Ready, go!
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Addy probably says this to all the girls:
I honestly have never played one of these,
But if you could, describe it a little or at least find a picture or something, because I've never played a single Dynasty Warriors game and I feel a little lazy at the moment.
I don't care if it's Samurai Warriors though.
In life, Yue Ying was rumored to have been unattractive, but Zhuge Liang was drawn to her wisdom and cunning and courted her, ultimately winning her affection. In the game she is represented as a spirited warrior who is utterly devoted to her kingdom and her husband.
Zephyer! You are... Zhang He!
"Let us proceed with elegance, grace, and beauty!"
Though he was once a vassal of Yuan Shao, Zhang He gained notoriety in the service of the Wei kingdom. He quickly proved himself as a highly capable warrior and commander, and rose to join the elite "Five Generals" of the Wei army. In the game, his character is very flamboyant, but no less deadly; he simply takes the time to appreciate the beautiful things in life.
Zair! You are... Jiang Wei!
"An excellent ploy, Prime Minister."
Originally an officer of the Wei kingdom, Jiang Wei was brought into the Shu army through Zhuge Liang's scheming. Jiang Wei had a good head for strategy, and Zhuge Liang made him his de facto disciple. Upon the Prime Minister's death, Jiang Wei took up his role, but lacking the same genius, was unable to defeat the Wei kingdom. Jiang Wei, despite his faults, is presented as a noble-hearted and wise young man who never lost faith in his mentor.
Azrael! You are... Lu Xun!
"Whenever you are ready."
Lu Xun was a relatively young officer, but none could deny his incredible tactical ability. It was his strategy which brought about the defeat of the Shu army at Yi Ling. Lu Xun was reputed to be a sholarly man with a sharp eye and a sharper wit.
Addy! You are... Xiao Qiao!
"I'll beat you up!"
The wife of Wu strategist Zhou Yu, Xiao Qiao was the younger of two beautiful sisters collectively known as the "Two Qiaos." In the game, she is represented as an energetic, carefree tomboy, though she can be mature when the situation calls for it.
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Lashanna had this to say about Punky Brewster:
Wow, the graphics on the Japanese version are terrible.
Console screenshots never look great.
Oh yeah, and ontop of that, it's PS2 lololololol can't forget that. 
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A sleep deprived Skaw stammered:
Console screenshots never look great.Oh yeah, and ontop of that, it's PS2 lololololol can't forget that.
Xbox screenshots are like that especially. The anti-aliasing not only turns off, but seems to inverse on itself.
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Azrael Heavenblade had this to say about Tron:
The characters in that screenshot look more like Chinese to me than Japanese...I can't recall any Japanese language games where they had nothing but kanji characters and no hiragana/katakana.
??
The names are Chinese, and it's based on Chinese lore AFAIK.
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And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Addy was all like:
??The names are Chinese, and it's based on Chinese lore AFAIK.
It is Chinese based.
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Black had this to say about Tron:
I know who I am.
You're totally Meng Huo.
It's not something people hear about.
nem-x! You are... Zhou Tai!
"Undisciplined."
Zhou Tai, a former pirate, was enlisted by Sun Ce to be the bodyguard of his brother, Sun Quan. Zhou Tai proved to be a loyal and reliable companion. He said little, preferring to let his actions speak for him - and they spoke volumes at the battle of He Fei, where Zhou Tai single-handedly rescued Sun Quan after he had become isolated.
Darius! You are... Sima Yi!
"Fools, FOOLS! You know NOTHING of strategy! Wait and see."
A stunningly brilliant strategist who was essentially Zhuge Liang's archnemesis. Sima Yi was an invaluable asset to the Wei kingdom, and led its armies to many pivotal victories, such as at Wu Zhang Plains and Jie Ting. Sima Yi served the reigning Cao family for several generations, but ultimately, he forced the abdication of Cao Pi* and proclaimed his own son as the "King of Jin," paving the way for the Jin Dynasty and the reunification of China.
RIG! You are... Xiahou Dun!
"I am Xiahou Dun. Come if you want to die!"
Cao Cao's right hand man and a loyal Wei soldier. Xiahou Dun was a ferocious warrior and carried out his duties with great proficiency. He was also highly dedicated and rarely backed away from a battle. During a pursuit at Xia Pi, he was struck in the eye by an arrow; incredibly, he survived the injury, removed the arrow, plucked his destroyed eye from the tip and ate it, an act which became symbolic of his dedication.
Aury! You are... Sun Ce!
"Name's Sun Ce; let's have some fun!"
The eldest son of Sun Jian was an ambitious young man who brought the Jiang Dong region under his control, earning him the title, "Little Conqueror." Though he died suddenly at an early age, Sun Ce's conquests culminated in the formation of Wu, the longest lived kindgom of the Three Kingdoms era. In the game, he is represented as a cheerful, outgoing man with an offbeat sense of humor.
JooJooFlop! You are... Pang Tong!
"What do you say we help our kind lord into the seat of power?."
Pang Tong was appointed as a Shu general at Zhuge Liang's behest. Pang Tong is sometimes believed to have been a greater tactician than even Kongming himself, but tragically, he was mistaken for Liu Bei and assassinated during the campaign against Liu Chan. In the game, Pang Tong normally has a quiet, laid back nature, but occassionally shows signs of arrogance or outright contempt towards others - especially Zhuge Liang.
Khyron! You are... Xiahou Yuan!
"I wouldn't lose at archery!"
The brother of Xiahou Dun and a trusted Wei general. Xiahou Yuan is reported to have been an outstanding archer. At the battle of Mt. Ding Jun, he confronted Shu's Huang Zhong and was slain. In the game, though he is loud-mouthed, arrogant, and a sore loser, he is essentially a decent person and a capable commander.
Black! You are... Lu Meng!
"There are no formalities in battle."
A Wu general who once believed might made right. Though he was a fierce warrior, he had no skill for tactics and posessed a bad temper. After being severely admonished by Lord Sun Quan, Lu Meng turned to academia to improve himself, and though there was sometimes a struggle between the warrior and the scholar, in the end he became a very valuable commander; it was his strategies which led to the defeat of the virtually invincible Guan Yu.
Sean! You are... Zhang Liao!
"Hmph! No heralds come with death."
A soldier who followed first Dong Zhuo, then Lu Bu, and finally found a home within the ranks of Wei's armies. Zhang Liao was one of the greatest and most feared warriors of his time; in Wu, it was said that the mention of his name would make weeping children be silent. In the game, he is sometimes overdramatic and fond of announcing himself, but is nonetheless a respected general and awe-inspiring warrior.
Ruvyen! You are... Masamune Date!
"Imbeciles! Know your place!"
I know you didn't ask for a SW character, but Masamune fits you perfectly IMO.
The young lord of the Date clan, Masamune was tempermental and impetuous in his youth, but the death of his mentor mellowed him, and he one day became a greatly respected leader. In the game, he has a single-minded ambition to unite Japan and bring glory to the Date clan, but ultimately realizes that "there are always new ways, new possibilities."
He also wields two swords 
Parcelan! You are... Kenshin Uesugi!
"Flames of Hell, vanquish the wicked!"
Unfortunately, I know jack diddly about Kenshin in history, so I'll have to give you only his "gameface," as it were.
Kenshin was a remarkably powerful warrior, though he lacked the strategic prowess of his nemesis, Shingen Takeda. He was often seen as belligerent and volatile - and frankly, that was most likely the truth. However, Kenshin never entered a battle he didn't have to. Furthermore, he was a very pious man, honoring the slain of friend and foe alike. He is eventually able to realize his limitations and make peace with Shingen, suggesting a very promising future for the Dragon of Echigo.
edit: Except for the whole dying-of-sickness-at-36 thing Addy fucked around with this message on 09-24-2004 at 11:18 PM.
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He also wields two swords
Two wooden swords. Defeating soldiers left and right with wooden swords just screams "1337 skills". 
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Addy had this to say about dark elf butts:
??The names are Chinese, and it's based on Chinese lore AFAIK.
I know all that, was confused as to why Lash thought the screenie was from the Japanese version when there's no Japanese to be found.
And no, I do not expect it to be accurate as I am a semi-lurker.
