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Author
Topic: Good day, portly amigos
Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-29-2004 04:05:57 AM
I'm very bored. I am also starting a revolution.

So, here's the deal: you try your best to be entertaining and you get a spot in the glorious new Empire of Parcelvania for your efforts, depending on your degree of success.

Here are a few sample positions: Cavalier, Spearman, Slave, Cook, Troop Entertainer, Pig Herder, Dead.

Go for the gold!

Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 05-29-2004 04:11:17 AM
*plays dead*

It comes naturally ya know.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-29-2004 04:12:00 AM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Trent was all like:
*plays dead*

It comes naturally ya know.


In the glorious empire, you shall be a famous gypsy swindler.

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 05-29-2004 04:13:27 AM
Ever had a twice-baked potato?
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Skaw
posted 05-29-2004 04:14:02 AM
YARG!

Spears Trent in the face

qwertyu
Pancake
posted 05-29-2004 04:17:16 AM
*Herds the pigs to trent and lets them feast on his corpse*
Zair
The Imp
posted 05-29-2004 04:18:54 AM
I'm not very good at being entertaining, Can't I just bribe my way into a good position?

*offers assorted meats and meads*

Gadani
U
posted 05-29-2004 04:20:10 AM
*posts more in the Last Person To Post Wins thead*
Batty
Doesn't Like You. Specifically you.
posted 05-29-2004 04:20:17 AM
I shall provide you with a punch to the face, Parcelan. There is a service charge. Do you accept?
Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 05-29-2004 04:21:37 AM
*steals the spear, stabs the pigs dead and sells the meat at market*

Silly people, I said play dead.. not really dead.

Falaanla Marr
I AM HOT CHIX
posted 05-29-2004 04:21:51 AM
I am a guy who can fool people into thinking he is a girl. I demand a job.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-29-2004 04:22:28 AM
Of course, JooJooFlop will be the famed chef to feed our hungry troops.

Skaw's sealed his fate as a Spearman.

qwertyu, though he has a great penchant for pig herding, shall be JooJoo's assistant. He shall be awarded the title: "Kitchen Bitch."

Zair will be a politician and spin doctor, as he is good at.

Gadani is stew ingredients for JooJoo.

Batty is a PR rep.

Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 05-29-2004 04:26:26 AM
*Puts Trent in a gypsy dress*

Dance boy! Dance!!

Hostile Makeover
Evil as chocolate covered thistles
posted 05-29-2004 04:26:58 AM
*begins to spout Hamlet's soliloquy from Act I Sc. vii*
Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 05-29-2004 04:28:43 AM
quote:
Trillee wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
*Puts Trent in a gypsy dress*

Dance boy! Dance!!



*pouts and takes off the dress*

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 05-29-2004 04:29:24 AM
*butchers both Gadani and qwertyu, since he doesn't really need an assistent*
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Batty
Doesn't Like You. Specifically you.
posted 05-29-2004 04:32:30 AM
quote:
Trent had this to say about John Romero:
*pouts and takes off the dress*

But you look so pretty in a dress!

Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 05-29-2004 04:34:34 AM
quote:
Nobody really understood why Batty wrote:
But you look so pretty in a dress!

I know... but I don't feel like shaving my legs.

Gadani
U
posted 05-29-2004 04:34:42 AM
*happily jumps in the stew*
Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 05-29-2004 04:34:52 AM
quote:
Trent had this to say about Pirotess:
*pouts and takes off the dress*

You could atleast dance!

Nicole
The hip-hop-happiest bunny in all of marshmallow woods
posted 05-29-2004 04:35:33 AM
quote:
Trent had this to say about Knight Rider:
*pouts and takes off the dress*

That means you're naked. And that means I steal you.

*hustles Trent off to the sex-slave pens*



I just spent
my last cent
purchasing this poverty.

Trent
Smurfberry Moneyshot
posted 05-29-2004 04:35:44 AM
quote:
Trillee had this to say about John Romero:
You could atleast dance!

*drags Trill off to give her a very special dance*


quote:
Nicole thrilled me with:
That means you're naked. And that means I steal you.

*hustles Trent off to the sex-slave pens*


Woot.

Trent fucked around with this message on 05-29-2004 at 04:38 AM.

qwertyu
Pancake
posted 05-29-2004 04:36:04 AM
nm too late =p

qwertyu fucked around with this message on 05-29-2004 at 04:36 AM.

Trillee
I <3 My Deviant
posted 05-29-2004 04:39:13 AM
quote:
Trent thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
stuff about a special dance.

Ooobebe!

Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 05-29-2004 05:15:41 AM
*Bajah runs in and decapitates random people, bows, and runs out again while shouting something in 'foreigner speak'*
Cavalier-
Pancake
posted 05-29-2004 07:29:22 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan's fortune cookie read:
Here are a few sample positions: Cavalier

wutchoo want me kill?

