For this year's YULETIDE TREATS you may request one of five things from Parcelan!

1. Friendship
2. Apology
3. Condemnation
4. Absolution
5. Ignorance

However, just because you ask for something does not necessarily mean you will get it! You must place your heart upon the scales of Bajagon, weighed once, twice, thrice against a feather, a stone and a lump of gold. Should the weight of your sins be too much to bear, you will be BUMPED one category lower and get that, instead!

Choose wisely and Merry Christmas!

That's what I want from you, faggot.

This Easter an old man in a funny red outfit is going to smack me across the face.

Merry Christmas brother.

Tier is found unworthy of condemnation. Frankly, while I'll still bust out your transgender issues to make fun of you, it can't really be used as an indicator of any deviancy or social degeneration on your part. When people talk about the one black/gay/minority they like, they're talking about you. You're pretty genuine.

nem-x: I'm sorry you're not as cool as George Lopez. I wish I could help you more.

Trent: I've never really had a problem with you, so your absolution is probably not going to seem too overwhelming. Really, though, that's a compliment. As far as social rejects go, you're one of the better ones, letting no stereotype particularly dictate your attitude or way of life. You probably already knew that, though, so I cast you out to die in the wilds.

Dr. Gee: You are hereby absolved from being a weird fat kid for the greater part of your life. You've emerged to be largely alright, with a few excusable quirks. You've come far from the ugly loser who thought he was at all worth keeping alive because of his internet persona, so just keep going and hope it leads you to your rainbow.

Willias: You've always been a good friend, from the time I've known you to the time we played WoW together. You deserve this friendship and a piece of cake.

Mightion: This is a tricky response. I can't, in good consciense, absolve you of your sins; really, by 90% of the board's standards, you are rather loathsome. I imagine most of the people here see you as a creature not unlike a hobbit once, lowly and repulsive, though not inherently offensive. Lately, in fact, you make statements so dorky and nerdy that even Gains thinks you just like getting kicked around.

For those same reasons, I can't apologize to you, since you've never even once considered someone else's viewpoint to be at all right or even remotely bearing credence. Instead, when called on something, you just retreat further back into your cave and get even more defensive, making some retarded statement.

But you seem largely okay with these traits, so I offer you and you alone option 4a: Pity. The best anyone can hope for you is that you fade out quietly.

Tarquinn: You are hereby absolved of the sin of being German. Largely affable, regardless of nationality, you have earned the right to a new title. What do you desire?

Pvednes: Even if you are a raging atheist with a hard-on for Dawkins, you keep it to yourself and treat people with more religious respect than even I do! You have earned friendship well and gain a pot of curry for your woes.

Sakkra: You're unremarkable in every whey.

Suddar: We've been friends forever, but you pretend we're not, so WET WILLY FOR YOU.

Norim: Gee whiz, tex, don't act so nonchalant or you'll take the wind out of my sails! Maybe, just maybe, your lazy attempt to appear as though you don't care will win me over. Like an internet Zack Morris, you, too, shall be freed of all responsibility and earn the respect of everyone around you by sheer force of rebelliousness and not-caritude.

You're stupid and your kid is ugly.

Mooj: You are deemed UNWORTHY of ignorance and are hereby bumped back up to FRIENDSHIP. You get to be the poopdeck on the S.S. Friend Ship!

Oreowned: I bet we probably knew each other at one point. You're a pretty awesome guy...girl? Anyway, I think you played an Undead Mage or Priest, so that's pretty boss. You get friendship and a bottle of unpurified water.

Demos: I absolve you of the sin of being unremarkable, I guess?

LeMiere is deemed UNWORTHY of ignorance and is promoted back into the folds of friendship! GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!

I went to a sweater party (I meant to invite you) with my friend Tyler (you hung out at his house once) and he got blind, stinking drunk and I had to give him a ride home. Well, like another friend of mine, he puked in my par, but did me one better and puked all over my jacket, then stumbled out and urinated on my car wheels before passing out in twin puddles of filth.

So you are hereby no longer quite as cool since you've been one-upped, but we should go out and maybe have a drink in moderation or maybe chill with Lazzay again, it should be fun with a capital UN!

Absolution.

I thought we were going to start the pudgy, white-guy version of Wu-Tang as soon as we got a mixer and a van. Now I get nothing? Well, I suppose that's what being cloistered up in New Hampcha gets me. Pax vobiscum, gringo.

Absolution.

I don't feel so bad now.

We will have to do something. I'm free until school begins. Or I might be in Flagstaff if it snows again.

You've had some crazy nights, sir.

LeMiere fucked around with this message on 12-28-2007 at 01:40 PM.

Because everyone at EC is happier hating me~

Btw, you really need to open up a Dear Parce thread, so we can write to you with all our questions and troubles and have you answer.

Xian fucked around with this message on 12-28-2007 at 05:38 PM.

1. Abandon all your interests.

2. Go away.

3. Die.

I had thought at the times that I had given that life-changing advice the respect they deserved. I apologize again for not following it with more alacrity.

You strange, silly man.

quote:

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From the Book of Armaments, Mr. Parcelan did read;
Check that out, Mightion isn't taking no crap from nobody.

You strange, silly man.

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This whole board is fully of strange silly people. Some of us are men, too. If someone who wasn't strange and silly came here, we would find it strange and silly.