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EverCrest Message Forums » EverCrest Forums » Innoruuk's House of Ill Repute » Girl Problems
Author
Topic: Girl Problems
Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-02-2005 06:04:19 AM
I'm in kind of a tight spot here, guys.

I married a 101 year-old heiress in hopes of her dying soon so that I can get her vast fortunes. But now she wants to make love and she's shriveled as a prune and her vagina is like Deadwind Pass.

I can't murder her until she redoes her will, though. What should I do?

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nem-x
posted 03-02-2005 06:06:35 AM
Vato
Nem-X - :kittyjig: :: THEY'RE OH SO FUZZY AND CUTE!
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Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-02-2005 06:09:33 AM
quote:
Check out the big brain on nem-x!
Vato

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Pvednes
Lynched
posted 03-02-2005 06:16:25 AM
Turn out the lights and drink a bottle of Ouzo, you'll be fine.
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nem-x
posted 03-02-2005 06:19:08 AM

nem-x fucked around with this message on 03-02-2005 at 06:19 AM.

Nem-X - :kittyjig: :: THEY'RE OH SO FUZZY AND CUTE!
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Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 03-02-2005 06:21:33 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan impressed everyone with:
I'm in kind of a tight spot here, guys.

I married a 101 year-old heiress in hopes of her dying soon so that I can get her vast fortunes. But now she wants to make love and she's shriveled as a prune and her vagina is like Deadwind Pass.

I can't murder her until she redoes her will, though. What should I do?

1.

2.

3.

~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
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Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-02-2005 06:22:11 AM
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Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 03-02-2005 06:25:11 AM
quote:
Check out the big brain on Mr. Parcelan!

So THAT's what you truly mean when you're yelling 'FOR THE HORDE!!' all the time.

Thanks for clearing that up.

~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
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Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-02-2005 06:27:01 AM
quote:
ACES! Another post by Tarquinn:
FOR THE HORDE!!

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nem-x
posted 03-02-2005 06:31:59 AM
Nem-X - :kittyjig: :: THEY'RE OH SO FUZZY AND CUTE!
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Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-02-2005 06:35:21 AM
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nem-x
posted 03-02-2005 06:43:24 AM
Nem-X - :kittyjig: :: THEY'RE OH SO FUZZY AND CUTE!
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Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-02-2005 06:49:13 AM
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nem-x
posted 03-02-2005 06:53:03 AM
Nem-X - :kittyjig: :: THEY'RE OH SO FUZZY AND CUTE!
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Timpofee
Mancake
posted 03-02-2005 08:43:32 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan thought about the meaning of life:

BWHAHAHHAHA!
That is AWESOME!

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`Doc
Cold in an Alley
posted 03-02-2005 09:17:06 AM
quote:
nem-x is attacking the darkness!
Bonus points for this looking like a pressure cooker.
Base eight is just like base ten, really... if you're missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer
There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." - Mitch Hedberg
Please keep your arms, legs, heads, tails, tentacles, pseudopods, wings, and/or other limb-like structures inside the ride at all times.
Please submit all questions, inquests, and/or inquiries, in triplicate, to the Department of Redundancy Department, Division for the Management of Division Management Divisions.
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Manticore
Not Much Fun Anymore
posted 03-02-2005 09:17:56 AM
Is that a dog or a cat?
"France tried to turtle, but Hitler did a tank rush before they were ready. Just shows how horribly unbalanced real life is. They should release a patch."
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Sean
posted 03-02-2005 10:00:56 AM
quote:
Manticore Model 2000 was programmed to say:
Is that a dog or a cat?

Look at the leg. It's a cat.

A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

It's not something people hear about.
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TheOriginalZane
Pancake
posted 03-02-2005 10:14:11 AM
Fuck you parce.
The worst member of EC.
Live Journal
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Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 03-02-2005 11:54:03 AM
quote:
TheOriginalZane stumbled drunkenly to the keyboard and typed:
Fuck you parce.

This thread isa lot funnier.

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Maradon!
posted 03-02-2005 11:58:59 AM
Bite the bullet and do the deed.

Even if your cock rots off, you could just buy a NEW cock!

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TheOriginalZane
Pancake
posted 03-02-2005 12:58:12 PM
Why shouldn't you have sec with a 101 year old woman? I know why. Every pull a grilled cheese apart?
The worst member of EC.
Live Journal
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Taskmaster Bajah
Pancake
posted 03-02-2005 01:32:29 PM
Between your actions in the Burori thread and the creation of this one (and I believe you were given a warning by Drysart last time you made a thread to make fun of someone's personal life ie, Mightion), welcome to the Banned page.

Please speak with Drysart if you feel this is in error, since I know you can log an alternate account and read this.

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