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Topic: Warfare on the high seas
Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-19-2005 06:50:10 AM
Bloodsage, the infamous pirate lord, passed on but a few weeks ago, but the effects of his departure are already felt like an earthquake through the underworld and across the seas alike as conflict rages across the waters.

Most prominent amongst these conflicts are between Bloodsage's two top lieutenants: Karnaj, in his ship the "Eviscerator" and Maradon, in the "Persnickety." Ever the rivals in service to the pirate lord, they now delcare open warfare on each other, each scrambling to assume Bloodsage's throne, as well as the mysterious treasure he left behind...

The favored of the two, Karnaj managed to secure the majority of Bloodsage's loyal pirates, and with their loyalty, most of his fleet and weapons. The upper hand, it appeared, was his.

Maradon, however, has been able to skillfully evade most of Karnaj's attempts to crush him. This, in part, is due to the inexplicable loyalty towards the lesser lieutenant from Bloodsage's chief strategist: Lashanna. None are sure why the brilliant tactician has chosen to side with Maradon, but nevertheless, she aids him with her incredible wit, allowing her to evade and engage Karnaj at Maradon's leisure.

This has greatly frustrated Karnaj, but not to the extent of the other forces seeking to aggravate his headache.

Too long terrorized by Bloodsage's rampage across the ocean, Chief Marshal Gydyon has finally seen (and seized) the opportunity to restore order to the sea and make it a safer place for all, free of pirates and other rascals. With the famed swashbuckler Bajah Bajington and Master Cannoneer Ja'Deth Detherson, he has gone out to quash this petty piratical civil war in the bud.

The attraction out on the seas has caught the attention of the infamous smuggler Addy the Swift. Though she wouldn't mind the throne of pirate lord, hers is a mission of vengeance. As an impressionable young child, she saw her father hanged by the ruthlessly anti-pirate Marshal Gydyon and swore vengeance. Now, aided by the piratical twins: One-Eyed Sean and Liambeard, she seeks to rise to the top of this civil dispute, using the bodies of Marshal Gydyon's men as a stepladder.

As war rages across the sea, no EverCrester can remain neutral. The call goes out for all to choose their sides.

Will it be Karnaj and the powder-packed, militant manpowered "Eviscerator?"

Will it be Maradon and the swift, agile and expertly planned "Persnickety?"

Will it be Chief Marshal Gydyon and his righteous "Fiery Wing?"

Will it be Addy the Swift and her shadowy, infamous "Blacksail Boid?"

Choose your allegiance or die in the crossfire.

Bloodcookie
Pancake
posted 03-19-2005 09:21:44 AM
*a grizzled fisherman chugs by in a dinghy*

What's all this then, eh?!


""...destructive analysis of the familiar is the only method of approach to an understanding of fundamentally different modes of expression." -Edward Sapir, Language
nem-x
posted 03-19-2005 09:37:02 AM
Gydyon will win. Because I said so.
Sean
posted 03-19-2005 09:40:03 AM
How am I supposed to fight or shoot with no conceivable depth perception? Harrrrrr-d.
A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 03-19-2005 09:40:57 AM
I pick Addy.

Just so I can complain about how messy her ship is.

Gydyon
Yes, I am a lawyer. No you can't sue them for that. Shut up, or I'll have your legs broken.
posted 03-19-2005 09:52:05 AM
quote:
A sleep deprived nem-x stammered:
Gydyon will win. Because nem-x said so.
Gydyon
Evercrest Lawyer

Thinking about your posts
(and billing you for it) since 2001

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-19-2005 10:15:47 AM
So do I have a fleet, or is it just the Eviscerator?
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Vernaltemptress
Withered and Alone
posted 03-19-2005 10:16:03 AM
Addy, cause no one can defeat the strength of "girl power!"
Obamanomics: spend, tax, and borrow.
Jania Arindelil
Is really cute and cuddly... just needs a hug
posted 03-19-2005 10:27:37 AM
Doin' away with pirates, ye say? Not on my shift!

Me an' me men are at yer service, Addy.


Jania Arindelil
Dragon Guardian, Grandmaster Archer
Very Cranky Person
"I'll torture you so slowly, you'll think it's a career." - Darwin Mayflower
Dymus Arindelil
I betcha its pink. Jania seems like the type to wear pink undies.
posted 03-19-2005 11:43:32 AM
Truly, tis my duty to plunder yon booty.

*points at Jan with his cutlass*

Yarrr.

...

Pirates don't really talk like this. Believe me, I know.

I know what color underwear Jania wears. So there

Run through the cold of the night, as passion burns in your heart.
Ready to fight, a knife held close by your side
Like a proud wolf alone in the dark with eyes that watch the world

-"Small Two of Pieces"
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 03-19-2005 11:59:42 AM
Ja'Deth rounds up his men, for a meeting as he has his assorted goons-er...cannoneers...load up the weapons. Deth speaks, "When Jan's ship comes abroadside, Big Deth will heave the cask of spiders over there. While Jan is screaming like a little girl, she won't be able to pepper us with arrows, giving the marines topside a chance to cross over and take Addy's ship."

Most of Deth's goons nod and agree, with intermittent "yars" and "ahoys" amongst them, but the giant golem-panda-thing, Big Deth, who is carrying two cannons over to the wall, pauses, and rumbles, "I Do Not Wish To Throw The Spiders."

Deth eyes his subordinate, "Why not!? You're the only one strong enough to heave a whole cask that far!"

Big Deth thinks a moment, then rumbles, "If I Throw Them, Some Will Die On Impact. I Do Not Wish To Kill The Spiders. They Are Innocents."

Plucky Cannoneer's mate R0x0R, a snazzy little fire elemental today, wearing a tricorn hat and an eyepatch, chatters, "Shall I keelhaul him, sar?"

Deth peers at R0x0R, "What? No. For one thing, he's too useful. We'll just enchant the spiders with stoneskin protection so the impact won't splatter them. ...Where did you get a hat that wouldn't burn? And why are you wearing an eyepatch? You're a cannoneer. You need depth perception. And why a fire elemental? You're scorching the deck."

R0x0R grins, a bit nervously, "Ah...uhm...Well, sar, yarr, I figured it would be useful for lighting a lot of fuses at once. Avast, uhm, yo ho ho."

Deth narrows his eyes, "Wouldn't water form be more useful?"

R0x0R shakes his head quickly, "No! No. Uh...No, sar. The, ah, swabby...sir. Keeps trying to mop the decks with me. And everyone keeps trying to toss me overboard as ballast in earth form."

Deth raises a brow, "And air mode?"

R0x0R sniffs indignantly, "I don't see why everyone else gets to dress up and I have to be the little crackling windbag."

Deth's eye twitches, but he maintains his cool, "FINE! FINE! You stay in fire mode, but stay away from the powder magazine. Big Deth! Load the spiders into the cask and we'll enchant them. But first, get those experimental high-penetration cannons to the port side! GET TO WORK!"

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Addy
posted 03-19-2005 12:39:11 PM
quote:
Vernaltemptress wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
Addy, cause no one can defeat the strength of "girl power!"

Yarrr!

Callalron
Hires people with hooks
posted 03-19-2005 02:00:39 PM
Bloodsage isn't really dead. He just went out drinking with me.

He only wishes he was dead.

Callalron
"When mankind finally discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be upset that it isn't them."
"If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll just go out and buy an ugly hat. But if you talk to a starving man about fish, then you've become a consultant."--Dogbert
Arvek, 41 Bounty Hunter
Vrook Lamar server
Hostile Makeover
Evil as chocolate covered thistles
posted 03-19-2005 02:04:10 PM
*sneaks her way aboard the Black Boid*
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-19-2005 02:18:40 PM
quote:
Aw, geez, I have Callalron all over myself!
Bloodsage isn't really dead. He just went out drinking with me.

He only wishes he was dead.


What happens in Tortuga stays in Tortuga.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Nicole
The hip-hop-happiest bunny in all of marshmallow woods
posted 03-19-2005 06:45:33 PM
I'll be the busty barmaid serving up strong drink in port... with a mysterious power that hounds me from my past...

Or, y'now, constant alcohol. Either's good.



I just spent
my last cent
purchasing this poverty.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-19-2005 09:28:16 PM
The first battle occured late in the evening in the Strait of Waiszton.

There, the war was kicked into full scale as Karnaj's fleet of five warships, lead by the Eviscerator, pursued Maradon's trio of small ships into a treacherous cove with jagged coral teeth. Hoping to put an end to Maradon's uprising, Karnaj rushed in with cannons at the ready and swashbucklers prepared to board and slay the upstart lieutenant and his tactician.

Maradon's small, agile ships allowed him to navigate his tiny fleet with easily while Karnaj's larger ships scurried to avoid being impaled on the coral. Laughing maniacally from the helm of the Persnickety, Maradon commanded his ships to hail gunfire upon Karnaj's fleet.

With an angry snarl, Karnaj brought about his favored long-range cannon: "The Firearse." Though it took some time to pack properly, he was able to launch a massive sphere of iron that took out one of his harranguers. The fight was on in earnest as Karnaj sent one of his ships to engage the remainder in close combat, where his massive guns would make short work of Maradon's pitiful vessels.

However, it was a trap, and as Karnaj's ship leered towards the remaining two ships, the vessel ran afoul of a jagged bed of coral that formed a massive hole in its hull. The wind carrying it took it far enough to ram into Maradon's remaining subship and both went down with the tide.

As Karnaj ordered all cannons to focus on the Persnickety, Maradon panicked and fled into a forbidden sea cave. At the cost of his masts, he managed to avoid death at the hands of the Firearse, fleeing into a realm where Karnaj's massive warships could not follow.

Angered at the loss of one ship and the severe damage of two others, Karnaj piloted his fleet out of the cove and back into the strait, only to have one injured ship be sunk by a sneak attack from one of Gydyon's iron-headed ships. Furious, Karnaj opened his remaining fire on the ambusher and sunk it, but his glee was short-lived as he spied a fleet of seven of Gydyon's finest barreling straight towards him.

Grimacing, he noted that the flagship was bearing the famed Gatling Cannon of Ja'Deth's design. In this weakened state, such a weapon would spell the doom of even the hardy Eviscerator.

Though Gydyon's victory seems guaranteed, the leader of this raid, Ja'Deth, has disregarded notions that the Blacksail Boid has personally come to sink his fleet with a small guerrilla army of ships.

With Ja'Deth's ships closing in, Karnaj's only hope is to reload the Firearse and disable the Gatling Cannon. Such a move is risky, however, and will take time...

...but perhaps he may yet recieve aid, as the dawn rises at the backs of a quartet of black-sailed ships making a beeline towards Ja'Deth.

Lenlalron Flameblaster
posted 03-19-2005 11:16:32 PM
I have a rowboat, with a cannon. All hail the Avokus.
Grammar is your enemy! - While being able to understand someone's sentences might seem like a good idea for a proper essay, complaining on a forum scarcely leaves time for such trivialities. Write fast! You're angry, grrr! Make that show, and forget about things like capital letters, punctuation, and verbs.
Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 03-19-2005 11:23:40 PM
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-20-2005 01:16:59 AM
Bah! It's a good thing these ships are all stolen, or I'd be really pissed! Load grapeshot and come about! We've got to turn their flank and broadside their frigates, that'll throw the whole line into disarray! Look alive, we might escape with their hides intact!
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Mightion Defensor
posted 03-20-2005 02:35:01 AM
Honor and justice to the high seas? Then I will side with the noble Gydyon!

With that, the noble swashbuckler Mightion the Brave kneels before Gydyon and Ja'Deth, offering his rapier to them, hilt first. He is dressed in at what first glance appears to be a dark gray sailor's outfit, but upon closer scrutiny appears to be a mesh of chainmail, with individual rings no bigger than a pencil's point.

The blue parrot on his shoulder however, rolls his eyes skyward.

"Bloody hell, there you go again... you can't just offer your services for a fee like the rest of the rabb... uh, brave citizenry, can you?" it squawks.

Monica
I've got an owie on my head :(
posted 03-20-2005 02:40:55 AM
I remain neutral.
Sakkra
Office Linebacker
posted 03-20-2005 03:55:12 AM
I am a war profiteer and shall sell to all sides, keeping them pitted against one another.

To Karnaj I offer a number of small fire sloops which can be set ablaze and launched at your leisure. Yay fire.

To Maradon I offer the mighty power of the chain shot. A carefully forged weapon of two cannonballs joined by a length of sturdy chain, these will decapitate a ship's mast like a sabre through a twig.

To Gydyon I offer shipments of sabres, cutlasses, and whatever other swords your boarding parties may need. They are forged from the highest quality Spanish steel, and worth their weight in gold.

To Addy I offer a number of small ship-portable furnaces with which to make hot shot. A normal cannonball will do horrific damage to a wooden ship when it is heated to be red hot. Just be careful while loading.

Mooj
Scorned Fanboy
posted 03-20-2005 05:02:25 AM
I have here a map to the island where the dread pirate lord Bloodsage buried his vast fortune. So vast, in fact, that I could never get it all back to my ship by my lonesome.

But, the question remains... Who do I turn to for aid?

Bloodthirsty and ruthless Karnaj perhaps, the apparent heir to Bloodsage's throne of infamy? NO! I would never live to see my treasure, let alone spend it!

Maradon, and the cunning Lashanna? More favorable odds, perhaps, but I've heard tell that their trusty Persnickity's days are numbered. Still, that sort of tactical genius could take me places if I play my cards right.

But do I dare to trust the corrupt government and their scurvy agents of justice? Marshal Gydyon's a dangerous man who wouldn't hesitate to put me in the gallows if I so much as said the word Bloodsage in relation to this. Besides, I hear that Ja'Deth's gunnery expertise is just a massive coverup for his dark secret. How's a treasure hunter supposed to get wenches if he's forcibly getting his timbers shivered, if you know what I mean?

I'll just have to stow away on board the Blacksail Boid until it leads me to Gydyon, which will also lead me to the two lieutenants. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Mooj fucked around with this message on 03-20-2005 at 05:03 AM.

Vernaltemptress
Withered and Alone
posted 03-20-2005 05:09:26 AM
quote:
When the babel fish was in place, it was apparent Mooj said:
I'll just have to stow away on board the Blacksail Boid until it leads me to Gydyon, which will also lead me to the two lieutenants. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

"Addy, it seems we have a stowaway on board." Nudges Mooj in front of her desk

"Whatever shall we do with these men that find there way aboard our ship?" Addy says running her finger up and down the edge of her dagger.

"We already have Mortious manning the oars by day and scrubbing the decks at night.... what other dastardly chores do we have?"

Vernaltemptress hands Addy a piece of paper. "You might also be interested in this. We found this map of Bloodsage's treasure on this scoundrel while destripping him of his weapons."

Obamanomics: spend, tax, and borrow.
Bloodcookie
Pancake
posted 03-20-2005 08:41:14 AM
*chugs back from the direction previously chugged towards*

Ye blasted briny brigands, scarin' all the fish with yer cannonades a-caterwaulin'!


""...destructive analysis of the familiar is the only method of approach to an understanding of fundamentally different modes of expression." -Edward Sapir, Language
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 03-20-2005 10:02:01 AM
Deth peers at Mightion a moment, "How did you get on this ship in the middle of Cap'n Karnaj's atta-oh never mind. You can be a marine, I guess, with the Marshall's permission, o'course. Welcome to the Fiery Wing, finest ship in this here navy, under the command of...well...the Chief Marshall, ultimately.. Can't beat that unless it's like a Fleet Commodore or something. In any case, prepare for combat! I want that foul-arsed understudy of Bloodsage's boat brought low!"

R0x0R, as usual, is facing the wrong direction, peering through his spyglass, "yarr...such pretty pretty island gir-wha? What are those black...are those sails?...oh bloody hell. Uhm...sar, er...yar heh, we have a problem."

Ja'Deth waves his hand dismissively, "Nonsense. Maradon has deprived Karnaj of speed, and with the Gatling Cannon nearly reloaded and Karnaj firmly in our sights, I intend to deprive Karnaj of his life once and for all."

R0x0R peeks through his spyglass again, "Well the problem, sar, is that there's four ships flying black sails coming hard on the dawn horizon sar. Could be the Dread Cap'n Addy, sar. Looks like she's got your sister's good-for-nothing hubby with her. I can see his ship, the Dancing Dybbuk, amidst the four."

Ja'Deth's blood runs cold as ice, and he snatches the spyglass from the little fire elemental and, after a brief moment of juggling the spyglass in his hands until it cools down, peers through it towards the dawn horizon, "Curse my eyes! It IS Addy!"

Big Deth finishes loading the Gatling Cannon, and taps his forehead gently in salute, "The Gatling Cannon Is Loaded, Sir. Mast-Breakers and Hull-Hollowers All Around. Also, The Deck Guns Are Loaded And The Mariners Are Ready."

R0x0R dances nervously, "But Cap'n, the Boid is coming..."

Deth allows himself a moment to scowl, but then his jaw sets and he nods, "No helping it. The Eviscerator is a sturdy ship; if we leave it unmolested, Karnaj will surely take advantage of us. Ready the Gatling Cannon, and fire as soon as you have a target. If we can't afford to stay here to duke it out, I want that ship disabled and floating like flotsam. MISTER R0x0R! Get that cask we have prepared for my sister. With any luck, Dymus will pull ahead of the others and we can release the spiders on him. See how well he fights with my sister screaming like a wench in the grasp of an ogre. MISTER MIGHTION! Prepare the Marines to repel boarders. We'll not be coming out of this without a bloody nose."

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael fucked around with this message on 03-20-2005 at 10:04 AM.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Lyinar Ka`Bael
Are you looking at my pine tree again?
posted 03-20-2005 12:15:29 PM
Lyinar comes up from belowdecks. "Would a little summer storm help, dear?"


Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 03-20-2005 12:57:47 PM
Yes. Yes it would.
Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Mightion Defensor
posted 03-20-2005 02:24:14 PM
Mightion draws his rapier, and bellows to the marines he commands. He had not been idle, for the marines are all wearing suits of the very finest chainmail he had been making.

"You heard the captain, men, draw your steel and prepare to beat these scalawags back into the briny deep! FOR HONOR!"

"For the fjords," the parrot squawks, a bit wistfully.

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