Gydyon
Yes, I am a lawyer. No you can't sue them for that. Shut up, or I'll have your legs broken.
posted 05-29-2004 10:19:35 AM
I would note that my goons are already at your house. What shall I be?
Gydyon
Evercrest Lawyer

Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001

Gunslinger Moogle
No longer a gimmick
posted 05-29-2004 10:56:59 AM
*does some fancy gun tricks, including shooting Gyd's cigar out of his mouth, knocking the kings on a chessboard down without damaging them or any other pieces, and knocking a Fox news satellite out of orbit*



moogle is the 3241727861th binary digit of pi

Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop

Sean
posted 05-29-2004 11:00:49 AM
I've got some nasty gas today.
A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Noxhil
Pancake
posted 05-29-2004 11:30:10 AM
Peter
Pancake
posted 05-29-2004 11:39:42 AM
I like giant robots, sword, big swords, axes, big axes, even bigger axes, big explosions, tall women with big tata's, guns, big guns, insanely large guns, rail guns, footbal, porno , books about war. I am on the slow path to being a Mech. E., I am proficent in marksmanship, camping, many of the sercet deadly arts of the BSA, small engine repair, minor to moderate automotive repair both body and mechanical, woodworking, drinking, pissing, I swear like a salty salior often, fishing, swimming...so any spots for me?
Gydyon
Yes, I am a lawyer. No you can't sue them for that. Shut up, or I'll have your legs broken.
posted 05-29-2004 11:42:15 AM
quote:
Gunslinger Moogle obviously shouldn't have said:
*does some fancy gun tricks, including shooting Gyd's cigar out of his mouth, knocking the kings on a chessboard down without damaging them or any other pieces, and knocking a Fox news satellite out of orbit*

*has Moogle's legs broken and then lights a new cigar*

Gydyon
Evercrest Lawyer

Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001

Callalron
Hires people with hooks
posted 05-29-2004 11:48:03 AM
::hands Parce a bottle of Stoli and an art book of Natalie Portman pics::

Here. Go nuts.

Callalron
"When mankind finally discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be upset that it isn't them."
"If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll just go out and buy an ugly hat. But if you talk to a starving man about fish, then you've become a consultant."--Dogbert
Arvek, 41 Bounty Hunter
Vrook Lamar server
Lashanna
noob
posted 05-29-2004 12:04:32 PM
I shall be a Cavalier.

The Takeda Cavalry is swifter than the wind, and you will need someone who can match them.

Dad's going to kill you. Really. He is.
Lenlalron Flameblaster
posted 05-29-2004 12:37:46 PM
I will be a berzerker. Calvary, pikemen, swordsmen, they are no match for my unbridled fury!
Grammar is your enemy! - While being able to understand someone's sentences might seem like a good idea for a proper essay, complaining on a forum scarcely leaves time for such trivialities. Write fast! You're angry, grrr! Make that show, and forget about things like capital letters, punctuation, and verbs.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-29-2004 12:48:40 PM
HENCEFORTH I DECREE

Falaanla shall be the Royal Poorag.

Trillee shall be luncheon meat.

Xyrra will be lethally injected.

Nicole will be a slave master. But not a sexy slave master. One of the hairy, smelly slave masters with pot bellies, missing teeth and they always go "YEEEEEEEAH, BOOOOOOOY."

Bajah will be the Regal Decaptitatus Maximus.

Cavalier will be a drugged-out hippy.

Gydyon will be the Prime Minister...with missing teeth and he always says "YEEEEEEEEEEAH, BOOOOOOY!"

Gunslinger Moogle will carry around a big leather book and be on-hand whenever I beat a boss and need to save.

Sean shall be the Royal Blimp.

Noxhil will be the guy we're all glad we're not.

Peter will be the guy Noxhil is glad he isn't.

Callalron will be the Official Empire's Jimberjam. WHatever it is a Jimberjam does, I'll leave up to him.

Lashanna will be the Imperial Impalus Maximus. And she and Bajah will fight over which is better: decapitation or disembowelment by lance.

Lenny will be Lashanna's squire.

Sakkra
Office Linebacker
posted 05-29-2004 12:56:51 PM
What is a kingdom without a brutal enforcer?
Darius!
Pancake
posted 05-29-2004 01:00:02 PM
Begins table dancing

Darius! fucked around with this message on 05-29-2004 at 01:00 PM.

Arrenn Lightblade
Yes. Yes he is.
posted 05-29-2004 01:00:13 PM
*imports the finest drinks for the new empire*
Aury
My hair is a deadly weapon
posted 05-29-2004 01:26:13 PM
*makes a phone call, and then a line of twenty hula dancers come in, circle around parce, and start hula-ing until their hips can take no more*
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