I've typed up a rough draft of my Duke admissions essay on Evercrest. Tell me how it looks.

The forum: A place of intellectual wealth

The internet can stimulate, entertain, perplex, satisfy, and even pollute the fragile human mind. Until my sophomore year, I had used it merely to entertain. Reading web comics, playing games, and the occasional research project filled my time that I spent on my computer. Yet one day, that all changed.
I had read a particular webcomic, one named Evercrest, for quite a while. Out of
Sheer boredom, I had decided that I would just glance at the community board. I arrived there, and it was just like high school all over again. Here I was, even with the shield of a computer, all by myself, in a lone world full of people of all ages and backgrounds, and I was too afraid to even type a simple hello message. So, for a month or so, I really stayed in the background, reading, learning more and more about the ‘community’.
What I saw amazed me. There was an abundance of… everything. Stupidity, humor, randomness, anger, cheer… whatever emotion I could think of, it could be found there. Simple words conveyed so much. What is interesting is that it was its own culture, in fact. New words were developed, rules and laws were made, people interacted in their own special way.
What has really amazed me over the time I have observed were the discussions. With all the unique people that visited there, a broad range of opinions were covered. Opinions on certain issues that I would never have dreamed of taking were defended as if they were right! This forced me to realize and ruminate over their point of view, and better my understand of the entire issue at hand, by keeping an open mind. And there were many people who were experts at debating, so, I watched how one can truly defend his or her point, an important skill in a world such as today. Even by watching my mind was sharpened.
I took one step further, though. I introduced myself and made my presence known. Each post that I made forced me to craft my words carefully and intelligently to properly express myself, as I lacked other means to convey my real meaning. Even posts in jest needed to be well-worded, as that was the only means to express humor. Word choice meant everything. The ability to which you could write reflected how powerful you could influence the minds of others. I found out that I did not just have to be intelligent, but I have to show it in what I say. This fact alone helped me better convey what intelligence I held.
It had one more interesting aspect occurred: It helped mature me in many ways. Because they were such a unique culture, they were able to keep a level of intellectualism in every post. Essentially, it was survival of the fittest. If you weren’t smart enough to keep out of trouble or to slip up, then you didn’t make the cut and were eliminated (The bar was low, though, so, it wasn’t extremely elitist.) Even on my first post, I fell into trouble by using ‘gay’ in a demeaning manner, something which I should not have done. Throughout the year or so I have been on the forums, I have seen reasoning that I have never dreamed of, and I have applied it to my rationale. By joining it, I became more intellectually diverse; capable of seeing two sides of the proverbial coin. It has made me into a mentally tougher person, able to fend off the arrows and slings of words.
Although the learning process with painful at times, and joyous at others, I feel it has made me into a more intelligent person. I had never expected that a simple forum for people to post their thoughts would influence me in levels that I did not expect. In all, I believe that the forums have profoundly impacted my way of thinking, and even who I am today.

quote:

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The Black Mage... stopped beating up furries long enough to write:
Wow, does that sound... So... Not... Like... You...

---

I think I tried too hard. :-(

But, however, most of that IS true...I just might have overstated it. I am a very different, at least slightly more mature person now than I was at the very beginning.

[ 07-17-2002: Message edited by: Lenlalron ]

I'll let Deth handle any grammatical errors there might be. I was mostly going for the sound of it. *He's* the future English teacher. Needs the practice

Could you double space the line breaks? At least on the forums? Please? I'd read it then.

quote:

---

Nobody really understood why Mr. Wilams wrote:
I...I'm sorry, I know it'll sound stupid and nitpicky, but...

Could you double space the line breaks? At least on the forums? Please? I'd read it then.

---

Wait till morning. :P

quote:

---

Lenlalron was listening to Cher while typing:
Last thread for tonight. Promise. But this is actually important.

I've typed up a rough draft of my Duke admissions essay on Evercrest. Tell me how it looks.

The forum: A place of intellectual wealth

The internet can stimulate, entertain,

perplex, satisfy, and even pollute the

fragile human mind. Until my sophomore

year, I had used it merely to entertain.

Reading web comics, playing games, and the

occasional research project filled my time

that I spent on my computer. Yet one day,

that all changed.

I had read a particular webcomic, one named

Evercrest, for quite a while. Out of

Sheer boredom, I had decided that I would

just glance at the community board. I

arrived there, and it was just like high

school all over again. Here I was, even

with the shield of a computer, all by

myself, in a lone world full of people of

all ages and backgrounds, and I was too

afraid to even type a simple hello message.

So, for a month or so, I really stayed in

the background, reading, learning more and

more about the ‘community’.
What I saw amazed me. There was an

abundance of… everything. Stupidity, humor,

randomness, anger, cheer… whatever emotion

I could think of, it could be found there.

Simple words conveyed so much. What is

interesting is that it was its own culture,

in fact. New words were developed, rules

and laws were made, people interacted in

their own special way.
What has really amazed me over the

time I have observed were the discussions.

With all the unique people that visited

there, a broad range of opinions were

covered. Opinions on certain issues that I

would never have dreamed of taking were

defended as if they were right! This forced

me to realize and ruminate over their point

of view, and better my understand of the

entire issue at hand, by keeping an open

mind. And there were many people who were

experts at debating, so, I watched how one

can truly defend his or her point, an

important skill in a world such as today.

Even by watching my mind was sharpened.
I took one step further, though. I

introduced myself and made my presence

known. Each post that I made forced me to

craft my words carefully and intelligently

to properly express myself, as I lacked

other means to convey my real meaning. Even

posts in jest needed to be well-worded, as

that was the only means to express humor.

Word choice meant everything. The ability

to which you could write reflected how

powerful you could influence the minds of

others. I found out that I did not just

have to be intelligent, but I have to show

it in what I say. This fact alone helped me

better convey what intelligence I held.
It had one more interesting aspect

occurred: It helped mature me in many ways.

Because they were such a unique culture,

they were able to keep a level of

intellectualism in every post. Essentially,

it was survival of the fittest. If you

weren’t smart enough to keep out of trouble

or to slip up, then you didn’t make the cut

and were eliminated (The bar was low,

though, so, it wasn’t extremely elitist.)

Even on my first post, I fell into trouble

by using ‘gay’ in a demeaning manner,

something which I should not have done.

Throughout the year or so I have been on

the forums, I have seen reasoning that I

have never dreamed of, and I have applied

it to my rationale. By joining it, I became

more intellectually diverse; capable of

seeing two sides of the proverbial coin. It

has made me into a mentally tougher person,

able to fend off the arrows and slings of

words.
Although the learning process with

painful at times, and joyous at others, I

feel it has made me into a more intelligent

person. I had never expected that a simple

forum for people to post their thoughts

would influence me in levels that I did not

expect. In all, I believe that the forums

have profoundly impacted my way of

thinking, and even who I am today.

---

More read friendly.

We all grow and mature over the years, but I... changed a lot as a result of you guys. You scared me and shocked me and made me giggle and slowly whittled away most of my nonexistant self-esteem (It's still bad, but at least now it's there).

Thank you.

~N.

We'restillgoingtoraidthestoresforLoD2,right?

Nothing is as frightening as a whirling LoD-crazed chick charging you with a rapier screaming "DEMON'S DANCE!".

But don't steal my thread. :-( You deserve a new one. :P