In the morning, they are the standard loud, painless BRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPs that feel like your anus has been replaced with a horse sighing. They eventually slide into the late night remorsefuls, so named because they start strong and eventually go into a slow, soft, warm and soundless sigh that is lost on the wind...until the smell comes back.
It's like, sometimes I feel bad, because sometimes I do expose my friends to this sort of thing. I can't entirely help it...but sometimes I can. And I wonder if I'm not doing enough because I secretly hate them and, while far too passive to actually do anything confrontational, I privately hope to expose them to enough methane poisoning that one day, they will just slide into a sleep so deep and endless that they would thank me for giving them some measure of the peace they sought in life.
...anyway, how are you?
Only without the shit.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith