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Topic: Jesus Christ was a time-traveling master of nanotechnology
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-26-2002 04:53:40 PM
Think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Some guy in the far future where nanotechnology reigns and time travel is possible goes back in time and becomes Jesus Christ. He uses his nanobots to perform miracles, such as turning water into wine and healing lepers. After he is crucified, killed and laid to rest his nanobots revive him and give him the super strength needed to move that big ass boulder in front of his tomb. And that stuff about him returning someday is when he travels into the future of now (but still the past for him) to teach the now-ready world the wonders of nanotechnology.

HA!

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 11-26-2002 04:56:40 PM
Yeah, I'm bored too.

Wanna go play some games or something?

JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-26-2002 05:06:58 PM
Nah, I kinda gotta get the house all cleaned up.
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Bajah
Thooooooor
posted 11-26-2002 05:09:09 PM
You should get started, then!
Dr Cysa
Angsty Mcangst
posted 11-26-2002 05:10:27 PM
I think he was a high level cleric, but I am delusional.
I don't discriminate...I hate everyone.
Deathbeam Warhero
Pancake
posted 11-26-2002 05:10:34 PM
Bajah, your sig is quite bouncy!
JooJooFlop
Hungry Hungry Hippo
posted 11-26-2002 05:13:08 PM
If that gif were larger you would notice the nipples pop out.
I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."
Goma
Pancake
posted 11-26-2002 10:33:39 PM
JooJoo, that theory makes alot of sense.

Or he was some high level super red mage, and cast Life 3 and just got revived after he died. Used float to walk over water.

On another note, I think you should hunt down the Hyperion novel series, JooJoo. Its sweet, and has alot to do with religion! After the end of the series, you're overall reaction will be "woah". Great sci fi, with lots of guns and space ships and a crazy alien cyborg that sexors you on sight, but it turns out its your best friends daughter that came back from the future, so its okay, and stuff.

And the best part of the book... The Shrike. This robot/man/beast is unbeatable by ANY PERSON YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF FROM ANY COMIC/NOVEL/TV SHOW.

The Shrike has 4 arms, made of some super space age alloy thats virtually INDESTRUCTABLE. Oh, and this alloy has been cut into thorns, his whole body is like a mass of indestructable razorwire.

The shrike can bend time and space, travel at INSANE speeds, expand his jaws so it can swallow your head whole. The speed, defense and offense of this machine is unmatchable.

And nobody say Magneto. The shrike knows EVERYTHING. He'll just appear from NOWHERE and disembowel him before he could process a single thought.

I just realised that my post is too long, and far off topic. Ill stfu now.

Edit: Sorry, couldnt help myself =/
http://web2.iadfw.net/tharvia/hugo_authors/simmons.html

[ 11-26-2002: Message edited by: Gomateux ]

Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 11-26-2002 10:36:47 PM
quote:
Gomateux obviously shouldn't have said:
I LIKE BOOKS AHAHA.

Wanna lend me the first one? I just finished another Clancy novel, and I need reading material.

Goma
Pancake
posted 11-26-2002 10:39:33 PM
Alrighty, im sure dad wouldnt mind.
Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 11-26-2002 10:41:50 PM
quote:
Gomateux had this to say about Captain Planet:
Alrighty, im sure dad wouldnt mind.

Thanks

Goma
Pancake
posted 11-26-2002 10:42:36 PM
quote:
Praetor Liam had this to say about pies:
Thanks

No problem.

`Doc
Cold in an Alley
posted 11-26-2002 11:22:20 PM
I'd actually be more prone to apply this theory of yours to Egyptian, Greek, and Roman deities. The difficulty with applying that theory to Jesus is that people actually saw Jesus on a regular basis, giving sermons. And my Catholic friends never mentioned anything about turning water to wine or the like. Supposedly he was just like any other person in life.

I wouldn't know first hand though. Because I'm Jewish, and according to the sources I trust, Jesus was also Jewish. And many Christian religions assert that Jesus wasn't Jewish because he was the son of God so he must have been Christian. Therefore, if Jesus was a Christian Scientist who turned water to wine and healed lepers with a touch, I really wouldn't know where he got his powers from, but he should've kept quiet about them so we wouldn't have so many Christian Scientists letting their children die.

Base eight is just like base ten, really... if you're missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer
There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." - Mitch Hedberg
Please keep your arms, legs, heads, tails, tentacles, pseudopods, wings, and/or other limb-like structures inside the ride at all times.
Please submit all questions, inquests, and/or inquiries, in triplicate, to the Department of Redundancy Department, Division for the Management of Division Management Divisions.

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 11-26-2002 11:46:53 PM
quote:
Ford Prefect had this to say about Tron:
I'd actually be more prone to apply this theory of yours to Egyptian, Greek, and Roman deities. The difficulty with applying that theory to Jesus is that people actually saw Jesus on a regular basis, giving sermons. And my Catholic friends never mentioned anything about turning water to wine or the like. Supposedly he was just like any other person in life.

I wouldn't know first hand though. Because I'm Jewish, and according to the sources I trust, Jesus was also Jewish. And many Christian religions assert that Jesus wasn't Jewish because he was the son of God so he must have been Christian. Therefore, if Jesus was a Christian Scientist who turned water to wine and healed lepers with a touch, I really wouldn't know where he got his powers from, but he should've kept quiet about them so we wouldn't have so many Christian Scientists letting their children die.


Given that prior to Jesus's life there were no Christians (the sect plain didn't exist), along with other concepts (the fact he was treated as a judge, etc), popular belief these days is that Jesus was in fact a Jewish rabbi. Furthermore, the anglicized skinny white dude with a beard we're all used to seeing is probably a false image too (albeit he likely wasn't a black dude, as "Dogma" hypothesizes). Chances are he was of Jewish or Middle-Eastern racial background.

What people plain don't want to accept is that 95% of what we consider to be Christian (that is to say "pertaining to Christ/Jesus") fact was invented sometime in the dark/middle ages. For years, Christianity was wary about denouncing Judaism...it's sort of like denouncing your parents.

That's why, in fact, things went down in Spain during the 1400's like they did. Ferdinand and Isabella were pushing the Moors out, then your high school history book tells you that they turned on the Jews. In fact, it was more like "We're going to give you two choices: 1. you convert to Christianity, we'll keep an eye on you, and you can stay... or 2. You can keep your faith, leave all your financial means behind, and go." There was very little actual murder of Jews (Inquisition not withstanding...those guys were rather intense) because official Church policy was fuzzy, and the Church was still dealing with the whole "Pope of France/Pope of Rome" thing from the late 1300's. It couldn't handle a severe conflict of religion.

[ 11-26-2002: Message edited by: Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael ]

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Drysart
Pancake
posted 11-27-2002 12:18:37 AM
quote:
This one time, at Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael camp:
Ferdinand and Isabella were pushing the Moors out

the CARD says MOOPS!

Steven Steve
posted 11-27-2002 12:19:41 AM
I LIKE THE KASUMI IN YOUR SIGNATURE BAJAH
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 11-27-2002 12:20:58 AM
quote:
Drysart said this about your mom:
the CARD says MOOPS!

Gya ha ha ha ha!

OtakuPenguin
Peels like a tangerine, but is juicy like an orange.
posted 11-27-2002 01:04:00 AM
Dr. Strange would school this Shrike Joker
..:: This Is The Sound Of Settling ::..
Goma
Pancake
posted 11-28-2002 05:36:32 PM
quote:
OtakuPenguin's unholy Backstreet Boys obsession manifested in:
Dr. Strange would school this Shrike Joker

Yeah, if he holds STILL. Dr. Strange would need at least a good half second to focus his thoughts, too fucking bad he'll be dead before one more little electron reaches his cornea (esentially saying the shrike will move faster than light, and decapatate the fucker)

But dont get me wrong, the Shrike isnt TOTALLY indestructable. In the third book there was a war between HUNDREDS of them, and THOUSANDS of creatures known as "ousters" who had these shift suits that pretty much mimic the shrike's powers, but they arent as durable as the shrike's armor. Ousters won, in the end.

Alek
Not The Rapist
posted 11-28-2002 06:04:55 PM
A time elemental would own Shrike. Either that or Ptah of the Egyptian mythos.
"Love wisdom, and she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will bring you honour. She will be your crowning glory."
-Proverbs 4:8-9
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 11-28-2002 06:10:16 PM
quote:
Drysart had this to say about Optimus Prime:
the CARD says MOOPS!

I don't get it heh. 'splain please.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 11-28-2002 06:12:02 PM
quote:
Gomateux's fortune cookie read:
Yeah, if he holds STILL. Dr. Strange would need at least a good half second to focus his thoughts, too fucking bad he'll be dead before one more little electron reaches his cornea (esentially saying the shrike will move faster than light, and decapatate the fucker)

But dont get me wrong, the Shrike isnt TOTALLY indestructable. In the third book there was a war between HUNDREDS of them, and THOUSANDS of creatures known as "ousters" who had these shift suits that pretty much mimic the shrike's powers, but they arent as durable as the shrike's armor. Ousters won, in the end.


Flash would kick the Shrike's ass. Silver Surfer (hell any of the cosmic Marvel or DC character) could spank the Shrike.

Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

King Parcelan
Chicken of the Sea
posted 11-28-2002 07:10:03 PM
quote:
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael had this to say about the Spice Girls:
I don't get it heh. 'splain please.

Seinfeld joke, dork.

Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 11-28-2002 10:40:13 PM
Thank you.
Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

OtakuPenguin
Peels like a tangerine, but is juicy like an orange.
posted 11-28-2002 10:41:54 PM
Bah. Dr. Strange would find a way, he always does.
..:: This Is The Sound Of Settling ::..
Ja'Deth Issar Ka'bael
I posted in a title changing thread.
posted 11-28-2002 10:43:36 PM
Agreed. Superheroes are all about hope. They always find a way.
Lyinar's sweetie and don't you forget it!*
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. -Roy Batty
*Also Lyinar's attack panda

sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me

Alek
Not The Rapist
posted 11-28-2002 10:44:31 PM
quote:
From the book of OtakuPenguin, chapter 3, verse 16:
Bah. Dr. Strange would find a way, he always does.

Dr. Strange has more magical artifacts than anyone else so I would assume he could dominate them.

"Love wisdom, and she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will bring you honour. She will be your crowning glory."
-Proverbs 4:8-9
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