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Author
Topic: Worst Magic Card Ever?
Azymyth
Not gay; just weird
posted 04-18-2005 02:30:19 PM
I was sorting through my cards earlier and came across this little gem and thought oh dear god this thing sucks!

I can see no use for this unless you're using a bazillion card deck. Is there a worse card out there?

Azymyth fucked around with this message on 04-18-2005 at 02:31 PM.

I suffer from CRS: Can't Remember Shit.

Sig pic done by the very talented SJen!

Timpofee
Mancake
posted 04-18-2005 02:34:51 PM
How about this...
pull this puppy out...
Switch enchantment/trade enchantment

I would use it like this if i had a discard/remove from game thing going on
And there are alot of freaky funky cards out there

Palador ChibiDragon
Dismembered
posted 04-18-2005 02:35:41 PM
Actually, that sounds fairly useful.

The trick is that it does nothing at all to the cards in your hand or graveyard. If you use this late in the game, and then restore your graveyard into your library after you fail to pay the upkeep, it makes for an interesting way to prevent damage.

Of course, if your opponent manages to keep you from restoring your Library, you're hosed.

I believe in the existance of magic, not because I have seen proof of its existance, but because I refuse to live in a world where it does not exist.
Mod
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 02:35:54 PM
It's a weak card, but it has it's theoretical uses, you could use it to absorb the hit from decktypes that rely on big but not infinite damage hits like the old seismic assault for example.

Also I haven't played magic for years, but in a combo deck you could try to use one of those cards that uses 'put X on the bottom of your library (Lim-Dûl's Vault is the one I remember)' as a punishment, then prevent 48 imaginary damage (does that still work?) to yourself and grab your combo hand to kill with. Still not really good since it relies on a UU card + another card just for the fetch but it's better than nothing.

Mod fucked around with this message on 04-18-2005 at 02:42 PM.

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
Naimah
In a Fire
posted 04-18-2005 02:51:26 PM
quote:
Mod had this to say about dark elf butts:
It's a weak card, but it has it's theoretical uses, you could use it to absorb the hit from decktypes that rely on big but not infinite damage hits like the old seismic assault for example.

Also I haven't played magic for years, but in a combo deck you could try to use one of those cards that uses 'put X on the bottom of your library (Lim-Dûl's Vault is the one I remember)' as a punishment, then prevent 48 imaginary damage (does that still work?) to yourself and grab your combo hand to kill with. Still not really good since it relies on a UU card + another card just for the fetch but it's better than nothing.


With the way the card is worded no. Putting a card into your grave yard is part of the effect and not the cost. Course it is from alliance so they may not have been following the modern conventions.

Mod
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 03:04:38 PM
quote:
Naimah had this to say about Optimus Prime:
With the way the card is worded no. Putting a card into your grave yard is part of the effect and not the cost. Course it is from alliance so they may not have been following the modern conventions.

It could still work, I know there was a way to mess with the old interrupt-era damage prevention step, no idea how it got changed or how it worked.

IIRC old cards had parts of the cost listed as 'to'-clauses, so it may well be counted as cost, you'd have to check in ...Oracle...? or whatever the WotC errata database was named.

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
Alt-F4
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 03:06:14 PM
"Well that still only counts as one."
-Gimli
Kinanik
Upset about being titless
posted 04-18-2005 03:07:46 PM
Can't you not bring back cards removed from the game?
Gully Foyle is my name
And Terra is my nation
Deep space is my dwelling place
The stars my destination
Mod
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 03:08:56 PM
quote:
Alt-F4 had this to say about Robocop:

Nevermind, though you mean donate is worse, heh. It still won't do him much good, the opponent can just not pay the cumulative upkeep.

Mod fucked around with this message on 04-18-2005 at 03:09 PM.

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
Kinanik
Upset about being titless
posted 04-18-2005 03:12:00 PM
quote:
Mod smells kinda like pancakes:
Nevermind, though you mean donate is worse, heh. It still won't do him much good, the opponent can just not pay the cumulative upkeep.

Then they lose their library...

Gully Foyle is my name
And Terra is my nation
Deep space is my dwelling place
The stars my destination
Mod
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 03:18:46 PM
quote:
We were all impressed when Kinanik wrote:
Then they lose their library...

Yeah just noticed, the post was too old to edit, misremembered the card, I should probably quit talking about magic with the amount of stuff I'm losing.

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.
NullDevice
Internet Tough Guy
posted 04-18-2005 03:22:04 PM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Mod was all like:
It could still work, I know there was a way to mess with the old interrupt-era damage prevention step, no idea how it got changed or how it worked.

