quote:
There was much rejoicing when El Cuchillo said this:
Beans beans the musical fruit!
The more you eat, the more ya toot!
The more ya toot, the better you feel,
so eat beans with every meal!
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
*flexes*
Last time, it was just him and me in the car, coming back from Wal-Mart. We're waiting at a light, and all of a sudden I smell...IT. I've never been to the waste dumps in New Jersey, but I bet they smell like this; definitely organic, but in a "recycled by decomposition and chemical agitation" sort of way. It reeks so bad my nose shuts down out of self defense, right around the time my eyes start to itch. I look over at him, and say "Dude, don't let those go in the car."
Now...here's the thing. He's sitting there, smiling the smile of someone who knows what to expect from their own farts and aren't bothered in the least. But I say what I said and he goes, "It wasn't me!"
There's just the two of us in the car. No car ahead of us, so it's not the exhaust of someone else's car. No convoy of open-air garbage trucks, roto rooter trucks, and livestock-carrying transport trucks has driven past. And he's not bothered in the least.
I have, by this time, pulled my shirt up over my nose so I can breathe, and I roll down a window. If the smell was coming from outside, it would have come in more. Not the case. Fresh air comes in in great draughts and the car (Lyinar's) gets aired out, Wesley (her nephew) protesting the whole way that it wasn't him (he doth protest too much, as there were only two asses in that car and it didn't come out of mine). Nonetheless, I advised Lyinar not to get in her car for a day or two.
We used to have an old English Bulldog named Priscilla. The older she got, the worse her farts were. They were silent ones too. We would all be eating dinner and then the kitchen would fill with the fumes. Everyone would gag and eyes would tear up.. she would just sleep on through it all as we scrambled to open doors and windows.
quote:
Nae had this to say about Punky Brewster:
dogfarts..We used to have an old English Bulldog named Priscilla. The older she got, the worse her farts were. They were silent ones too. We would all be eating dinner and then the kitchen would fill with the fumes. Everyone would gag and eyes would tear up.. she would just sleep on through it all as we scrambled to open doors and windows.
Dog farts are the worst 
Edit: My dog farted quite a bit too. If you had a keen sense of hearing like mine you could hear a faint *pfff* that indicated something smelly was wafting your way. But I took it like a MAN, dammit. And by that I mean I farted on her head in retaliation. [ 03-02-2004: Message edited by: El Imán Grande! ]
quote:
This one time, at JooJooFlop camp:
I always wanted a bulldog.
I grew up with them. We had Oddball when I was a baby, and then after he died we got Priscilla. I think I was 7 or 8 when we got her. She died when I was a teenager.
They are fantastic dogs, they just have a lot of health problems, like allergies. Super smart and fun to be with.
And I wanna hide treats in his jowl flaps like Ron White does.
Unofortunately, my most frequent opponent is a Mexican who loves beans. I'm clearly outmatched.
quote:
This insanity brought to you by Led:
*lets one rip*
*snaps a picture, photoshops in a Japanese dude sniffing Led's butt and sells it to fetish websites*
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
Mr. Parcelan wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Unofortunately, my most frequent opponent is a Mexican who loves beans. I'm clearly outmatched.
Garlic is your key to victory.
quote:
Nobody really understood why JooJooFlop wrote:
I like bulldogs because they snore, which I think is an endearing thing for a dog to do.And I wanna hide treats in his jowl flaps like Ron White does.
Yeah they snore! It's really cute. They also grab onto things and hold tight, they lock their jaw. We used to take a 4x4 and she would bite it in the center, and we would lift her off the ground.
She ground her teeth down though trying to get at the neighbor's dogs. She ate a hole in the wooden fence, then she ate her wooden doghouse. When we moved to a house with slump block walls, she got frustrated that she couldn't eat it anymore. By this time her fangs were nubs. 
She was so funny.
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about Cuba:
Garlic is your key to victory.
True. But at the rate at which I have people in my room, it would probably be wiser just to let him win.
quote:
JooJooFlop had this to say about Punky Brewster:
Garlic is your key to victory.
oh yeah.. raw garlic, and cabbage! Eat some kimchi and some raw garlic duder.. you will have the best worst farts EVAR!
quote:
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael had this to say about Cuba:
My mom's friend has a dog who's farts are so bad, Corky (such an ironic nickname) lets one go, then gets up and walks away from it.
Well yeah! Who wants to sit in their own stink?
haha
The dog's corner is a constant chemical war zone 
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when Jajahotep wrote:
or eggs..*shudders*
Garlic chili eggs!
if I have to explain the definition of a suprise you're all hopeless
They have a powerful, skunk-like aroma. They're so bad that when I woke up this morning, my blankie STILL smelled like it from when I was farting last night!
quote:
Maradon! had this to say about pies:
They have a powerful, skunk-like aroma. They're so bad that when I woke up this morning, my blankie STILL smelled like it from when I was farting last night!
That reminds me of something I once did to my sister when I had some bad gas: I farted a whole bunch underneath a blanket then I carefully tossed the blanket over her, making sure the highly concentrated fart cloud wasn't released until she took the full brunt of it.
The screams were wonderful.
quote:
Maradon! had this to say about Knight Rider:
Well, I have no idea what I ate, but it's made my farts offensive even to me.They have a powerful, skunk-like aroma. They're so bad that when I woke up this morning, my blankie STILL smelled like it from when I was farting last night!
If it smells like greasy bananas, you were infected with the aliens from Dreamcatcher, and an ass weasel will explode out of your rectum in a few hours. Congratulations.
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
quote:
Nae's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
dogfarts..We used to have an old English Bulldog named Priscilla. The older she got, the worse her farts were. They were silent ones too. We would all be eating dinner and then the kitchen would fill with the fumes. Everyone would gag and eyes would tear up.. she would just sleep on through it all as we scrambled to open doors and windows.
Friend of mine in HS had a cat named Christmas (it was when they got him). This cat was fairly anti-social. If you just scratched him on the head he was more than happy, but if you tried to pick him up he'd claw you without mercy. The cat just HATED being held.
On day I'm over at his place and we're working on his PC when the cat jumps up in his lap. Both of us are puzzled by this but we scratch his head and go back to work. Next thing we know we're running for our lives from this HORRIBLE stench. This stench was so over powering that I have yet to produce anything of it's like. We had to open up the house and leave for a while.
We get back and the cat is laying up on the back of the couch... and I swear the fucker was grinning at us.
quote:
Niklas stopped staring at Deedlit long enough to write:
Dog farts are the worst
My guiney pig used to fart. Now she's dead 
quote:
This one time, at ToastedFritters camp:
My guiney pig used to fart. Now she's dead
That'll teach her! 
I had to!
quote:
ACES! Another post by Nae:
That'll teach her!
I had to!
*Pops pimple in Nae's eye.*
PUSS POWER with attack bonus of 26!
quote:
TheOriginalZane had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
*Pops pimple in Nae's eye.*
PUSS POWER with attack bonus of 26!
*blinks*
OMG LET ME POP SOME!!!! 
quote:
This one time, at Nae camp:
*blinks*OMG LET ME POP SOME!!!!
[ 03-02-2004: Message edited by: ToastedFritters ]
GABLAM!@!!! 
