EverCrest Message Forums
You are not logged in. Login or Register.
Author
Topic: I usually poop early in the morning.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 10-25-2012 04:29:35 PM
So rare is it that I have to use the toilet late in the day at work (we have urinals, too). But when I do, I invariably see the remnants of colonic horrors that were wrought throughout the course of the day. Skidmarks of abnormal length. Corn nibblets on underside of the seat. Doot-freckles up the sides of the bowl. What are these people eating? Seriously, am I just an exceptionally mellow pooper, far outside the norm? Do most people spray rancid diarrhea all over the the toilet bowl as a matter of course? Are there fewer among us who drop mighty logs anymore?
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Brahmin Bloodlust
High Priest of Drysart
posted 10-25-2012 08:24:45 PM
It all comes down to two things. Stress and Diet.

Old job was high stress and I ate crappy food for convenience. Explosive shotgun blast brown massacres.

New Job... stress free, fun and mentally stimulating... not forced on a strict schedule, so can take time eating healthy normal food lunches and snacks. You can call me Paul Bunion because I'm choppin logs.

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 10-26-2012 09:19:51 AM
Fecal quality is a function of fiber as well. People tend to get next to no fiber in their diet of big macs and fries with highly processed grains.
Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 10-26-2012 11:58:13 AM
My stool is satisfactory.
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Damnati
Filthy
posted 10-26-2012 01:33:10 PM
Ancient Copypasta

This is every couple of days or so at my college.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 10-26-2012 02:34:26 PM
quote:
Aw, geez, I have Damnati all over myself!
Ancient Copypasta

This is every couple of days or so at my college.


Wait, aren't you like my age. Get a job already, sheesh.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 10-26-2012 08:14:13 PM
quote:
And I was all like 'Oh yeah?' and Karnaj was all like:
Wait, aren't you like my age. Get a job already, sheesh.

I have a job, after a fashion. Aside from house-husbanding, I assist my wife in running an opera company.

Going back to college is my feeble attempt at gaining qualifications for a job. It is not going well...

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 10-30-2012 10:05:47 AM
My stool could be used to sink aircraft carriers.

All hail the power of fibre.

Solstyce
Vampiric pixie that might eat your face, if you're lucky
posted 10-31-2012 08:04:32 PM
Boys.
Shhh. Everyone will hear us. Everyone will know.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 11-03-2012 12:13:56 PM
quote:
And coming in at #1 is Solstyce with "Reply." I'm Casey Casem.
Boys.

Men. We are manly men, and we make manly men poops.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Number 1 Poster
posted 11-04-2012 10:03:28 AM
quote:
Karnaj had this to say about Knight Rider:
Men. We are manly men, and we make manly men poops.

What about the floaters? Big burly poops sink, but the light puffy ones float on top of the water, wanting to be secluded in their rightful place.

All times are US/Eastern
Hop To: