My grandmother (mother's side of the family) passed away this morning. She had been slowly slipping away for weeks now as her body shut down bit by bit. She had been unaware of her surroundings for the most part as well except when she felt pain. I was told she passed peacefully with my grandfather and a few of my aunts and uncles there with her and just before my mother and another aunt got to the room.

Being as this is the first death in my family as I said before, I'm not sure how I should feel right now. I'm being bounced between crying and feeling numb. For the last few years, her mind had been going as Alzhemiers(sp) or just plain senility kicked in and I had kinda distanced myself from her because I hated seeing her like that, only seeing her three or four times a year at family holidays. Now all I can feel is regret for time wasted and lost.

I've been through it many.. many times, and my last grandparent still alive is blind and has been in the hospital since sept. at age 89...I think it's harder to see them go through all of this than it is to say goodbye at times.