This one guy pulls up and does one of the most annoying things ever. We don't have supersize drinks on the meal screen, because there's not enough room. So you have to ring up the meal and supersize, then go through two screens to get to the drinks. All the time people will order EVERYTHING, and -then- say "And no <whatever> on the <whatever>", causing you to go all the way back to ring up what any sane person tells them BEFORE the sandwhich is halfway done being made.

So this guy pulls up and the conversation goes like this!

Him: Can I get a number three supersized with a Mr. Pibb.
<rings all that up>
Him: And no onions.
<rings up "No Onions"... on the Mr. Pibb>
Him: Err.. it says no onions on the Mr. Pibb and not the sandwich.
Me: Isn't that what you said?

His response was not nice. He talked to my Manager about me being a "smart ass" and told him if HE were in charge I'd be fired. So my Manager promised to look into it. Then promptly began to laugh so hard he almost peed his pants when the guy left.(Editor's Note: Unless the employee is a fuck up, nine times out of ten the Manager who is so grave and serious to your face while you talk to them about the employee is going to laugh at you when you leave and never mention it to the employee again, unless the subject of complaints come up and he will use the opportunity to mock you. We act like we want your business, but we do just fine without you if you never feel like coming back.)

And then this guy waited for me to acknowledge him after EVERY GOD DAMN THING HE SAID. So after the first four times I made him wait. And he waited. And waited. And waited. After almost five minutes(there's a clock right above the register I was using) of ABSOLUTE AND COMPLETE SILENCE I finally said, 'Sir?' and he goes, 'That's all!'

=\

The other day I got this woman calling in in a fit of hysterics over a refund check she was supposed to be getting.

I don't know what she expected me to do for her, but before I could even get that information about her I had to listen to a 15 minute lecture on how we're going to be getting papers from her lawyer and we're stealing money from her which, as I later found, was 100% pure bullshit.

She'd actually mailed in a check, and at the same time made a debit card payment on her account, then issued a stop payment on the check almost a week after we'd cashed it.

The refund was coming back to her, but refunds take 15 days after the date of approval to get out to the refundee. But of course that's not good enough for her and she wants to speak to my manager. This is when it gets interesting.

My manager gets on and tells her the same goddamn thing I just did, resulting in another fit of hysterics. After she dies down he doesn't say a thing. Just dead air on the line. For about five minutes.

After a good long time, he says "Are you still there ma'am?"

she says "YES!"

he says "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

fit of hysterics, lawsuit threats, etc. etc. it was hilarious.

The best part was he ended up transferring to our executive offices, who told her the same thing a third time.

Guests come down for breakfast, and routinly burn themselves, mangle thier hands, and ruin thier breakfast, over a waffle.

It has a timer, you activate by flipping the irons themselves. The instructions tell you this. People forget to flip, and complain of a burned waffle.

They ignore the timer, cause they KNOW a waffle only takes a minute and a half to cook. I doubt these people have ever seen a waffle not made by Eggo. They then complain that the waffle iron made them a soggy waffle, I go look, and the timer is still at 45 seconds remaining.

They are dumbfounded by the syrup containers, this is apparant by the amount of maple sticky shit I have to mop up every night. Its simple. You peel the little thing back to the line, AND POUR. its already measured to FIT THE WAFFLE with the proper amount of syrup.

Anyways.. some jackass just burned himself for the second time this morning.. who would have thought a cast iron waffle maker would be hot?

Time to break out the bactine..

However if I am bored and the managers aren't a round, and the cust is not bad, I been knocking a few bucks off the price, or ordering stupid stuff to them free of charge, like plastic cheap john shit that breaks, or manuals, hell one guy had a tread mill and the manual wasn't being sold, yet the install parts bag that had the manual was , so I sent him the $80 bag of crap for free.

quote:

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Everyone wondered WTF when Maradon XP wrote:
Ow, waffle iron? I wouldn't trust some of my customers with a plastic spork.

---

I second that.

"Can I see your driver's license?"

"I didn't bring it."
wait... I know for a fact that they drove here.

"Well I can't rent to you without an ID."

"Why not?"

"Because I have no idea who you are."

"Can't you just call my house?"

"No, because I don't know who I'm talking to either."

One girl brought in a card that she wasn't on. We told her she'd need to bring a card she was on and an ID. She got angry and left. Ten minutes later she came back with a different card that she also wasn't on. This time we told her to bring back someone, with ID, who was on the card to add her. She comes back with her sister's card and her sister's ID but not her sister. When we told her that still wouldn't do she grabbed the movie and started to walk out. Before she got to the door I said "Sister of (name on the account). I will call the police if you walk out that door." She walked about halfway out the door so I picked up the phone. She stopped and yelled "I'm not fucking leaving." She blocked the door for a good 10 minutes while she called her sister on her cell phone and yelled at her for a while.

This one ended pretty well actually. Her sister came down and added her and they rented their movie and everyone was happy. Her sister actually apologized for her behavior so at least there are some good customers in the world. The whole exchange was rather funny seeing as we gave her explicit instructions as to how she could rent and it took her 4 tries to figure it out.

I've never actually had to call the police but I've kicked at least 3 people out of the store for their behavior. One thing I will not stand for in any way is someone abusing my employees. One lady got irate over a $.30 refund I was happy to give her because she couldn't afford the ice cream bar she wanted so I took it off but when I credited it off I didn't notice that it didn't take enough off(the ice cream was $1.49 but it only credited 1.19 for some reason, still don't know why). When I looked over her receipt and began to process the thirty fucking cent refund she started to bitch about how incompetent blockbuster employees are and blah blah blah. I made her wait outside for her refund

[ 10-09-2002: Message edited by: Kermitov ]

Fucktards.

"I want to reactivate my account."

"Ok, I'll need to collect the entire balance of $440 plus a $25 reactivation fee."

"WHAT? Can't I just pay my monthly rate!?"

"I'm afraid not, but if you just pay off your current balance you can spare yourself the reactivation fee and the agony of being sent to collections who will wipe thier ass with your credit history."

"I'M CANCELLING MY ACCOUNT!"

"you already have..."

I haven't got many people like this yet, but my job really isn't meant to involve dealing with people.

Had a woman come in the other day, looking for a book. She tells me that the book is "about Halloween crafts, and that it is thick. Kinda orange, too."

I say nothing, because I'm expecting more information. There's no way to find a book like that.

She eventually says, "I think it's in this area." gesturing at half the non-fiction section.

I ask, "Have you tried the computer system?"

"No.. I really don't know how to use it.."

The system consists of choosing a search method (title, author, subject, keyword) and typing in what you want. And hitting enter. Nearly every person who wants help hasn't even tried using it.

So I type in "halloween craft" and show her the most likely areas. She stares at the shelves with a look of extreme concentration before announcing that it's not there, but she sure we have it, and just knows they had it at the old library building (it moved over a year ago). Well, she's pretty sure she saw it around here.

At this point, I go back to the computer, pull up location for the first book it found, and see it's checked out. I suggest this amazing concept, and finally get her to go away and ask the desk staff about reserving it when it comes back in.

She didn't write down the title or author though, so they probably had to repeat the whole process. Yay for quick learners!

One day I had a woman set down ~200 dollars of merchandise on my counter. She waited patiently while I rung her purchase. When I was nearly done, I asked her, "Did you find everything all right today, ma'am?"

She gave me a very level look, handed me her credit card, and said, "I'm going to T.J. Maxx."

Well then get the fuck out! I swear, sometimes I wish I could just pull a Gord on these people.

Apparently, PlaySpace used to be a hole lot larger... 4 years ago. So, when people call up, wanting to reserver a time for a party, I ask first "Have you seen this place recently?" I get sick of people coming for their parties, and act not just suprised, I can handle suprised, it's when they get bitchy about it.

One lady, the entire time, just griped through the whole damned party. Every time a mother would drop off thier child for the party, this woulman would constently say "We should have gone to McDonalds.." in this really snotty voice.

She bitched because we were still open for the public. Hello ma'am, if you wanted it reserved for just you, you ask... And pay $130 extra.

Her husband even started to make fun of her and got really tired of her bitching.

I even stayed an extra half hour to make sure the food was exactly how she wanted it.. *sighs*

Was sorly tempted to tell her to pack up her shit, the kids, and go to McDonalds...

I work at a Coffee/Donut/Muffin Shop

(Tim Hortons if anyone knows of it)

We are pretty much like Starbucks with less variety and better coffee

Anyways...

Two guys walk in, I can tell they are American since they have obviously never been in a Tim Hortons before
(In Canada, we have a Tim Hortons about every 75 feet... they self replicate like Starbucks)

Guy A - "Your menu, are the prices in American?"
Me - "No Sir, today they are in the chinese Yen"
Guy A - "Really?"
Guy B - (Laughing) "What did you think it was? We are in Canada man"
Me - (Laughing by this point too) "Do you know how long I have wanted to say that to someone?"
Guy A - "But... we are really close to the border..."

Seriously, why is it I get that EXACT same question easily 20 times a night. What do they THINK the border is there for?

And another classic, from 3 weeks ago

*guy saunters into the store and comes up to the counter*
Guy - "Do you sell cigarettes in here?"
Me - "No sir, you might want to try Mc Donalds, I think they got some in"
Guy - "Thanks"
*he almost makes it to the door*
Guy - "Wait... Mc Donalds doesn't sell cigarettes, they are a restaurant!"
Me - (Just looked at him smiling, waiting... waiting...)
Guy - "... Oh"

And then he left without a word

I knew it would click given enough time, heh

I like it when the customers have a sense of humour, or at least one does...

Lady - "If I give you american will i get that funny money back?"
(That is customer speak for Canadian money)
Me - "No Ma'am, here in Canada we operate on a barter system, do you have any shiny stones?"

Her husband thought it was freakin' hilarious

Granted she didn't, but after 3 years there, I've really stopped caring about that

It's rather funny when for one reason or another (Namely, something I said or something they want to blame on me) they 'demand' to see who is in charge so I just look at them. Usually takes them a minute to figure out what I am implying

They sometimes leave really harsh notes in the suggestion box... shame it doesn't lock and the manager never looks through it anyways

Makes for fun reading on breaks, heh

i know i know, it really wasnt that bad, but i was new to doing that, and was nervous

He was talking to himself ina high pitched voice... he was mad because we wouldn't let him take more than 6 items in the dressing room(stupid rules) 'Well, How many can I take in now?'

Blindness ensues

I love my job.

BTW, vorago, ever get any idiots that pull up to the window to order? Or people that use large construction pylons to block the drive through entrance?

Today four seperate people handed me the entire three coupons when they wanted to use the buy one get one free one. Then after paying they ask for the other coupons back.

And thus, this has been bottling up since the first one, about six hours ago:

IF YOU WANT TO KEEP A FUCKING COUPON, TEAR THE MOTHER FUCKING, GOD DAMNED COUPON OFF BEFORE GIVING IT TO THE NICE GENTLEMAN AT THE WINDOW. FUCKTARD.

I feel better.

quote:

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Asha'man had this to say about dark elf butts:
I wish I still had access to my Guide logs. Some funny stuff there

---

NO... SHIT..

I spent 45 minutes one day, explaining why "Anys Puun'Thang" was not an acceptable name.

And fucking whiny ass uberguilds.. goddamn I hate those fuckers.

"Please make this guy spawn!"

"Make him spawn, or I'll tell [nameofGM] you didnt do your job"

"Look, you get PAID to help players win"

Do these people never visit a website?

quote:

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Comrade Snoota had this to say about Robocop:
Oh, and the people with these coupons who tell me they have one and then ask, "What's a value meal?" are some of the most amusing people in the world.

---

That's just plain ignorance...how can you live in the United States and not know what a value meal is...

Most common excuses are...

A) "Sorry, I forgot to stop"
B) "There is a speaker?"
C) *They proceed to order as if all drive thrus do not possess a speaker and they do it like this every day*

What is funny is when they cruise up to the window, skipping the speaker, thus our headsets do not tell us anyone is there

So like 5 minutes later when I happen to wander by drive-thru and see them sitting there waiting I get the Angry Customer Look

They get all angry because they had to wait for something stupid they did, heh

And in 3 years, we have had exactly two people drive the wrong way in drive thru

Yes, they entered the exit

Best part was, they sat there for over a minute waiting for the other cars to move, since THEY were obviously going the wrong way, not them

Neither of them actually came back, they just reversed and kept on driving

Which was a good thing, we were all laughing our arses off at them

quote:

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From the book of Vorago, chapter 3, verse 16:
I LOVE people that drive right up to the window

Most common excuses are...

A) "Sorry, I forgot to stop"
B) "There is a speaker?"
C) *They proceed to order as if all drive thrus do not possess a speaker and they do it like this every day*

What is funny is when they cruise up to the window, skipping the speaker, thus our headsets do not tell us anyone is there

So like 5 minutes later when I happen to wander by drive-thru and see them sitting there waiting I get the Angry Customer Look

They get all angry because they had to wait for something stupid they did, heh

And in 3 years, we have had exactly two people drive the wrong way in drive thru

Yes, they entered the exit

Best part was, they sat there for over a minute waiting for the other cars to move, since THEY were obviously going the wrong way, not them

Neither of them actually came back, they just reversed and kept on driving

Which was a good thing, we were all laughing our arses off at them

---

quote:

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Vorago had this to say about Robocop:
It's rather funny when for one reason or another (Namely, something I said or something they want to blame on me) they 'demand' to see who is in charge so I just look at them. Usually takes them a minute to figure out what I am implying

---

My boss at the sports bar used to also tend bar when he did not have enough staff.

