Need:
Steak (duh)
Seasoning salt.
BBQ sauce.

Get steak.
Defrost steak in micromowave.
Take pan.
Put steak in pan.
Put pan (with steak still in it!) on stove.
Turn stove on HIGH for BURNINATION!#%
Sprinkle seasoning salt all over the steak, then glop some BBQ sauce on there.
Wait a moment or two, and flip the steak over. Put salt and sauce on that side too.
Wait a few more minutes, and flip the steak over again. Repeat this for a bit (not a tad, you need to do it for a BIT)
Before the steak starts to smoke, reduce stove to medium or so heat.
Go do something else for ten minutes.
Come back, flip steak over.
Stare at steak for two minutes.
Get something to drink.
Stare at steak for eight more minutes.
Done!

Okey, I have no clue how to make steak, but that seems to work well enough for me

And as for a recipe... Im a lazy guy at heart, so I dont really want to go through too much trouble just for a snack. So I usually head for the instant foods, such as:

Ramen
Mini pizzas (home made, or premade, both are fast and delicious)
Misc. Heatables (Samosas, rotis, and burritos/cimmechangas above all else)

I CAN cook pretty well, but I dont know any recipies off the top of my head. =/

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Liam thought this was the Ricky Martin Fan Club Forum and wrote:
Guys I have chicken breast and like, spices and shit.

I can find some more spices and stuff. I also have some tuna, and bread I think.

I need to make food.

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The chicken and spices thing is surprisingly good, and fast.

Try it!

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Peter attempted to be funny by writing:
Hamburger Casserole:

Ingredients:
Package of ground beef
2-4 cups of mozzarella
1 jar/can of spaghetti sauce
package of Elbow Macaroni

Directions:

Brown meat and drain of grease, Cook Macaroni, Shred mozzarella if needed.

In a large glass Pan/Dish combine the cooked meat and spaghetti sauce and mix in cheese if you feel like it. Then add the cooked elbow macaroni, and more sauce if wanted. When pan is filled enough, top with remaining cheese.
Meal is meant to be prepared ahead of time and can be warmed up in microwave/oven, either way you will need to cook it a bit more to melt the cheese on top.

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Do you layer the meat/cheese/sauce with the pasta, like lasagna, or mix it all together? either way I am so trying this one out next week.

1 box shell pasta
1 can cheese soup
1 block chedder cheese
bread crumbs

Cook your pasta according to stove top directions (or in a microwave safe bowl for 10 minutes). Drain.

While pasta is cooking cube the block of chedder cheese then mix with cheese sauce.

Mix pasta and cheese mixture then spread into baking dish. Sprinkle with bread crumbs.

Bake at 350 for 45 minutes.

Serve (and ketchup on top is nummy).

****

Stuffed Chicken breasts

2-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
Shredded mozzy cheese
Bread crumbs

Set oven to 350. Slice a pouch in the side of each chicken breast. Roll in a plate or bowl of bread crumbs. Stuff with mozzy cheese.

Bake on a foil covered cookie sheet (spray it with Pam too!) for 30-45 minutes depending on breast size.

Quarter potatoes leaving skin on. (unless you buy those cheap ass potatoes were the skin is shit. Cheap ass.)

On a baking sheet, sprinkle on olive oil. Then put the potatoes on the baking tray and toss them in the oil. Sprinkle with season salt, basil and garlic powder. Cook at 350F until crispy and golden brown.

No-Bake Cookies

1. Mix-Boil for 1.5 minutes:

• 2 cups sugar
  
• 3/4 stick oleo (butter)
  
• 1/3 cup milk
  
• 1/4 tsp salt
  
• 1/3 cup cocoa

2. After boiling, add and stir:

• 1 tsp vanilla
  
• 1/3 crunchy peanut butter (creamy works too as well)

3. Add 3 cups of quick oats. Mix until it holds shape. Drop onto wax paper with spoon and wait until it hardens.

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How.... Sakkra.... uughhhhhh:
BBQ sauce on any real steak is a crime. It's ok for stuff like salisbury steak, cube steak, or those little medallion steaks, but using sauce on a good porterhouse, t-bone, filet, etc. is criminal. As is cooking it any more than medium.

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Not if you REALLY like bbq sauce

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So quoth Led:
Not if you REALLY like bbq sauce

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Ever had Famous Dave's BBQ sauce? Omg pwn.

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ACES! Another post by Gomateux:
Who the hell peels potatoes?

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I peel them for a reason. Every time I buy potatoes, I find them full of thumbnail marks. Now I don't know why people shove their thumbnails into the potato, but I don't want to find out the hard way what was IN those thumbnails. And besides, the recipe has a strange taste to it (to me anyway)if you leave them on.

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Kennatsu painfully thought these words up:
I peel them for a reason. Every time I buy potatoes, I find them full of thumbnail marks. Now I don't know why people shove their thumbnails into the potato, but I don't want to find out the hard way what was IN those thumbnails. And besides, the recipe has a strange taste to it (to me anyway)if you leave them on.

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Hey, I do that!

