The Crusade Against The Scarlet... Crusade.

Author

Topic: The Crusade Against The Scarlet... Crusade.

Lashanna

noob

posted 12-30-2004 05:54:22 AM

Having heard tales of devilry (and grand loot) afoot in the monastery of the well-meaning-but-actually-quite-homicidal Scarlet Crusade, we set out upon a quest.

We, of course, being Licinia, a paladin with a devil-may-care attitude and nothing to lose; Shedari, an illegal immigrant from Kalimdor with a sordid past; Cobalt, protector of the wilds of Kalimdor (and franchises established in the East), with an unsavory taste for the flesh of the deceased; Falaanla, a warlock who drew from the Twisting Nether like a vat of pudding; And FeFe LeFew, an ominous priest we picked up on the way there who was in actuality quite nice.

The madness of the once righteous Crusaders seemed peculiarly all encompassing.

Cutting through the depraved chambers of torture, and putting a wagonload of spirits (you'd be surprised how many spirits can fit in a wagon) to rest, we confronted, and slew without hesitation, the Bloodmage Thalnos who had taken up residence in the crypts of the monastery. He dropped something quite inconsequential, and it was lost in the sands of time.

Knowledge is a dangerous thing. Keeping this in mind, we ran onward to the library and slew many scholars, so as to promote illiteracy amongst the ranks of Crusaders! There were also monks here. Monks are like rogues without all the poking. They hurt quite a bit. Arcanist Doan, despite his Cone of Silence, was turned into quite a pincushion, then sliced into small consumable portions.

Dour Falaanla found a treasure amongst the deceased nerd's possessions:

Despite the name, the rod is actually quite real.

Finding little in the way of great treasures, the intrepid crew made their way to the armory, which seems like a reasonable place to find weapons and armor.
Found they did! With great determination, and a short break for Cobalt's dinner, the group soon found themselves facing Herod, the Scarlet Champion, who looked quite ridiculous in his peculiar arrangement of armor. Like Russel Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix before them, Herod and Licinia locked swords in the Scarlet Arena. Also like Russel Crowe, Herod was stabbed in the back and perhaps poisoned by a treacherous individual (in this instance, Shedari). Herod was also being walloped from the bleachers by arrows by Cobalt, also known world over by High Schoolers as the Silent Killer.

Herod died, and rather than take his head as a trophy, Licinia took something much more practical and only slightly better smelling:

Giddy with bloodlust, the ragtag band of adventurers skipped like schoolgirls to the Cathedral, where further carnage was to be had. Despite brief pangs of guilt, they slew many monks and abbots in the midst of prayer.

A moment of prayer for themselves was at this time permitted:

Quietly picking off the entire congregation assembled throughout the Cathedral, the clearly unaware Scarlet Commander Mograine was assailed by the Party of Five. While quite difficult to wear down, the Commander inflicted few wounds himself, and the adventurers were well prepared when High Inquisitor Whitemane threw her Holy Temper Tantrum and attempted to beat them down.

Just when victory seemed assured, disaster struck. Whitemane brought back her hapless boytoy Mograine from the dead. Unable to immediately cope with this new threat, the adventurers found their numbers reduced by not one, but two! FeFe LeFew, ever the mysterious drifter, drifted his way onto the ground quite painfully under the careful tutelage of Mograine's mallet. Making a valiant effort to defeat the demented Whitemane, Shedari was slain whilst the Paladin was trying to save the doomed Priest. Fortunately, Falaanla had prepared the Priest for just such an occasion, and bamf, like some Marvel Comic Character, the priest was returned from the dead and ready to do battle.

Redoubling their efforts, the team slew the pair of Holy Headcases and revived the fallen Shedari. Promptly, the Paladin naturally stripped Mograine of his pants:

The Inquisitor Whitemane dropped a Hammer of great power, and it was deemed fit for the Priest of the group. Sadly, the true nature of this hammer will go unrecorded as the priest was immediately driven mad by his great fortune and vanished into the night.

The heroes each went their separate ways after that moment. The Paladin, Licinia, however, was not satisfied, and returned to sweep clean the monastery yet again.

Summary for the Lazy
Cobalt, Fal, Addy, and I, along with a Pickup Priest of good quality, cleaned out Scarlet Monastery from Graveyard to Cathedral, hitting every named (even the hidden guy in the back of Cathedral). Our groups levels were Priest (38->-39), Warlock (36->-37), Hunter (37->-38), Rogue (37), Paladin (37) (Some leveled during the raid)).

Phat Lewts were had.
Immediately after, I hooked up with a somewhat retarded Pickup group. Their levels were high, so their stupidity was only a minor hindrance. We cleared Scarlet Monastery again.

I now have three pieces of the Scarlet Armor Set, and I look really cool. See:

I'm really tired now, so I'm going to sleep.

Dad's going to kill you. Really. He is.