quote:
Bajah had this to say about dark elf butts:
Keep in mind that each scenario has nothing to do with the others... so using answers like "powers gained in 2 to do 5" is not acceptable!
Spoilsport!
Farmer. I don't have any delusions about being something crazy or luxurious. I'd be a farmer, plain and simple. And if not... I'd be the town eccentric!
Heal those who need it, harm [not kill, necessarily] those who deserve it.
Give my parents a long, long vacation somewhere, probably Ireland... Get them a permenant babysitter.
Turn him in.
Cry like a bitch. And try to find some way to take their place.
For music to be played, just to make it more dramatic.
First I'd laugh, because that's something I'd do in a situation like that... Then duck and cover!
"Oh snap, my dad and mom and brothers will KILL me if I fuck this up."
Electricity.
Money, lasers, a random key, contraceptives [grab bag on that one!], tylenol.
I'd freak out for hours. I don't think I could cope with lose of any of my senses.
See above. Worse though, because I rely on my sense of sound more then anything.
Be amused for a while about how many theories have just been disproved, and same as everyone else... start walkin'. Mainly to find something to amuse myself.
I would be a disgusting pervert. I'd see if the stigmas of women liking assholes is true, and if nice guys get any or not first, then I'd fuck every willing man and woman I could find. [note: this is assuming I still have the same libido I have now, as a female and a lesbian ]
Something intensely stupid.
I am an entomologyst.
Hurt them in terrible ways.
Leave quietly. Would probably be better that way.
Uma Thurman for both. The movie... Some fucked up action/sci-fi flick. 
Depends on my mood. ;D
[edit]oh snap, misread a question Ocyrrhoe Trazere fucked around with this message on 08-31-2004 at 06:14 PM.
Full sigpic image.
Liam - "Caitlin: You terrify me, but in a good way."
quote:
Bajah had this to say about dark elf butts:
- If you were alive in the Middle Ages, what would your profession be?
- You woke up this morning with a ability to heal others with a touch, or likewise cause injury with but a touch. How would you put this power to use?
- You won the $4,000,000 lottery. What's the very first thing you'd buy with the winnings (assume 2.8mil after taxes)?
- You accidentally accessed the CEO's computer in your company and found incriminating documents that could land him in jail and bankrupt your company. What would you do?
- A dearly loved one is dying of a rare disease and the only way she can be saved is by an experimental medicine that's not for sale. What would you do, if anything?
- You've been accused of treason and put in front of a firing squad. You're going to die, but you get one last request. What is it?
- You find yourself in the middle of a minefield during a hailstorm. What would you do to survive?
- You're a major league ball player in the final game of the World Series. It's the 9th Inning and your team is down by 3 runs. There's two outs, the bases are loaded and your count is 3 Balls, 2 Strikes. How do you feel right now?
- If you could go back to any point in time and claim the rights to any one invention, what would it be?
- You're given a job at Cracker Jack as a prize designer. What are five things you'd put in Cracker Jacks as a prize?
- One morning, you discover that you're blind. How would you react?
- Same as last question, but you're deaf instead.
- You've died. You find yourself on a vast plain with nothing in sight in any direction. There's no Death incarnation, no angels, no demons, no divine judgment. What do you do?
- One day, you wake up and find yourself to have completely changed genders. Not only that, but you're suddenly a very very attractive member of the opposite gender. Describe the next 24 hours of your life.
- The phone is ringing. You answer it, it's your mother. She's mad at you for something you did. What is it?
- You manage to get your dream job. What do you do for a living?
- You wake up from a coma to find that someone has been impersonating you for the last 10 years and no one knew the difference. What do you do?
- You've been recruited to be a star pilot by an alien race looking to bring in people from different parts of the universe in some kind of militaristic space UN. You decide to go. Do you tell anyone or just leave quietly? How do you prepare?
- You get hired to star in a new action movie. Who is your co-star? Who is your love interest, if different? What's the movie about?
- Cake or Death?
1) Oh, right. Like I know what I wanna do with THIS life, much less old ones Probably a baker, or other sort of food-related thing.