-Take a bowl
-Put half a bag of tortilla chips in
-Put half a can of chili on
-Put cheeses on to cover it
-Add another layer of chips, chili and cheese
-Add spices (favorites are red pepper, black pepper and sometimes garlic)
-MICROWAVE!

You don't need dip for this shit, it comes built-in, yo!

[ 08-10-2003: Message edited by: Mr. Parcelan ]

Steak.
You must be picky here, dont cheap out on it. You want the mostly lean one, with light marbelized fat running through it. It'll run about 6-9 bucks. If you dont now what I mean, ask the butcher for a 8 dollar steak, he'll hook you up.

2 Coffee Cans
BIG fuckers. Somebody has one, look around. Wash it out really good.

Whiskey. Good stuff. Johnny Walker or better.

Course Black pepper.
Fine White pepper.

Ok, you need to mash both sides of the coffee can pretty flat, but not crush the can. it has to sit level, and have a flat top on which to cook the steak. use a hammer if you have one. Cut some long slits in one of the flat sides. Take this, and rub the slitted side with steel wool or a Chore Boy Brand Scouring pad. (Dorms have potheads, so Chore Boy is easy to find.) Scrub it til its bare metal on the grill side of the can. Dump some charcoal into the can, while it is standing up on its normal bottom, and light the bitch. Wait for the flames to die down, and knock it on its flat side. (Grill side up) Let the charcoals settle a bit. While doing that, drink beer, and dump some whiskey on the steak and jab it with a fork. flip, and repeat. Then, toss that bitch on the grillcan, and dump some pepper on it. let it cook about 10 minutes. Flip it, and repeat. Dump some water in the can to kill the flames, toss the grill in the dumpster (From the roof, if possible) and go inside and eat the steak.

EDIT!!OMG :
The second coffee can, is to place the first one on, if your dorm's roof is not concrete.

[ 08-10-2003: Message edited by: White Mage ]

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This one time, at Jajahotep camp:

Serve (and ketchup on top is nummy).

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YOU ARE A FREAK MISS.

My mom does that. IT IS NOT NUMMY.

1 Chicken. Plucked and gutted. Head on or off, your choice.
1 can beer.
1 whole lemon.
1 whole lime.
1 whole mandarin orange.

Slit open the skin of the chicken, in a circular motion, around the base of the neck. Cut the fruit into thin slices, and slide these slices under the chicken skin. Insert can of beer into chickens eviscerated abdomen. Take an icepick, and repeatedly stab the chicken, from many angles, and through the beer can. Wrap the whole thing up in foil, and bury it under some rocks. Build a campfire on these rocks, and about 8 hours later, the chicken will be cooked. Remove it from its grave, and rebuild the fire. Open the foil up, and skin the chicken, then put the chicken close to the flames, or put a grill under it. Roast it a bit to give it that nice pretty browned color and texture, and it'll also keep the moisture in.

Get yourself 8 ounces of dark or bittersweet chocolate. Mash it up good. Powderized is good here. 1/2 cup of whipping cream. 1/4 cup of butter. And, optional, either 2tsp of vanilla or 4tsp of liquer, whichever you prefer. Yummy with brandy, but your choice.

Throw the whipping cream and the chocolate in a saucepan and melt it all into one giant soup of yum, stirring occasionally, of course. Once it's all melted, add the butter, mixy mixy mixy, take it off and let it cool a bit so handling it won't cause your hands to die. Add the liquer or vanilla at this point, mixy mixy a little more, then stick it in the fridge for a while. Once it's nice and cool, yank it out and form it into little balls. Be sure to draw little skull-and-crossbones on them so they will live up to their Death Truffle name. Or I'll be sad. Roll in cocoa or powdered sugar or chocolate or, if you're a masochist, coconut shavings. Makes a buttload.

1.5lbs ground beef
2-3 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 beaten eggs
1/2 cup milk
1tsp garlic powder
1tbsp flour

Brown the beef and season with garlic, salt and pepper. Do not drain. Sprinkle the flour over the meat to thicken up the grease, then add the eggs and milk (mixed together is best) and cook over medium-low heat until thick. Add cheese, cook until melted.

A good way to eat them is to toast hamburger buns, slather on the meat, sprinkle with parmesen cheese and toast under a broiler. Personally I just smack it on a bun and eat it as-is.

Call pizzeria. Wait for delivery.

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KaLourin enlisted the help of an infinite number of monkeys to write:
Do you layer the meat/cheese/sauce with the pasta, like lasagna, or mix it all together? either way I am so trying this one out next week.

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Never tried Layering it, normally just mix the whole thing up, the only latyer being the a coveing of cheese at the top.

And Led..You defile the steak by putting it in a pan, if anything, you the broiler on your stove..or go acquire a grill or habachi, open flame is the best for steaks.

[ 08-10-2003: Message edited by: Peter ]

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Falaanla Marr wrote, obviously thinking too hard:
YOU ARE A FREAK MISS.

My mom does that. IT IS NOT NUMMY.

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Hah! I don't do it often. But as a kid, oooh yeah.. that was the way to go.