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Topic: G.I. Joe vs Cobra
Ragabash
Pancake
posted 12-23-2002 06:10:36 AM
Zephyer mentioned GI Joe in another thread and, instead of hijacking it, I decided to just create a new thread.

There's something my roomate and I have been discussing as of late as we find ourselves watching G.I. Joe late night on Cartoon Network.

Why the hell did Cobra ever lose? They always had great plans. They had more people, some of which were actually expendable. Nearly all the characters were awesome. They usually had tons more firepower.

Their only flaw was they couldn't shoot the ass off an elephant. Hell, they couldn't even hit the elephant at all. If they just spent a LITTLE time at target practice they would have killed all of GI Joe on day one.

And personally, I never liked the G.I. Joe characters, except for Scarlet, and that was mostly because she had the gall to go into a laser fight armed with a crossbow.

Yes, I realise I basically answered my own question, but maybe this will spark up some interesting nostalgic-based discussions.

Then again, maybe this thread will die alone and unremembered.

Feed my hungry soul.
Akiraiu Zenko
Is actually a giddy schoolgirl
posted 12-23-2002 06:12:22 AM
Hey, Snakeeyes kicked ass!
The artist formerly known as Zephyer Kyuukaze.
Ragabash
Pancake
posted 12-23-2002 06:16:18 AM
Yah, ok, I'll grant you that I had forgotten about Snakeeyes. That's 2 out of how many though? hehe


Cool Snakeyes/Shadowstorm pic

Edit: Decided to link it for those poor modem users.

Was it shadowstorm or snowstorm? Argh, it's too late/early!

[ 12-23-2002: Message edited by: Ragabash ]

Feed my hungry soul.
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 12-23-2002 06:26:22 AM
Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.

Hell Cobra had the B.A.T.s! ROBOTS WITH GUNS FOR ARMS! AND FLAMETHROWERS! still got their asses kicked.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Ragabash
Pancake
posted 12-23-2002 06:32:58 AM
Yah, that's another thing! Cobra had like ingenuity on their side. They invented all kinds of things. Sure, G.I. Joe made some vehicles and stuff, but they just kept using the same old standard issue stuff. Ho hum, laser rifle. Ho hum, tank with a 40mm gun. A standard jet fighter. The most innovative thing I remember them making was the Hovercraft, but hell, that was just a gun boat built on top of a hovercraft base...

Cobra had B.A.Ts, those one man flying ship things, Gene spliced creations. I wouldn't be surprised if they thought up the lasers first and G.I. Joe just stole it from them.

Feed my hungry soul.
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 12-23-2002 06:42:56 AM
eh...GI Joe had the Conquest-X30. And the space shuttle.

On the other hand, Cobra had the Terrordrome.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Palador ChibiDragon
Dismembered
posted 12-23-2002 11:16:28 AM
Why did Cobra allways lose? Two reasons:

Language: As you may recall, the people in charge of Cobra all spoke English when ordering troups around. However, most of their main line troups were from countries that would be actually better off with Cobra in charge. Often, they didn't speak any English at all.

When they see Cobra Commander or Destro pointing at someone and yelling, they just know that they're being paid to try and fight whomever's being pointed at, but they don't know why. So, they don't really get into it, and fight half-assed. Plus, with leaders like Cobra Commander and Zartan, they surrender just to get away from their own side.

The few that DO speak English appear compentent in comparision, and quickly get promoted to jobs such as communications and supply. They're not really able to handle these jobs (if they were, they would have real jobs), so they tend to mess things up.

This also explains the BATs. They may be impressive robots, but how often do think Cobra gets trained robotics programmers?

Drugs: Between missions, Cobra has to deal with large amounts of bored people with laser weapons, namely the Cobra troops. So, drugs are allowed during down time.

Even if the main effects of the drugs have worn off by the time they go into battle, withdrawl's wonderful effects tend to help create the incredible performance that Cobra troops are known for.

I believe in the existance of magic, not because I have seen proof of its existance, but because I refuse to live in a world where it does not exist.
Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 12-23-2002 12:23:53 PM
Same reason the empire lost to a few unwashed rebels.

Tactical surprise!

~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Deathbeam Warhero
Pancake
posted 12-24-2002 12:48:42 AM
G.I. Joe had Sgt. Slaughter, Cobra didn't. It's as simple as that.
Comrade Snoota
Communist
Da, Tovarisch!
posted 12-24-2002 01:11:23 AM
The first issue of the new GI Joe comic:

Destro: You intend to take your ragtag militia of an army, merge with a glorified bike gang, and give them control of the most powerful weapon since the atom bomb? YOU BUFFOON!

Cobra Commander: But this is how Cobra has always run!

Edit: And the new GI Joe comic kind of fixed some of those things. Like the number difference.. I stopped reading the new comic at issue five or so since I don't live near any comic book shops nor have a car so I just stopped getting them, but at that point the "new" GI Joe was the "old" GI Joe come out of retirement to lead a new branch of the Military. It's more than just the core members now, they have just as many expendable nobody's as Cobra. In fact, the second issue had Cobra beating GI Joe in a battle while wiping out an entire platoon of Joes.

[ 12-24-2002: Message edited by: Comrade Snoota ]

You smell that? Do you smell that? ...Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory.
Freschel Spindrift
Caucasian
posted 12-24-2002 01:37:40 AM
As I remember Cobra Commander had a son. I wonder what ever happen to him. BTW you all have been forgetting Serpentore (spelling please). Was he's something that never should of happened or what?
Who's that crazy kook that's destroying the world. It's Zorc (That's me) It's Zorc and Pals.
Bakura: Did you forget our anniversary, again? (laughter)
Zorc: Yes, I was busy destroying the world (laughter) Slaughtering millions. (Laughter)
Bakura: That's my Zorc.
The blood of the innocents will flow without end. His name is Zorc, and he's destroying the world.
Comrade Snoota
Communist
Da, Tovarisch!
posted 12-24-2002 01:42:50 AM
quote:
Freschel Spindrift had this to say about Punky Brewster:
As I remember Cobra Commander had a son. I wonder what ever happen to him.

He became one of Snakeye's students and tried to live his own life in Scottland, or somewhere out there.

You smell that? Do you smell that? ...Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory.
Ragabash
Pancake
posted 12-24-2002 02:13:00 AM
Personally, I never liked Sgt Slaughter. I didn't feel he really added anything to the Joes. Except for being the only one with an actual Rank heh. But hell, Sgt Slaughter was captured quite easily thanks to one of Cobra's plans. It was only because of stupid Cobra upstarts trying to overthrow Cobra Commander that they didn't kill Slaughter.

Snoota, although I own like 50 old G.I. Joe comics, I have yet to actually read any of them, let alone the new ones. I was mainly referring to the Tv series. That's cool that they actually got expendable Joe's now though.

As far as Serpentor, I only ever saw the episodes(movie?) where he was created. I didn't like Cobra Commander being overthrown though, I'll tell ya that! heh.

I admit, I know very little about G.I Joe though. Maybe if I read the comics I would find that Cobra in fact does win some of the time or something. *shrug*

Was Cobra Commander's son human?

Feed my hungry soul.
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