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Author
Topic: I keep thinking...
Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-12-2012 06:11:40 AM
...that one day I am going to shit so hard that I will actually lift off the seat of the toilet.

Then I wondered what the physics behind that are. And I wondered if it would happen with other functions.

Could I be lying in bed and fart so hard it would make me flip over?

Could I one day collapse unconscious on the bathroom floor whilst spraying diarrhea like a jet propulsion system that will ram me into the wall until my neck is broken?

How are you doing, anyway?

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 03-12-2012 06:17:08 AM
The thrust needed for those stunts would rip your intestines apart before it would move your body just one inch.
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 03-12-2012 06:19:25 AM
Also I am fine. I bought a house and I will move in in less than three weeks.

If you ever need a place to stay while you're signing books in my area or something, you know how to reach me.

~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 03-12-2012 06:27:52 AM
I'm not sure about you personally, given that I don't know your mass or dimensions, but this video should point you in the direction for calculating the forces required to answer your questions.

Not bad. Recently completed another solar orbit. Once again have too many games, not enough hours.

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-12-2012 08:59:02 AM
We bottled the Lusty Owauku yesterday.

There was about a pintglass worth of leftovers. I drank it. I got drunk. Off of one glass. Me. This beer is a fucking monster.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 03-12-2012 09:17:27 AM
quote:
Loosely translated, Karnaj says "Kill the whales":
We bottled the Lusty Owauku yesterday.

There was about a pintglass worth of leftovers. I drank it. I got drunk. Off of one glass. Me. This beer is a fucking monster.


My wife likes the wine we make "Because it gets you drunk so fast."

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-12-2012 10:07:35 AM
quote:
Blindy. got served! Blindy. got served!
My wife likes the wine we make "Because it gets you drunk so fast."

Then she would like the Lusty Owauku. 10.9%, according to my calculations. Almost got it to 11%. Think I'll add a pound of candi sugar next time.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 03-12-2012 12:34:13 PM
Holy crap.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-12-2012 12:45:46 PM
I don't fuck around when it comes to imperial stouts. You go big or go home.
That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Mortious
Gluttonous Overlard
posted 03-12-2012 01:24:25 PM
As a non-drinker, I think drinking that would likely kill me.
Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 03-12-2012 03:43:04 PM
My goal is to get Parcelan so drunk off of it that he shits his pants.

In honor of his third book.

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 03-12-2012 04:16:52 PM
If you can make that happen before he puts his pants on I think you can get yourself declared a god....
* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Delphi Aegis
Delphi. That's right. The oracle. Ask me anything. Anything about your underwear.
posted 03-12-2012 05:50:05 PM
quote:
Nobody really understood why Karnaj wrote:
Then she would like the Lusty Owauku. 10.9%, according to my calculations. Almost got it to 11%. Think I'll add a pound of candi sugar next time.

That sounds really damned good. Philly has opened up the beer-snob in me, what with a decent Belgian BierGarden in town. Some of those cold evenings, I'll sit down with a B.O.R.I.S. the crusher and regret choosing to do so.

Number 1 Poster
posted 03-12-2012 07:27:43 PM
Style same, bigger rock
http://imgur.com/sITxL.jpg

www.nem-x.com fucked around with this message on 03-12-2012 at 07:29 PM.

Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 03-12-2012 08:57:58 PM
quote:
Quoth Mr. Parcelan:
How are you doing, anyway?

I am preparing for a year in a strange part of the world, and learning Urdu full time. The good news: I'm in a class by myself with two native-speaking instructors. The bad news: I'm in a class by myself with two native-speaking instructors.

And apparently the latest teaching theory is to dive right into the native alphabet from day one. Yeah.

But at the end of the day Uncle Sam is paying to teach me a language he'll then pay me extra to speak, so rock on.

To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Tarquinn
Personally responsible for the decline of the American Dollar
posted 03-13-2012 03:23:59 AM
Are you going to Pakistan or India?
~Never underestimate the power of a Dark Clown.
Blindy.
Suicide (Also: Gay.)
posted 03-13-2012 07:02:01 AM
quote:
Bloodsage's complete misunderstanding of life manifested itself when they said:
And apparently the latest teaching theory is to dive right into the native alphabet from day one. Yeah.

Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 03-13-2012 07:49:08 AM
quote:
Quoth Blindy.:

That's what I said.

To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Number 1 Poster
posted 03-16-2012 05:05:41 PM
Bloodsage
Heart Attack
posted 03-16-2012 05:59:29 PM
Cock ring? How do you keep the textured part facing the right direction?
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

--Satan, quoted by John Milton

Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-17-2012 07:39:31 PM
Delidgamond is getting married. nem-x has the details.

She's got a kid, I think.

nem-x
posted 03-17-2012 07:54:06 PM
Addy
posted 03-18-2012 03:21:24 AM
mind blown
Number 1 Poster
posted 04-03-2012 09:06:55 AM
She said yes
All times are US/Eastern
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