EverCrest: A weird... gay...f'd-up...Average community.
Mr. Bloodsage is about to discover today why his community is anything but average. For Mr. Bloodsage is about to step into...
THE TWILIGHT ZOEN
*cue freaky music*
Camera opens on a very confused-looking mastiff walking into the city of EverCrest.
Bloodsage: Something's awry today. Something doesn't quite seem right...but I can't put my finger on it.
Black Mage: Maybe it's because those two guys are dressed up like nuns?
Bloodsage looks at two offensive young men dressed in nun outfits.
Bloodsage: Karnaj! Vorbis! Tell us a joke, the mood's too down in here!
Sister Karnaj: A joke?
Bloodsage: Yeah, you know, a joke about anal bleeding or involuntary pooping.
Karnaj and Vorbis scream!
Sister Karnaj: MY WORD!
Sister Vorbis: Amen! What a vulgar young dog!
Sister Karnaj: I should say so! Get away, you foul-mouthed pup, lest my cane find your backside!
The two nuns hurry along.
Bloodsage: Hm...that's odd.
Black Mage: As odd as...that?
Bloodsage's eyes go agog as he sees a prairie dog handing out balloons to little children.
Bloodsage: Parcelan! What's the matter with you?! What are you doing?!
Parcelan: o helllo i m jsut handinding out baleons to awl the nice litel children b/c it is gud to do so
Kagrama: My word, the spelling on that fellow is atrocious!
Mog: Quite. Wouldn't you agree, Nem-x?
Nem-x: I say, gents, roofles!
Bloodsage: ...where am I?
Black Mage: Why, you're in TsercReve: home of the whopper!
Bloodsage: Something is drastically wrong!
Bloodsage grabs a passing, one-eyed cleric and shakes him roughly.
Bloodsage: Geeorn! Surely you must know what's going on!
Geeorn: No, sir. I'm sorry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be going. I don't really like the attention you're drawing towards me.
Bloodsage: Wait! Where are you going?
Geeorn: Why, to visit my friends Toktuk and Pesco at their gym and health food store. Afterwards I'll swing by Sister Nae's Conservatorium for some pleasure-depriving products and then Cadga's Janitorial Warehouse.
Bloodsage: Something is horribly wrong here...so bad...so very bad...
Black Mage: What's so bad?
Bloodsage: Where's everyone else? Where's Maradon?
Black Mage: He's too busy with Star Wars: Galaxies and his Game Cube to hang with us anymore.
Bloodsage: Snoota?
Black Mage: He's running for president.
Bloodsage: ...Densetsu?
Black Mage: Drug and alcohol rehab.
Bloodsage: Ohhhh, my head!
Black Mage: Why don't you lay down?
Bloodsage: SEE?! You're BLACK MAGE! And you have said NOTHING sarcastic in all the time I've been here! Where's everyone else?! Where are Drysart, Piper and Bajah?
Black Mage: .....Bajah who?
Bloodsage screams a scream that echoes throughout the world. Suddenly, an identical mastiff comes up behind him and places a paw on his shoulder.
Bloodsage II: Calm down there, lil' fella! Why don't you tell me what this is all about?
Bloodsage: Wait a minute...you're me...and you're NICE and helpful! ...and if you're nice and helpful...
Suddenly, the entire city starts booming and thudding as something huge and menacing approaches.
Random people: RUN! HE'S COMING BACK! FLEE! FLEE!
Bloodsage: Flee? Flee from what?
In an instant, a towering man wearing the skulls and bones of minotaurs comes rampaging out, spewing fire from his flame-lined maw.
Chalesm: What's the matter, pansies?! DON'T YOU WANNA PLAY FLAME-BALL ANYMORE?!?!
Bloodsage: Oh no!
Chalesm: Oh, so one little shit-licker decided to stay, HUH?! Well, I reckon I got time to flame one more jackass who gets in my way! Prepare to be SCHOOLED, bish!
Bloodsage: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Suddenly, Bloodsage awakens in bed.
Bloodsage: Oh, thank goodness! It was only a dream!
Chalesm: That's what YOU think, bish!
Fin.
I do say roofles, gents.
quote:
Adrecia got all f'ed up on Angel Dust and wrote:
LMAO.
5.0 from the French judge!
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Turning schicks on their head can be even funnier than playing on them.
In the beginning the Universe was created.Douglas Adams, 1952-2001
*rehab group* Hi, Densetsu.
quote:
Mooj had this to say about Punky Brewster:
I laughed! I cried! I joined a convent!
Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop
quote:
Eisuye's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
Vwee hee hee! PURE BRILLIANCE.
Weirdest. Laugh. Ever.
Yes, that's right, hot live sex!
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Mr. Parcelan said:
ZOEN
What kind of penile brain do you have if you can't even spell zone right? Why the hell do you think anyone should take you seriously or find you funny when you can't use a damned spellchecker?
It's not as funny when it comes back on you, is it?
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
Make peace, not war.
Someone find me a picture to reflect this statement. Because I doth proclaim a flame war shall be a brewing soon.
quote:
Liam painfully thought these words up:
This thread is funny.Make peace, not war.
Someone find me a picture to reflect this statement. Because I doth proclaim a flame war shall be a brewing soon.
Cease speaking?
quote:
Lyinar had this to say about Tron:
What kind of penile brain do you have if you can't even spell zone right? Why the hell do you think anyone should take you seriously or find you funny when you can't use a damned spellchecker?It's not as funny when it comes back on you, is it?
Except the people who he criticized weren't doing it on purpose to produce comic effect. They simply fail to grasp that if they choose to present themselves as they do, that the critical first impression made upon the members of this board is that they have the spelling skills of an autistic third grader.
quote:
Check out the big brain on Lyinar!
What kind of penile brain do you have if you can't even spell zone right? Why the hell do you think anyone should take you seriously or find you funny when you can't use a damned spellchecker?It's not as funny when it comes back on you, is it?
Lyinar, you rival Parce's stories in comic effect. Please don't ever get yourself banned, and don't stop posting, .
We support this kind of thing here, remember?
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
quote:
Lyinar had this to say about Tron:
Why? I didn't find it funny. It offended me. So I posted a completely uncalled for attack.We support this kind of thing here, remember?
No, you just blow everything way out of proportion and then use the enflamed truth to start a crusade.
Edit: I admit defeat. I failed to proofread, and as a result I had to change a verb tense in this edit. I am inferior. At least I try not to butcher the English language in all of my posts... [ 05-03-2002: Message edited by: Kegwen ]
You were against flaming people like this before, what changed your opinion now? It's best to stick to one belief; it makes you stronger.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
quote:
Lyinar had this to say about Robocop:
Why? I didn't find it funny. It offended me. So I posted a completely uncalled for attack.We support this kind of thing here, remember?
Tag. ^_^
How you can ever take yourself so seriously is beyond me.
quote:
Lyinar stopped staring at Deedlit long enough to write:
Of course I was against it. But that's before I found out, hey, it's the norm around here. People are okay with this sort of thing. When in Rome, right?
*shrug* Hey, it's the norm for college-aged people to get drunk, have unprotected sex, and toy with various partying drugs, is it not? Wait, that's a stereotype.
It's best to stop assuming everyone does this. That's like labeling all comic artists horrible just because of one talentless writer.
I could easily have just said "I'm sorry, I don't find that very funny." in a very nice manner. I could have pointed out succintly what confuses me or what I don't find humorous.
But as we've learned recently, people don't use that sort of tact around here. If they don't find something funny, they use it as an excuse to personally attack and belittle the person responsible.
I'm just going along with the flow.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
quote:
Comrade Snoota's fortune cookie read:
Drysart rocks.
