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Topic: Parcelan vs. the Carpet
Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-03-2006 02:19:38 AM
Religion tag used because I've probably been cursed by God.

It began a week or two ago, with a little wet spot on the carpet. This was not particularly baffling; I figured the boys might have just taken a wee. I cleaned it up, thinking that was the end.

But I could not foresee that this was just the beginning of my conflict with the carpet.

Over the next few days, the wet spot did not only linger...it grew. I threw a towel over it and thought it weird, but nothing to be concerned about.

A few weeks later and I have a problem. The wet spot has spread in a direct path to the couch. I've used, like, eight different puppy pads face-down to soak it up. It kind of smells like pee, but I don't know that the boys could make something this huge, given that they aren't prone to weeing in the house in the first place.

It has a sort of faint ammonia smell and a coppery-yellow tinge to it. My landlord/handiman came by and took a look at it today and his words were: "Holy shit."

We can't tell where it's coming from. I'm on the first floor of a two-floor building, so I don't think it could be leaking, and I would have noticed some kind of water damage on the ceiling. Assuming the dogs haven't been going tremendous amounts of wee behind my back, this could only mean that it's coming up from the floor somehow.

So, what do you think it is? A body buried under the cement? A burst pipe? What a mystery!

Caid '5 Fists' Berrit
I've had a few beers but I'm cool to drive
posted 05-03-2006 02:22:10 AM
Burst pipe was my first thought, I really have no fucking idea though.
'But if I had a shotgun you know what I'd do?
I'd point that shit straight at the sky and shoot heavan on down for you'

Bradley Nowell
Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-03-2006 02:25:46 AM

This is a diagram of the spot. As you can see, it seems primarily concerned with advancing towards the couch, leaving the bedroom area alone.

Snoota
Now I am become Death, shatterer of worlds
posted 05-03-2006 02:27:34 AM
Don't be afraid to fall back. There is nothing wrong with tactical retreat.

The Fro
nt
do
or shall be our last stand!

Unfortunately, it appears we are cut off from the bat
hr
oo
m and they will have to fend for themselves, unless we can cut a path through the wet spot.

Maybe the bac
kro
om can out flank the wetspot and save the couch!

Snoota fucked around with this message on 05-03-2006 at 02:32 AM.

Vorbis
Vend-A-Goat
posted 05-03-2006 02:30:37 AM
Snoota becomes e. e. cummings.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 05-05-2006 04:45:46 PM
Motherfucker. This thing is getting bigger every day.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 05-05-2006 04:49:04 PM
Are you sure your pooches aren't piddling there? Animals pee where they smell old pee.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

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