2)I'd heal my foot 
And then work on healing friends, and family, and I'd become a greatly known tent revival healer (mainly for the tacky sequinned clothes)!!!
3)I'd get my car fixed up, buy a house (nothing extravagant, 3br/2ba kinda place), buy a couple of friends new computers before I moved, and maybe a larger, secondary vehicle.
4)Ooh, ethics questions! This is really hard to say, with the evidence given. Depending on the files in question, I'd either turn him over, or blackmail him.
5) First step for treatment if the drug isn't available to the public: Clinical trials. If it is not available in the US at all, I'd check to see where it is available, and then make arrangements to get there.
6) Cigarette, and no blindfold.
7) Hope that the hail isn't hitting the ground with enough force to trigger the mines
8) Like Atlas.
9) The internal combustion engine.
10) mini colored pencil sets. bangly beady things. mini action figures. other stuff. (copout, ahoy!)
11) Freak out, then hit the hospital
12) See 11
13) Start wandering around. Try and change the landscape with my mind. Make up elaborate fantasies, and likely go mad.
14) Pick up men, pick up women, go have a hell of a lot of debauched fun!
15) Not telling her that I needed help with something, and likely did something stupid to try and cover it all up.
16) I surf the internet, and get paid $75/hr to do so.
17) Create an entirely new identity!
18) I tell those close to me that I have to leave on a business trip, and prepare as if it were any other business opportunity.
19) Action movie? Ew. I turn down the script, and continue looking for a good period piece.
20) Cake! I know you only brought three bits, but there's been such a rush on it!
quote:
Bajah wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
- If you were alive in the Middle Ages, what would your profession be?
I'm assuming you're talking actual Middle Ages, not, like D&D middle ages. If the latter, though, some form of sorcerer-type. Magic is cool, and I like it, and I want to write my name in someone's arse with my mind. If actual Middle Ages... that one weird, weird lady who lives on the edge of an assdangerous swamp, is knowledgeable in matters of religious and occult mythology and "magic", medicine... basically the wise woman, the witch, the solitary and vaguely menacing lady who knows too much to be comfortable about, but is too damn scary to do anything about. Plus I'd be the only one with any sort of bush medicine, and I'd be helpful if the situation presented itself.
- You woke up this morning with a ability to heal others with a touch, or likewise cause injury with but a touch. How would you put this power to use?
First of all, I'd goof off with it. I'd have a messiah day where I'd get a robe and just start screwing around in the street. I'd go to a hospital and help harried doctors out. I'd get interviewed by Oprah, because it's cool. But ultimately? Fucking superhero time. If I get superpowers, I'm becoming a goddamn superhero, and there's no argument from anyone accepted on this one. I get to help people while being really awesome at the same time, and hey, no one can argue because I'm SUPER!!
- You won the $4,000,000 lottery. What's the very first thing you'd buy with the winnings (assume 2.8mil after taxes)?
Plane ticket to California. Must see the Leo. Rowr.
- You accidentally accessed the CEO's computer in your company and found incriminating documents that could land him in jail and bankrupt your company. What would you do?
Seek counsel. This very much depends on circumstance. For example, what kind of incriinating documents we talking about? If it's sheep porn, then fuck it, I'm not going to land everyone out of a job just to get the guy. But if it's something truly dangerous, something that's screwing myself and my co-workers out of something we need, or some greatly illegal thing of the sheer size that it justifies the loss of jobs... well, I'd have to talk to the fellows, first. I don't want to spring anything on them, and I want to know their opinion. In something that affects not only myself but an entire group of workers, I'm not allowed to make the sole big decision.
- A dearly loved one is dying of a rare disease and the only way she can be saved is by an experimental medicine that's not for sale. What would you do, if anything?
This is where the superhero goes antihero, as I will jostle my way into the company that's making it, squeeze, bug, sneak, and if it comes to it steal the medicine if it's needed. I'd never go so far as to wreck it for EVERYONE, as if the medicine I was going to steal is the sole copy ever, but I'd, like, snatch away a lab guy or two, present my case, and offer them lots of stuff to make an exception and cook a batch of this up for me.
Then again, this also, sadly, depends on the person. If it's, like, my boyfriend, or my mom, I'm going to any length. If it's my distant uncle... well, I'll visit him in the hospital, sorry I couldn't do anything.
- You've been accused of treason and put in front of a firing squad. You're going to die, but you get one last request. What is it?
I want an hour with Carl. Whether in person, or on the phone, or whatnot, I want to spend a last bit of time with him, say my goodbyes, have a last bit of joy before the bullet happens. All else, no matter how loved, is inconsequential.
- You find yourself in the middle of a minefield during a hailstorm. What would you do to survive?
Well, since I assume I'm currently standing in the minefield, I must then assume the space under my feet is safe. Also, since an explosion muffled by large globs of earth is a lot less ouchy than an explosion muffled by NOTHING, I assume the safest place for me is in the ground. Hence: digdigdig. Be careful with my surrounding area, but once I get to a sufficient depth it's as deep as I can go as fast as I can go. Otherwise: carefully try and shuffle away.
- You're a major league ball player in the final game of the World Series. It's the 9th Inning and your team is down by 3 runs. There's two outs, the bases are loaded and your count is 3 Balls, 2 Strikes. How do you feel right now?
Well, since I suck at baseball, pretty damned awful. I'd also be slightly confused at why *I* am at bat at the moment. I'd probably try to fake an injury to get another, better player on. Or catch the ball with my face or something. I'm really that bad.
- If you could go back to any point in time and claim the rights to any one invention, what would it be?
Paper. It's needed for like EVERYTHING. It would be mine mine MINE! And I'd never be screwed when I need to quickly jot something down! Mwahaha! Though in a twist of irony, I'd probably die by infected papercut. But PAPER!
- You're given a job at Cracker Jack as a prize designer. What are five things you'd put in Cracker Jacks as a prize?
Number one: Two little action figure guys. Why two? Well, whenever you get ONE little action figure guy in a box of candy, it always kinda sucks that you have nothing to balance the guy against. No other little guy to strive with, or against. Hence, TWO little action figure guys.
Number two: A little action figure GIRL. A GOOD one. One without need for bouncing, exposed breasts, or a lame-ass power or weapon, or the need to sit behind the lines and monitor communications or the computer system. An ass-kicking, laser-gun-for-a-hand, badass, badguy-dismembering super-girl. She'd come with a little comic, in which she'd kick lots of ass and give hope to us poor females who liked to play with action figures, too.
Number three: Miniature potato gun. Because there's no such thing as an unhappy child with a projectile weapon. And fuck, *I* want a miniature potato gun. One I could sneak into work. Fear me, mwahaha.
Number four: Press-on tattoos, with one distinctive difference: when they come off, they come off all at once rather than in little flakes. So Chibi Moon might still only stay on for two days, but she doesn't get decapitated after three.
Number five: The Magical Mystery Crackerjack, one random crackerjack that looks exactly like the others, except for one major difference: it contains a hefty dose of LSD. Have fun, kiddies!
- One morning, you discover that you're blind. How would you react?
FREAK. THE. FUCK. OUT. Sad thing is, I'm probably halfway there.
- Same as last question, but you're deaf instead.
Like before, but lesser. It'd suck ass, yes, but not as much as not being able to see. Sight is pretty... needed.
- You've died. You find yourself on a vast plain with nothing in sight in any direction. There's no Death incarnation, no angels, no demons, no divine judgment. What do you do?
What else? Wander. Move on. Try to find something, meet something. And if that doens't work, gnaw my wrists out to see if I get to die again and go to someplace cooler.
- One day, you wake up and find yourself to have completely changed genders. Not only that, but you're suddenly a very very attractive member of the opposite gender. Describe the next 24 hours of your life.
Fucking duh. Literally. I'd goof around a little bit. Masturbate, duh, and engage in twisted little yaoi/nonyaoi fantasies. Wanna see what a blowjob is like on the other end, for example, and what it's like to squirt something upon orgasm.
