster himself. If he doesn’t know good shiphands, who would? I believe we are in good order!”

The two climbed aboard the ship, followed closely behind by the people carrying all the luggage and gear that the Doctor insisted on bringing with him. A lot of the men on the boat either sneered at them or ignored them entirely as the toted things around the deck.

Dr. SchiVorago: “Ex.. Excuse me, gentlemen, where’s the Captain?”

Receiving no response, the Doctor dismissed his entourage after they put down all his luggage. As he began counting his bags to make sure they were all in place, he began stuffing some of his books and scrolls into some bags that had enough room now that things had settled on the trip over.

Then, a loud voice, full of command and power shouted from above them, on the helm of the ship.

Kagrama: “AETINTOIN ON the STAERBORED BOEW!!1 CAPTIAEN KATIRINITIRIY SI ON DAECK!!!11”

All the hands on deck stopped what they were doing and looked up towards the helm, including the new passengers. Over the railing, a .. man… who resembled a large stick figure with a broad chest and a feathered cap stood looking down at the crew. Beside him stood a woman who resembled an upright fox, only she had multiple tails that were difficult to count from a distance, though she swished them all in unison as she surveyed the crew. Her uniform was that of a definite Royal Navy Captain.

Captain Kat: “I trust you’ve got the makings of a good crew here, Mister Kagrama?”

The large stickfigure man grunted and nodded agreement.

Kagrama: “Aey Captiaen. Tihs craew si roeugh and tumbells, BUT i beleiave they can be wihppaed into shaeps befoer too loeng!!11”

Captain Kat: “Right-o, Mister Kagrama. And the cook? You know I won’t run a ship without a good cook… and he better make a mean batch of cookies for this crew!”

Kagrama: “Aey EAY Captinea!1 Yuo siaed nevare truest a skinnaey cooke so i chaecked and boy howedys is he FAET!!11 I theink he will maek the gooeds.”

Doctor SchiVorago climbed the steps to the helm and walked up to the captain and the first mate, trying to look important. Unfortunately he tripped and stumped into Mister Kagrama, who caught him and helped him to his feet.

Kagrama: “Yuo aer too culmsey!!1 Waht good aer yuo on a shiep!!/”

Dr. SchiVorago: “I am Doctor SchiVorago! I am the man who hired this ship and paid your fees, good sir! I wished only to meet the Captain and introduce myself.”

Captain Kat: “Well, Doctor. Welcome aboard. Please join me in my cabin. I’ve fresh cookies and a jug of chilled milk. Let’s discuss this map you’ve found. Mister Kagrama, find a job for the boy.”

Mister Kagrama turned to face Vorbis, who had followed SchiVorago up the steps. He looked the boy up and down, sizing him up. Satisfied with whatever he was looking for, he motioned for Vorbis to return down the steps and followed him.

Kagrama: “Haelos, boey. I am mistaer Kagramama and yuo aer goenna be a cooeks asisitaiant!!11 Let’s go meet Parekel, the shiep’s new cooke!!1

To be continued!

Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 11-11-2003 01:17:24 PM
Oh uh...

*giggles lots*

Poor Vorbis...

Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 11-11-2003 02:11:23 PM
*applauds*

Least some good is coming out of your boring, boring job

Otherwise, you may not be bored enough to write all of these awesome stories

Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 11-11-2003 02:33:28 PM
Woot!

Very entertaining.

quote:
Kagrama: “Aey EAY Captinea!1 Yuo siaed nevare truest a skinnaey cooke so i chaecked and boy howedys is he FAET!!11 I theink he will maek the gooeds.”

That made me laugh. *nods* Excellent work as always good Sir.

Hostile Makeover
Evil as chocolate covered thistles
posted 11-11-2003 04:37:54 PM
*giggles*

This is a saga that'll be followed with interest!

Vorbis
Vend-A-Goat
posted 11-11-2003 05:04:08 PM
eek
KaLourin
Illanae's Stooge!
posted 11-11-2003 08:27:00 PM
when I first saw Kagrama's name.. I thought he was the captain. Oh... the horror excellent work sir Bajah
Dont make me slap you so hard your bucket spins around, and around,and stops sideways,thus confusing you, and making you run about London wearing your bucket, a g-string, and carrying a stick,smacking the ground while yelling "MAGICALLY DELICIOUS! MAGICALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS!"- {Tal} to Mortious
Hebrew 9:3- 'And the Lord said unto me, "Dude, there isn't a K in covenant."' - Snoota

This beer drops trou and fucks your mouth with pure hoppy goodness. - Karnaj
BeauChan
Objects in sigpic may be hammier than they appear
posted 11-12-2003 12:34:02 AM
Awesome job bajah! (honestly I thought kagrama was the captain for a bit there too! LOL)

lovin it!

Endured by EC for over 7 years and counting...
Nae
Fun with Chocolate
posted 11-12-2003 03:15:36 AM
This is going to be a RIOT! Bajah you are so funny!

Led
*kaboom*
posted 11-12-2003 03:20:54 AM
Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-12-2003 09:33:58 AM
Omg! I'm a Sea Captain! ^.^

<hands Bajah a delicious cookie of gratitude>

Funny stuff. Keep up the good work.

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-12-2003 11:27:26 AM
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when Katrinity wrote:
Omg! I'm a Sea Captain! ^.^

You're like the captain lady from Treasure Planet, only not as attractive.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-12-2003 11:29:18 AM
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about Punky Brewster:
You're like the captain lady from Treasure Planet, only not as attractive.

And you get thrown into a blackhole at the first chance.

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-12-2003 11:36:57 AM
Nothing personal, but british accents are much hotter than southern accents.
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 11-12-2003 12:22:48 PM
Elsewhere.

diadem: “Get in da cornah, yu liddel punk or me eet yur eyez!”

Toktuk: “Yeah, juz’ a little taste!”

The two large brutes laugh heartily to themselves as they toss poor Kegwen into the corner of a room after leading him to this room. Frightened, the boy is not new to being bound in a room. Instinctively, he crawls to his hands and his knees and turns away from the two thugs before biting his lip in preparation.

diadem: “Uh… wut he doin’?”

Toktuk: “Dunno. Mebbe he aimin at us. You giv him beenz?!”

The large hulk of a troll shook his head vigorously side to side as the two of them backed away. They both stopped, however, when they bumped into their boss. Parting to give him room, the two opened enough space to allow a man wearing a black wide-brimmed hat and a dark cloak.

After stepping past the oafs, the man stopped further into the room and hooked a small stool on his foot. With a kick, he slid the stool near the boy and removed his hat and cloak, revealing a man with hair that was streaked white and red, accompanied with a red goatee and wearing streamlined dark sunglasses. The dark cloak had also hidden very loud colored clothing, complete in red raver slacks and a button-up anime shirt.

Boss: “Fools. Can’t you see he’s a Cabin Boy? He’s used to this. Turn around, boy.”

The man in red sat down on the stool as Kegwen turned around and sat with his back in the corner and cringed.

Redd Mayge: “I am Redd Mayge: Feared Pirate and Canadian. I see you have had a conversation with the Fartelli Brothers. They’re good help and if you don’t tell me what I want to know, they’ll eat well tonight.”

[i]The two giants behind Redd Mayge laughed deeply as Kegwen cringed and looked around, afraid of what was to happen to him. He tried to get up some courage and talk back to them, futilely defiant.

Kegwen: “They don’t even look like brothers… one’s an ogre and one’s a troll….”

diadem: “Yu callin me mudder a fibber?!”

Toktuk: “We are brudders, tried an’ tru!”

Redd Mayge silences them all with a wave of his hand and looked at Kegwen again.

Redd Mayge: “So, are you going to cooperate or should these two begin trying to figure out which spices would work best with you?”

Kegwen: “… what do you want to know?”

Redd Mayge: “Ah, that’s a good boy. You work for KaLourin, the harbormaster. He works for Dread Parcelan. He hired a certain crew for a boat. I want to know where they’re going, what they’re after, and how I can get to it first.”

