Comic book guy: What happened?
Dr. Hibbert: You just experienced a cardiac episode.
Comic book guy: Worst. Episode. Ever.
Add your own!
Yes, that's right, hot live sex!
[ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Kloie ]
Side Show Bob
*much later*
Homer: "Two....*chokegulp*...one. *urp*"
Marge: "Homer, did you stay up all night eating cheese?"
Homer: "I think I'm blind."
The timing on that was perfect in every possible way. I literally wet myself when I first heard it, and I am serious. That caused me to laugh so hard that I pissed my pants. I'm comfortable with that. I'm also comfortable with the fact that it happened not 2 hours ago. 
...what?
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
- Bart
Marge: "Im afraid were going to need a bigger place."
Homer: "No, we wont. Ive got it all figured out. The baby can have Barts crib and Bartll sleep with us until hes 21."
Marge: "Wont that warp him?"
Homer: "My cousin Frank did it."
Marge: "You dont have a cousin Frank."
Homer: "He became Francine back in 76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now."
"Oh my god! Space Aliens! Dont eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!"
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in."
Art lady: "It's called 'outsider art.' It could be done by a mental patient, a hillbilly . . . or a chimpanzee."
Homer: "Hey! In high school, I was voted most likely to BE a mental patient, a hillbilly, or a chimpanzee!"
"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaaaming."
"But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make god madder and madder."
Lisa: "'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Homer [Thinking]: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
Homer: "Takes one to know one."
Homer [Thinking]: Swish.
"Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV."
"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that [Snaps fingers]. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night."
Homer: "Oh Lisa, theres no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield."
Lisa: "Yes, but the records only date back to 1978, when the Hall of Records was mysteriously blown away!"
Homer: "We'll search out every place a sick, twisted, solitary misfit might run to."
Lisa: "I'll start with Radio Shack."
"Y'know, you remind me of a poem I cant remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place Im not sure Ive ever been to."
"My son is NOT a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, and a communist, but he is NOT a porn star."
Hutz: "Mrs Simpson. What did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
Marge: "We pretty much went home."
Hutz: "Mrs Simpson, you are under oath."
Marge: "We drove around until 3 am looking for another 'All you can eat' fish restaurant."
Hutz: "And when you couldn't find one?"
Marge: "We went fishing."
Necromancer: How DARE you imply that I was involved in a rude act with my undead servant! I will flay the flesh from your bones! I will summon a thousand maggot-ridden corpses to gnaw your flesh! I will trap your soul in-
Ghoul: My ass hurts.
Apu: I am sorry, I do not speak English.
Lady: But sir, you were just talking.
Apu: Yes Yes Hotdog Hotdog Yes sir No sir Maybe Ok.
Simpson's Song: Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart
Lisa: I think what my father is trying to say is, your like a member of the family now.
Apu: I feel that way too. You see, whether igloo hot or igloo cold or geodisindob (???), there's no strucuture I have been to which I rather call my home.
*START MUSIC*
Apu: When I first arrived, you were all such jerks but now I come to loooooove
Your qwerks. Maggie with her eyes so brightm Marge with hair by frightning height.
Lisa can philosiphy. Barts adept at spinning lies. Homer is a delightful fella, sorry bout da saminila.
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart. Here comes the tricky part. Who won't a rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart
Marge: There floors are stick-e-mart.
Lisa: Just make that sick-e-mart
Bart: Lets hurl a brick-e-mart.
Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is really DOH!
All: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: Nooot me!
All but Apu: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart! Good bye to Kwik-E-Mart! Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: NOT ME!!!
*MUSIC ENDS*
Homer: Everything rapped up nicely, and much quicker than usual.
Marge: It just goes to show you, happiness is wherever you find it.
Homer: And we all found happiness. Each and everyone one of us.
*APU CRYING ON THE ROOF*
Homer: Hey whats the noise?
Apu: *STILL CRYING ON ROOF* Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I DOOOOO!
Homer: Hey, he lied to us through song. I hate it when people do that!
Ralph Wiggum: I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids! Whooo! Ow, I bent my wookie!
Raplh Wiggum: I saw Principal Skinner and Mrs. <forgot teacher's name> making babies in the closet and I saw one of those babies and than the baby looked at me.
[ 06-23-2001: Message edited by: Digo Amigo ]
"Life is but a passing thing. |= (_) ( |<
