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Author
Topic: Quick Thinking
Jet
Pancake
posted 06-05-2005 10:56:06 AM
A senior citizen bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought as he roared down the interstate. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more, flying down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph!

Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." So, he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man ..."Sir," he said, looking at his watch. My shift ends in 30 minutes; and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The trooper replied, "Sir, have a nice day."

Razor
posted 06-05-2005 11:14:31 AM
That was good.
Astronomy is a passion...
Engineering is a love...
My job isn't a job, it's my career, and I love every minute of it: Observatory Superintendent
Gunslinger Moogle
No longer a gimmick
posted 06-05-2005 12:17:36 PM
I chuckled.



moogle is the 3241727861th binary digit of pi

Disclaimer: I'm just kidding, I love all living things.
The fastest draw in the Crest.
"The Internet is MY critical thinking course." -Maradon
"Gambling for the husband, an abortion for the wife and fireworks for the kids they chose to keep? Fuck you, Disneyland. The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the happiest place on Earth." -JooJooFlop

Palador ChibiDragon
Dismembered
posted 06-05-2005 12:21:05 PM
Heh.
I believe in the existance of magic, not because I have seen proof of its existance, but because I refuse to live in a world where it does not exist.
Naimah
In a Fire
posted 06-05-2005 02:50:33 PM
I chuckled the first time I heard it.
Mr. Crabs
Pancake
posted 06-05-2005 03:35:35 PM
That made me smile.
There's a King on a throne with his eyes torn out.
There's a Blind Man looking for a shadow of doubt.
There's a Rich Man sleeping on a golden bed.
There's a Skeleton choking on a crust of bread.
Kait
has made another completely pointless and off-topic post that nobody cares about
posted 06-05-2005 03:44:52 PM
If only that worked in real life >.<
"A black cat dropped soundlessly from a high wall, like a spoonful of dark treacle and melted under the gate."
-Elizabeth Lemarchand
Jet
Pancake
posted 06-05-2005 11:00:59 PM
A friend of mine's husband is a cop and she told me this story.

A cop was sitting on the side of the Highway with his radar gun waiting to catch speeding cars all day with no luck. (They have a quota you know) Finally a sports car goes flying by him and he sets his lights flashing and chases the car down. When he gets up to the window he says to the teenager driving "I have been waiting for you all day!" To which the teen responds"I got here as fast as I could officer!"
The cop laughed so hard he had tears running down his face, needless to say he let the kid go.

True Story

`Doc
Cold in an Alley
posted 06-06-2005 08:09:32 AM
quote:
Jet is attacking the darkness!
needless to say he let the kid go.
What makes that needless to say?
Base eight is just like base ten, really... if you're missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer
There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." - Mitch Hedberg
Please keep your arms, legs, heads, tails, tentacles, pseudopods, wings, and/or other limb-like structures inside the ride at all times.
Please submit all questions, inquests, and/or inquiries, in triplicate, to the Department of Redundancy Department, Division for the Management of Division Management Divisions.

Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 06-06-2005 01:49:12 PM
quote:
Out of a possible 10, Jet scored a straight 1 with:
A friend of mine's husband is a cop and she told me this story.

A cop was sitting on the side of the Highway with his radar gun waiting to catch speeding cars all day with no luck. (They have a quota you know) Finally a sports car goes flying by him and he sets his lights flashing and chases the car down. When he gets up to the window he says to the teenager driving "I have been waiting for you all day!" To which the teen responds"I got here as fast as I could officer!"
The cop laughed so hard he had tears running down his face, needless to say he let the kid go.

True Story


I've heard that one a few times, too

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