Someone was complaining about the service to him, and said "Can I see the manager."

He turned around, wiped down the bar, then turned right around and said "Hi, I'm Thad, can I help you?"

quote:

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Vorago's account was hax0red to write:
*They proceed to order as if all drive thrus do not possess a speaker and they do it like this every day*

---

Dont bash those people too hard, theres a coupla drive thoughs here that dont have speakers, just a menu where a speaker is supposed to be. there are times I'll sit there and yell at the sigh before figureing out out.

Well, I am currently unemployed, and in school, but I volunteer at the railroad museam. We've been out nailing down rails, and people will come up and as if we're building track. "Nope, just figured we'd put all this out here, see how it looks".

Then there's the idiots who will out ther kid in front of a moving train to get a picture (only seen one so far...thank GOD), of let ther kids hand out of windows built in the 1890's, AFTER warnings that they have been known to drop and break fingers. And then it gets scarry.

Give me till monday, and Im sure I'll have some better ones though. We have Thomas the Tank Engine comeing this weekend. /shutters

Customer called up, can't connect. Looked at his account, he's been red flagged. Look up the reason why.

This man, with a dial up account, has been online CONSTNANTLY for three straight days. His system was set to connect, and redial if disconnected. Over, and over, and over. In seven days he had racked up 157 hours of online time.

For those who know my industry, they know how bad that is. It was an amusing call for me.

The rest of my calls have just been annoying. "Hold my hand and walk me through this because I'm new and clueless."

But then again, I tend to head up to the window just a bit behind a car so the people will notice I'm there. And I only do so late at night, when the interior of the place is shut to customers.

quote:

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Verily, Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael doth proclaim:
That's just plain ignorance...how can you live in the United States and not know what a value meal is...

---

At least once a day I offer someone the meal, like I'm forced to even though if people want one they'll order one, and am asked, "What's that?"

But what did they THINK the large speaker looking item was?
Mind you, it has a little cardboard flap on the side reading 'Place Order Here'

And then an arrow pointing to the speaker

Another of my favorite conversations

Happens far more than it should

"You know, I hate this place, you need a garbage can at the drive-thru for my garbage!"
"Sir, look 10 feet to my right, see the plastic garbage can labelled 'Litter' you drove past?"
"Oh... well, you just got it recently, I didn't know about it"
"It's been there for over a year now"
"Oh..."

[ 10-10-2002: Message edited by: Vorago ]

quote:

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Vorago had this to say about pies:
"You know, I hate this place, you need a garbage can at the drive-thru for my garbage!"

---

People tell me that all the time. As they tell me that, they dump their trash on the ground.

I hold their food/money hostage until they pick it up.

quote:

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Comrade Snoota had this to say about Duck Tales:
People tell me that all the time. As they tell me that, they dump their trash on the ground.

I hold their food/money hostage until they pick it up.

---

A customer did that to me once. I told him we couldn't take garbage from him due to health and safety regulations, and he drove past the garbage can. So he looked at me and dumped it on the ground

So I dropped his change on the ground, said "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I accidently dropped your change!", shut and locked the window, and went into the back

That man was one of the only two customers I have ever done that to

The other used the line "What the fuck do YOU think asshole?" So I tossed his money through his car window on his lap, tossed his stuff in the garbage, and again, went in the back

I don't get paid enough to put up with that

I pulled a bit of a Vorago on one kid who left a mess one night. I'm not a Manager yet, but I run the store when the Manager isn't there.

He came back the next day and I told him he wasn't welcome here because, as I quote myself, "Your momma doesn't work here." He thought I was joking and starts to order anyway. I told him I was serious. He, being a spoiled little rich punk(I work in the rich suburbs. Rich kids suck. ), whines and cries and demands to see the person in charge.

I adjust my tie a few times while he's going on his little tirade. He finally understood and told me he was never coming back again, like it was some kind of threat. Which I thought I had just told him.

"Would you mind rinsing it out? Make it 5 creams and 5 sugar"

I have no problem with that, added some tea water, and dumped

Then I noticed that there was some sort of jelly like mass at the bottom of it

I added more hot water

Nothing

Then it clicked, that mass at the bottom was what happens to five shots of cream when left in a thermos for god knows how long

So I told him such

"Well, just grab a knife and scrape it out"

So I went over, got a knife, put the Thermos on the counter, placed the knife on top and directed him to the bathroom

He muttered something under his breath and walked out, with the knife I might add

Yeah, he really got me good

[ 10-10-2002: Message edited by: Vorago ]