- The phone is ringing. You answer it, it's your mother. She's mad at you for something you did. What is it?
Well, at that time it'd be 7 in the morning and she wouldn't have seen me for three days, so it's pretty much self-explanatory.
- You manage to get your dream job. What do you do for a living?
This is actually a job, though I heard of it when I was twelve so don't quote me or anything. Say you're a brilliant inventor, or writer, or poet, or musician. Someone so astronomically good at what they do, a well of brilliant ideas and innovation. So a country sponsors you. Puts you up in a house, gives you food, pays you buttloads. The job is this: You have to come up with ideas. That's it. Give them IDEAS, and you get stuff for it.
That. I wanna do that.
- You wake up from a coma to find that someone has been impersonating you for the last 10 years and no one knew the difference. What do you do?
Meet the chick. Ask ehr some stuff. One: What's she been doing while I was out? Any big changes I should be aware of? Two: Why the hell would you want to impersonate ME?!
- You've been recruited to be a star pilot by an alien race looking to bring in people from different parts of the universe in some kind of militaristic space UN. You decide to go. Do you tell anyone or just leave quietly? How do you prepare?
Sure shit, I tell people. Family, loved ones. Maybe get drunk sometime and brag about it. See if I can convince the alien types if I can bring up a guy or two, people I trust and I don't want to be without. My pillars of strength. Spend some time in training, a bit, getting into physical and mental shape. Get laser eye surgery, electrolysis, maybe a little light plastic surgery. Wanna look the part of the space hero as well as act it. Try to beef up my reaction time, my hand-eye coordination, as it ain't the best as it is. See a bit of the world I didn't yet, before I say goodbye to it.
- You get hired to star in a new action movie. Who is your co-star? Who is your love interest, if different? What's the movie about?
You know, this is an ass question to ask me, as I know practically nothing about actors and whatnot today. So I'll just tell the plot of it all, since I can't think of any co-stars or whatnot: A duo of women come into their own and discover their latent psychic gifts after a simultaneous near-death experience, and must use their joined powers to combat the physical and metaphysical manifestations of the being who ultimately created their psychic selves in an attempt to gain command over the workings of fate. My co-star would be an athletic girl, possibly a professional athlete though not affiliated with a sport or team, with the power to channel her psychic energy into her physical self, thus giving her temporary bursts of super-strength, super-speed, heightened jumping ability, limited flight, heightened agility, even invulnerability. I would be the other side, the out-of-shape and possibly overweight hypercognitive telepath, the one who can sense and influence emotions, read minds and memories, plant thoughts and mentally dominate in a limited fashion, project illusions, manifest telekinesis, pyrokinesis, hydrokinesis, "mind lightning", and at times even become mildly clairvoyant and/or prophetic. My love interest would be a manifestation of the main villain-entity, a being without physical form who can manifest in several physical forms... one of which happens to be the form of my murdered husband, who still commands great control of my heart.
- Cake or Death?
Death cake.
quote:
Bajah had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
- If you were alive in the Middle Ages, what would your profession be? Ye Olde Burger Kinge Employee...e
- You woke up this morning with a ability to heal others with a touch, or likewise cause injury with but a touch. How would you put this power to use? I'd get people to either pay me for healing or have the worship me as a god.
- You won the $4,000,000 lottery. What's the very first thing you'd buy with the winnings (assume 2.8mil after taxes)? An El Camino.
- You accidentally accessed the CEO's computer in your company and found incriminating documents that could land him in jail and bankrupt your company. What would you do? SEND THE FUCKER TO JAIL!!!
- A dearly loved one is dying of a rare disease and the only way she can be saved is by an experimental medicine that's not for sale. What would you do, if anything? If its not for sale, then how am I going to get it? Therefore, I will do nothing and greive over her loss.
- You've been accused of treason and put in front of a firing squad. You're going to die, but you get one last request. What is it? Let me shoot myself. I'd rather know that I was the one that ended my life then a bunch of nobodies.
- You find yourself in the middle of a minefield during a hailstorm. What would you do to survive? Nothing except stand still.
- You're a major league ball player in the final game of the World Series. It's the 9th Inning and your team is down by 3 runs. There's two outs, the bases are loaded and your count is 3 Balls, 2 Strikes. How do you feel right now? "Holy shit, I can play baseball??"
- If you could go back to any point in time and claim the rights to any one invention, what would it be? The PC.
- You're given a job at Cracker Jack as a prize designer. What are five things you'd put in Cracker Jacks as a prize? More Decoder Rings, those sticky hand things, tiny rubber band shooters, I don't have any other ideas, but there would be no more fucking stickers and removable tattoos. Those are the lamest prizes ever. >=(
- One morning, you discover that you're blind. How would you react? I would try and see if there's a way to get it fixed, and if there isn't, I would kill myself. I could not go through life not being able to see.
- Same as last question, but you're deaf instead. I could live with that. I'd try and get it fixed, but I would go about normal life as much as possible. Learning sign language would suck but I would do it. And I'd definitely learn to lip read.
- You've died. You find yourself on a vast plain with nothing in sight in any direction. There's no Death incarnation, no angels, no demons, no divine judgment. What do you do? Masturbate. For eternity.
- One day, you wake up and find yourself to have completely changed genders. Not only that, but you're suddenly a very very attractive member of the opposite gender. Describe the next 24 hours of your life. CONSTANT masturbation.
- The phone is ringing. You answer it, it's your mother. She's mad at you for something you did. What is it? I forgot to close the garage door again.
- You manage to get your dream job. What do you do for a living? I own my own successful video game/anime store and its making a good enough amount of money for me to live comfortably on my own.
- You wake up from a coma to find that someone has been impersonating you for the last 10 years and no one knew the difference. What do you do? I would chat with him to see what I missed, then I would play video games with "myself".
- You've been recruited to be a star pilot by an alien race looking to bring in people from different parts of the universe in some kind of militaristic space UN. You decide to go. Do you tell anyone or just leave quietly? How do you prepare? I tell all my immediate family and friends. Then I'd post it on EC. Then I would make a trip to EB Games and buy out the entire stock of GB, GBC, and GBA games.
- You get hired to star in a new action movie. Who is your co-star? Who is your love interest, if different? What's the movie about? Drew Barrymore. Love interest is same. Movie is about us having sex...alot. Ohhhh you meant the other kind of action....same thing. Except with guns and explosions.
- Cake or Death? Cake. I'm not ready to die just yet.
Mr. Gainsborough fucked around with this message on 08-31-2004 at 08:39 PM.
quote:
Bajah's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
- If you were alive in the Middle Ages, what would your profession be?
- You woke up this morning with a ability to heal others with a touch, or likewise cause injury with but a touch. How would you put this power to use?
- You won the $4,000,000 lottery. What's the very first thing you'd buy with the winnings (assume 2.8mil after taxes)?
- You accidentally accessed the CEO's computer in your company and found incriminating documents that could land him in jail and bankrupt your company. What would you do?
- A dearly loved one is dying of a rare disease and the only way she can be saved is by an experimental medicine that's not for sale. What would you do, if anything?
- You've been accused of treason and put in front of a firing squad. You're going to die, but you get one last request. What is it?
- You find yourself in the middle of a minefield during a hailstorm. What would you do to survive?
- You're a major league ball player in the final game of the World Series. It's the 9th Inning and your team is down by 3 runs. There's two outs, the bases are loaded and your count is 3 Balls, 2 Strikes. How do you feel right now?
- If you could go back to any point in time and claim the rights to any one invention, what would it be?
- You're given a job at Cracker Jack as a prize designer. What are five things you'd put in Cracker Jacks as a prize?
- One morning, you discover that you're blind. How would you react?
- Same as last question, but you're deaf instead.
- You've died. You find yourself on a vast plain with nothing in sight in any direction. There's no Death incarnation, no angels, no demons, no divine judgment. What do you do?
- One day, you wake up and find yourself to have completely changed genders. Not only that, but you're suddenly a very very attractive member of the opposite gender. Describe the next 24 hours of your life.
- The phone is ringing. You answer it, it's your mother. She's mad at you for something you did. What is it?
- You manage to get your dream job. What do you do for a living?
- You wake up from a coma to find that someone has been impersonating you for the last 10 years and no one knew the difference. What do you do?
- You've been recruited to be a star pilot by an alien race looking to bring in people from different parts of the universe in some kind of militaristic space UN. You decide to go. Do you tell anyone or just leave quietly? How do you prepare?
- You get hired to star in a new action movie. Who is your co-star? Who is your love interest, if different? What's the movie about?
- Cake or Death?
Answers:
1. The few possible choices are rather obvious.
2. Assuming I have the power to do both instead of just one, I'd use it to heal people who really needed it. Not the "omfg i broke my arm " people, but the "omfg i lost my arm in a grain thresher " people and the "omfg i have cancer and only three months to live " people. I'd also use it to inflict terrible amounts of pain on those that truly deserve it.
3. Assuming the $2.8M is in Canadian funds, first I'd pay off any bills I might have. Then, I'd buy me computer upgrades and shitloads of pizza, beer, porn, and chocolate. Pretty much equal amounts of each.
4. Blackmail is fun!
5. That depends entirely on what this experimental medicine is, but I'm going to assume it's a tangible substance. I would ask the person in question first.
6. I would cheat and request that my life be spared. Yar har har. Assuming I can't, I'd want to instead get drunk off my ass. Maybe I can dodge the bullets if I stagger around enough.
7. Depends on how large the hail is. But if we're talking the common, tiny pieces of hail, I'd stay right where I was. Moving in a minefield = BAD IDEA.
8. I'd feel damn good. I mean... THREE BALLS, man!
9. I would claim rights to the sword.
10. Oh man, there's too much potential to say something mildly amusing, yet sickeningly morbid. I'm just gonna skip this one.
11. I'd probably panic and run into a wall. I mean, it's not like I can SEE the wall, or anything... Oh, wait! I'd use my healing powers to restore my sight!
12. Same as last question, only I can see the wall.
13. In death, do we have any of the needs we did in life? If so, I'd probably be pretty hungry. I mean, it's not like the coporeal food in my belly when I died could be taken with me. So I'd find something to eat. If not, then I'd probably do all kinds of crazy shit.
14. No change. At all. Maybe if it was the next year of my life, but no change in a day.
15. Probably something about swords. Really. I like swords, but it seems my mother doesn't. In fact, it seems she hates them. She'd probably phone up to yell at me for having a katana near my computer.
16. Well, I would RULE THE WORLD! And make sure all the peoples played nice.
17. Well, first I'd find the impersonator. Then, I would likely beat him into a fine paste.
18. I'd leave quietly, and bring snacks. Plenty of snacks. And possibly swords. Hey, who knows: maybe some of the alien races I'll encounter have mastered melee combat and ambushes, so a melee weapon will help greatly.
19. Me, me, and the movie would be about clones of me duking it out Highlander-style. There Can Be Only One.
20. Cake. I'm not ready for death just yet. Unless, of course, the cake is made of death, in which case I'll just take death.
Callalron fucked around with this message on 08-31-2004 at 11:07 PM.
quote:
Ruvyen had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
5. That depends entirely on what this experimental medicine is, but I'm going to assume it's a tangible substance. I would ask the person in question first.
Actually, after some thought, I want to change my answer on this one.
We're still going on the assumption that this medicine is a tangible substance. And if it isn't for sale, then it likely doesn't exist in this dimension... But maybe in others. However, the god(s) of that dimension would likely not give up such a valuable substance so easily. Not only that, but the only way to get to other dimensions is by using keys found in dungeons and ruins of ancient civilizations. And those keys will likely be guarded by all kinds of shit. So, first I'd grab my sword. Then I'd grab my other sword, y'know, the sharp metal one. And I'd assemble a party of adventurers!