Kegwen, now bolstered, looked at his captors.

Kegwen: “You’re going to try and steal from Parcelan the Corpulent? Hahahaha, he’ll have your head stuffed and mounted on his mast!”

Redd Mayge quickly snaps his wrist and backhands Kegwen, silencing the boy.

Redd Mayge: “Well, I guess you’re about to be dinner. He’s all yours, boys.”

The man gets up and wraps himself back in his cloak and hat before spinning on heel and walking between diadem and Toktuk. Grinning toothily, the two closed in on Kegwen, rubbing their hands together eagerly. With a scream, Kegwen began to blurt…

Kegwen: TheyhavesomeoneonboardwithamaptoagrandtreasurethatParcelanhasbeenhuntingforyears! Please don’t eat me! Pleeease!”

The man stopped in the hall and whispered to himself “Old Callalron’s treasure… a myth. I shall have it first!” He stormed down the hallway, followed by a few more screams and the sounds of a few bones snapping… then silence.

To be continued!

[ 11-12-2003: Message edited by: Bajah ]

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-12-2003 12:33:09 PM
Yay! I can't wait for some ship to ship battling! ^.^
Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 11-12-2003 02:36:50 PM
YAR! PIRATES!!!

*dons her dreadpirate wolf outfit*

Yarroo!

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-12-2003 02:45:36 PM
quote:
Trillee stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
YAR! PIRATES!!!

*dons her dreadpirate wolf outfit*

Yarroo!


Privateers!

<fires a cannon full of delicious cookies at Trillee's ship> ^.^

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Black
The Outlaw Torn
posted 11-12-2003 02:54:55 PM
Excellent read sofar, Bajahman.


Time was never on my side.
So on I wait my whole lifetime.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-12-2003 02:56:24 PM
I have the strangest feeling that if I end up in this story it'll be as an anchor.
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 11-12-2003 03:01:55 PM
quote:

Toktuk: “Dunno. Mebbe he aimin at us. You giv him beenz?!”

And I laughed again. I check this thread way to often to see if the saga has been graced with an addition. I'm always very glad when it has been.

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 11-12-2003 03:02:05 PM
quote:
JooJooFlop was listening to Cher while typing:
I have the strangest feeling that if I end up in this story it'll be as an anchor.

Nah, you'll be the giant Tiki idol that comes to life when someone tries to take Call's lost treasure!

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-12-2003 03:05:54 PM
Like the Almighty Tiki God that was on MTV that one summer?

That guy was cool.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 11-12-2003 04:38:15 PM
This story rocks

Now I have something to look foward to each day in class

Nae
Fun with Chocolate
posted 11-12-2003 04:48:50 PM
Why do I have a feeling that the treasure is a perfectly chilled bottle of Kristal vodka? muhahahaha
Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 11-12-2003 05:03:46 PM
quote:
Sith Lord Nae's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
Why do I have a feeling that the treasure is a perfectly chilled bottle of Kristal vodka? muhahahaha

Because it's Call. *giggles*

*has her ship fire baklava at Kat's*

Abbikat
Tastes best with pudding
posted 11-12-2003 05:14:38 PM
Juuuuuuuuuuuuust
Sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship

The mate was a mighty sailing man
The skipper brave and sure
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour..
A three hour tooooour....

The weather started getting rough
The tiny ship was tossed
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Minnow would be lost
The Minnow would be lost...


*scurries off to hide from Bajah, laffing maniacally*




Were-Tigress Disciple of Lycanthropy
Perma-lowbie, addicted to MMORPGs
My LiveJournal

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-12-2003 06:12:51 PM
Is that a "Best of Abbi" moment or a "recently stricken with Alzheimer's" moment?
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
BeauChan
Objects in sigpic may be hammier than they appear
posted 11-12-2003 06:37:39 PM
yes!! hahah that's great. more to look forward to!
Endured by EC for over 7 years and counting...
All times are US/Eastern
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