IIRC old cards had parts of the cost listed as 'to'-clauses, so it may well be counted as cost, you'd have to check in ...Oracle...? or whatever the WotC errata database was named.


The current method for that card would read:

0, Remove top card of library from the game: Prevent the next 1 point of damage from any one source.


And I still say you fuckers have killed the game with stupidity. Mana, Interrupt, Instant/Fast Effect, *edit* sorc ery (FUCKING GAY ASS WORD FILTER), Summoning.

NullDevice fucked around with this message on 04-18-2005 at 03:23 PM.

DrPaintThinner
Anti-Semite
posted 04-18-2005 03:24:11 PM
This card with donate needs to go into a millstone deck. That would be very mean.
roit, less bash 'is noggin
Malbi
posted 04-18-2005 03:41:04 PM
Interestingly this did see some use in Blue control way back in the day in tournaments, it is non white damage prevention, a rare thing.

Also the 5 Wish cards from Judgement by tournament rules can bring cards removed from the game or in your side board back into your hand.

I Didnt ask to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies, the Balloon Doggies demanded it!
Sentow, Maybe
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 06:06:22 PM
There's some enchantment that stops creatures with the Plainswalking ability from attacking you.

To my knowledge, there's only one creature in the whole game with that ability.

Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We'll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.
Aaron (the good one)
posted 04-18-2005 06:09:01 PM
quote:
Sentow, Maybe stopped masturbating to porn to say;
There's some enchantment that stops creatures with the Plainswalking ability from attacking you.

To my knowledge, there's only one creature in the whole game with that ability.


2, one isn't legal though.

Galbadia Hotel - Video Game Music
I am Canadian and I hate The Tragically Hip
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 04-18-2005 06:18:09 PM
Vise the Stompy
Title now 100% ass free!
posted 04-18-2005 06:36:11 PM
There was a black enchantment that whenever a creature was cast you lost one life and gained one black mana. Carnival of Souls I think it was called but it is pretty bad.
Manticore
Not Much Fun Anymore
posted 04-18-2005 06:51:35 PM
quote:
Vise the Stompy thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
There was a black enchantment that whenever a creature was cast you lost one life and gained one black mana. Carnival of Souls I think it was called but it is pretty bad.

That's actually pretty good in a black agro deck or a deck where you have those artifacts that are 1T: gain 1life.

Edit: I had sex with Drys?

Manticore fucked around with this message on 04-18-2005 at 06:52 PM.

"France tried to turtle, but Hitler did a tank rush before they were ready. Just shows how horribly unbalanced real life is. They should release a patch."
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 04-18-2005 07:45:52 PM
quote:
Manticore thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
That's actually pretty good in a black agro deck or a deck where you have those artifacts that are 1T: gain 1life.

Edit: I had sex with Drys?


Carnival of Souls

No, just crap, either you wait to cast it and then start casting 1 mana creatures that replicate themselves that you COULD have been casting on turns 1 and 2 and starting beatdown, or by ritualling it out you just blew two mana you could have used to cast a creature

And then there is the issue of your opponent's creatures causing you to lose 2 life (1 life and 1 mana burn pretty much guarenteed) simply by coming into play.

Blackened
posted 04-18-2005 07:46:49 PM
quote:
Nobody really understood why Vorago wrote:
Carnival of Souls
That's the first card that came to my mind when I saw this thread.

Although my distaste for you as a human being is brobdingnagian,
what I'm about to do isn't personal.
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-18-2005 07:53:37 PM
quote:
Vorago thought about the meaning of life:
Carnival of Souls

No, just crap, either you wait to cast it and then start casting 1 mana creatures that replicate themselves that you COULD have been casting on turns 1 and 2 and starting beatdown, or by ritualling it out you just blew two mana you could have used to cast a creature

And then there is the issue of your opponent's creatures causing you to lose 2 life (1 life and 1 mana burn pretty much guarenteed) simply by coming into play.


At least the lore text is kinda funny.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Rodent King
Stabbed in the Eye
posted 04-18-2005 08:33:36 PM
Pretty worthless
My inner child is bigger than my outer adult.
Manticore
Not Much Fun Anymore
posted 04-18-2005 08:35:01 PM
quote:
Rodent King had this to say about Optimus Prime:
Pretty worthless

Invasion Block.

