"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
quote:
Steven Steve got served! Steven Steve got served!
I have to have an operation on my rectum because I can no longer have a bowel movement without bleeding profusely, even if it's liquid, I am completely serious
And people laugh at me when I bring baby wipes to work.
And it's probably a deep fissure, if'n I had to guess. Are they dilating you?
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
Check out the big brain on Karnaj!
Are they dilating you?
There are no words.
quote:
Dr. Gee got served! Dr. Gee got served!
There are no words.
They don't usually do that anymore, due to the risk of fecal incontinence. Time was, they jammed a log up your ass to improve blood flow and allow the fissure to heal.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
I'm not sure how this development happened; I'm pretty sure it wasn't the ass fucking because it only started over a year after that. Perhaps I ate too many rocks or something? My blood pressure also tends to get high.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Also the possible surgical treatments aren't just dilation, there's also sphincterotomy (meaning they'd stick a scalpel in my fucking ASS HOLE and slice a bit of my internal sphincter, I'm not making this up, just imagine that) or the other option is injecting botox into my anus to relax it enough for it to heal. However by now I'd bet the lining of my asshole is so scarred up that they might as well just scoop it out with a potato peeler because I don't think anything less will fix it
At least I don't have cancer or something, LOOOL
Basically the Stroggification scene from Quake 4 is in my near future. Steven Steve fucked around with this message on 06-11-2010 at 02:44 PM.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
I might as well have been stabbed in the anus basically
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Still, it's disconcerting to get off the pot and have it look like a hog was slaughtered in the bowl.
quote:
Maradon! stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
I have a fissure too, but it only breaks open once or twice a year.Still, it's disconcerting to get off the pot and have it look like a hog was slaughtered in the bowl.
Same here. 
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Karnaj said:
Your anal rage is misplaced. Trust me, you'll be happy you're soaking our anogenital region in scalding hot water.
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Karnaj said:
you'll be happy you're soaking our anogenital region in scalding hot water.
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Karnaj said:
our anogenital region
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Karnaj said:
our
I've already soaked our anogenital region in scalding hot water of course, and it didn't work. I need a medkit or potion.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
1. Wiping with dry toilet paper
2. Wiping a dry ass
3. Dry shits (too little water in diet)
4. Hard shits (not enough soluble fiber in diet)
5. Sharp shits (eating sharp objects like nuts, seeds, shells, razor blades, surgical grade scalpels, etc.)
6. Using baby wipes - perhaps the soapy solution irritates the mucous membranes and dries them out?
7. Vicious ass sex
8. Having your anus otherwise attacked by some foe
9. Fixation with using wiping rather than rinsing for anal hygiene (this is basically the same as 1, 2, and 6)
10. High residual tension in the anal sphincters from stress (then stretched until snapping during shitting)
11. Huge shits
12. Physiologically incorrect seated position while shitting
13. Some other intestinal malformation that I can't think of
So try to avoid this stuff if you never want to be the Wolverine of anuses Steven Steve fucked around with this message on 06-14-2010 at 03:40 PM.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
quote:
From the book of Greenlit, chapter 3, verse 16:
there's a wrong way to sit when you shit?
Like, if you sit lotus on the pot is that bad?
Greenlit fucked around with this message on 06-14-2010 at 05:28 PM.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
quote:
A sleep deprived Steven Steve stammered:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defecation_posture#Disadvantages_and_health_risks
So, the decision is between suffering a stroke and anal bleeding. That's... that's...
I think I have to stop defecating. It just isn't healthy. Tarquinn fucked around with this message on 06-14-2010 at 05:41 PM.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
This insanity brought to you by Tarquinn:
So, the decision is between suffering a stroke and anal bleeding. That's... that's...I think I have to stop defecating. It just isn't healthy.
Yeah exactly. I wouldn't poop if I didn't have to. It's such a hassle having a colon full of fecal matter. The pressure... it is just too unpleasant.
quote:
Random Insanity Generator Model 2000 was programmed to say:
This thread has put the time I had a Vitamin C overdose in a whole new light......
Did you SHIT YOURSELF RAW?
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
quote:
Steven Steveing:
1. Wiping with dry toilet paper
2. Wiping a dry ass
3. Dry shits (too little water in diet)
4. Hard shits (not enough soluble fiber in diet)
5. Sharp shits (eating sharp objects like nuts, seeds, shells, razor blades, surgical grade scalpels, etc.)
6. Using baby wipes - perhaps the soapy solution irritates the mucous membranes and dries them out?
7. Vicious ass sex
8. Having your anus otherwise attacked by some foe
9. Fixation with using wiping rather than rinsing for anal hygiene (this is basically the same as 1, 2, and 6)
10. High residual tension in the anal sphincters from stress (then stretched until snapping during shitting)
11. Huge shits
12. Physiologically incorrect seated position while shitting
13. Some other intestinal malformation that I can't think of
God I'm guilty of about seven of these.
Maybe eight, but it's not really a fixation so much as a drastically superior way to clean your butt. Bidets leave a film but Europeans are always filthy anyway so they don't notice. Maradon! fucked around with this message on 06-14-2010 at 11:25 PM.
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Steven Steve said:
Did you SHIT YOURSELF RAW?
3 fucking days of liquid fire from my ass. I ate 5lb of cheese to try and "plug the hole", only to discover that I'm not lactose intolerant in any form. Harder than hell to play games when you're running to the can every 15 minutes.
quote:
Maradon! stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
God I'm guilty of about seven of these.Maybe eight, but it's not really a fixation so much as a drastically superior way to clean your butt. Bidets leave a film but Europeans are always filthy anyway so they don't notice.
It would probably be best to get a high pressure jet of water straight onto your cornhole and then wipe it a bit with paper. Less overall irritation I bet.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Wow, the things you find via Woot. 
quote:
Steven Steve impressed everyone with:
It would probably be best to get a high pressure jet of water straight onto your cornhole and then wipe it a bit with paper. Less overall irritation I bet.
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
Karnaj fucked around with this message on 06-17-2010 at 06:00 AM.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