"France tried to turtle, but Hitler did a tank rush before they were ready. Just shows how horribly unbalanced real life is. They should release a patch."
DrPaintThinner
Anti-Semite
posted 04-18-2005 08:35:52 PM
quote:
Rodent King wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Pretty worthless

not if I want to play Dark Banishing on a black creature.

roit, less bash 'is noggin
Vorago
A completely different kind of Buckethead
posted 04-18-2005 08:43:21 PM
quote:
DrPaintThinner had this to say about Reading Rainbow:
not if I want to play Dark Banishing on a black creature.

Or if your goblins want to laugh at your opponent's CoP:Red

Manticore
Not Much Fun Anymore
posted 04-18-2005 08:46:53 PM
Pedantic Learning?

Blue Enchantment U2 I believe...

Whenever a land goes into the graveyard from your library you may pay U1 and draw a card.

I'm very much sure I butchered that part. But I'm trying my best not to get back into MTG as it drained my wallet for the last 2 years.

"France tried to turtle, but Hitler did a tank rush before they were ready. Just shows how horribly unbalanced real life is. They should release a patch."
Fizodeth
an unflattering title
posted 04-18-2005 09:19:27 PM
I think the worst had to be the common half of the BFG from Unglued.
Manticore
Not Much Fun Anymore
posted 04-18-2005 09:34:01 PM
quote:
Fizodeth had this to say about Pirotess:
I think the worst had to be the common half of the BFG from Unglued.

only 'cuz u r n00b 2 magique.

"France tried to turtle, but Hitler did a tank rush before they were ready. Just shows how horribly unbalanced real life is. They should release a patch."
Fizodeth
an unflattering title
posted 04-18-2005 09:52:30 PM
quote:
Manticore had this to say about dark elf butts:
only 'cuz u r n00b 2 magique.

Heh, every card listed here could at least have one SMALL use, the common half of the BFM was pointless unless you got extermely lucky or spent like 200 bucks on boosters. Even then it was useless because no one would let you play it.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-18-2005 09:53:24 PM
BTW, what was that one card from Legends that could make the game end in a draw?
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Alaan
posted 04-18-2005 11:33:03 PM
quote:
This insanity brought to you by Delidgamond:
2, one isn't legal though.

I'm pretty sure there are a few pretty recent ones. I'm positive there was a Gazelle a block or so back.

Azymyth
Not gay; just weird
posted 04-18-2005 11:41:57 PM
quote:
Vorago obviously shouldn't have said:
Carnival of Souls

Wow. I completely forgot about that card, heh. That definately beats Thought Lash.
I suffer from CRS: Can't Remember Shit.

Sig pic done by the very talented SJen!

Ragabash
Pancake
posted 04-18-2005 11:43:28 PM
It's been awhile since I played Magic, but Thought Lash doesn't tap when you use it's ability right? It's kind of like a card shield for your hp. True, you may not want to lose some of the cards you're throwing away, but if you're deck is built around a lot of repitious stuff it wouldn't be a bad way to save yourself. I'm sure there are probably better cards for that sort of thing though. *shrug*
Feed my hungry soul.
Azymyth
Not gay; just weird
posted 04-18-2005 11:46:20 PM
quote:
There was much rejoicing when JooJooFlop said this:
BTW, what was that one card from Legends that could make the game end in a draw?

Divine Intervention

I'm pretty sure it was remade somewhat in a later set but I can't remember the name.

I suffer from CRS: Can't Remember Shit.

Sig pic done by the very talented SJen!

Mr. Gainsborough
posted 04-19-2005 01:20:20 AM
What about that one bridge card from Fallen Empires. I remember that being particularly shitty.
Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 04-19-2005 01:26:24 AM
quote:
Mr. Gainsborough had this to say about Tron:
What about that one bridge card from Fallen Empires? I remember that being particularly shitty.

The only good thing to come from Fallen Empires was the Goblin Grenade.

Falaanla Marr fucked around with this message on 04-19-2005 at 01:26 AM.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 04-19-2005 01:37:54 AM
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Falaanla Marr said:
The only good thing to come from Fallen Empires was the Goblin Grenade.

Breeding Pit

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Azymyth
Not gay; just weird
posted 04-19-2005 01:45:25 AM
Order of Leitbur and Order of the Ebon Hand.
I suffer from CRS: Can't Remember Shit.

Sig pic done by the very talented SJen!

Zair
The Imp
posted 04-19-2005 02:39:53 AM
quote:
Falaanla Marr's <a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=5&k=fortune%20cookie" onmouseover="window.status='fortune cookie'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">fortune cookie</a> read:
The only good thing to come from Fallen Empires was the Goblin Grenade.

Hymn to Tourach (sp?)

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