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Author
Topic: God of War 3
Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-16-2010 10:05:18 PM
Half an hour in: I leapt off Gaia's back and drove Poseidon out of his shell of liquid horses and crab carapaces so that I could bash his skull into the earth while watching myself do it through his eyes.

And hour in: I rode Cerberus and burned a man alive in the pits of Hell so I could steal his bow and use it to make minotaurs blow up and hack off Gorgon heads.

An hour and a half in: I hacked off Hades' left tit and stomped on it as it tried to crawl back to him. Then I hung him by his own chains and bashed his face against the roof of the underworld. Then I smashed his face against the rock and ate his soul and watched him get carried away on the River Styx.

This game is yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

nem-x
posted 03-16-2010 10:20:17 PM
I haven't played GoW 2 should I play that before I play this
Greenlit
posted 03-16-2010 10:33:29 PM
Probably, it's a pretty badass game.

Eagerly awaiting my copy from Gamefly, should be here tomorrow.

Nina
posted 03-16-2010 10:52:10 PM
quote:
nem-x had this to say about pies:
I haven't played GoW 2 should I play that before I play this

Get the PS3 remake/anthology or whatever. The gameplay is just as awesome but the graphics are beefed up a lot.

As for myself, I'm keeping God of War III for a special week this summer. In the course of that week, I plan on beating:
-Dante's Inferno
-Darksiders
-Devil May Cry IV
-Bayonetta
-God of War III

Week long action overdose to cater to the testosterone I don't have.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 03-16-2010 11:04:26 PM
quote:
Nina's account was hax0red to write:
Get the PS3 remake/anthology or whatever. The gameplay is just as awesome but the graphics are beefed up a lot.

As for myself, I'm keeping God of War III for a special week this summer. In the course of that week, I plan on beating:
-Dante's Inferno
-Darksiders
-Devil May Cry IV
-Bayonetta
-God of War III

Week long action overdose to cater to the testosterone I don't have.


Be warned: Bayonetta has the most amazingly stupid storyline you have ever seen. The fightanz, however, is such epic fun that it more than makes up for the angsty stupidity. The delicious cheesecake doesn't hurt either.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 03-16-2010 11:08:41 PM
quote:
Damnati had this to say about Duck Tales:
Be warned: Bayonetta has the most amazingly stupid storyline you have ever seen.

... that was the point? Bayonetta was awesome

Also: I really want to play God of War 3 help I need a job

Kegwen fucked around with this message on 03-16-2010 at 11:11 PM.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 03-16-2010 11:25:32 PM
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Damnati said:
Be warned: Bayonetta has the most amazingly stupid storyline you have ever seen. The fightanz, however, is such epic fun that it more than makes up for the angsty stupidity. The delicious cheesecake doesn't hurt either.

More to the point: all those games have pretty stupid storylines.

GoW3 is the best out of all of them, if only because it's straightforward, but it's still one dude whose goal is to kill everyone.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 03-16-2010 11:27:08 PM
quote:
We were all impressed when Mr. Parcelan wrote:
More to the point: all those games have pretty stupid storylines.

GoW3 is the best out of all of them, if only because it's straightforward, but it's still one dude whose goal is to kill everyone.


Bayonetta's is just noticeably worse than anything else I've seen save for Sword of Truth. Yeah, action games tend to be focused on violence rather than story but Bayonetta's mocks that idea.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 03-17-2010 12:49:24 AM
HINT:

BAYONNETA WAS PARODY

SATIRE

A FARCE

Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 03-17-2010 01:09:43 AM
I obtained the Pandora Box. Good god this game is fucking awesome looking.

Sadly I will be putting it off till after I've finished FFXIII. It was here first and I do not want ANY distractions from the multiple metric fucktons of genocide and destruction Kratos will be serving up.

The guys at the GameStop I had mine reserved at asked me to wear a Kratos mask when I came to midnight release to pick it up... Can't go too wrong with a freebie like that.

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
Delphi Aegis
Delphi. That's right. The oracle. Ask me anything. Anything about your underwear.
posted 03-17-2010 07:22:22 AM
quote:
Kegwen's account was hax0red to write:
HINT:

BAYONNETA WAS PARODY

SATIRE

A FARCE


You sure? Some dev interviews I read had them seeming pretty serious about her and the character...

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 03-17-2010 10:42:18 AM
quote:
nem-x had this to say about Punky Brewster:
I haven't played GoW 2 should I play that before I play this

If you just like to smash and kill things, probably not. If you want to know what the heck is going on in the story, then yes. Its a pretty big leap in the story if you go from Kratos sitting in Olympus as the new God of War to him leading an army of titans in an assault on Olympus. If you just want to read what happens without playing the game, the wiki for GoW2 gives you the whole plot of the game.

Abridged Version in Spoilers:
The gods get angry with Kratos for leading his Spartan followers to attack other cities beholden to other gods. Zeus steals his power and kills Kratos. Kratos escapes the Underworld and goes on a journey toward the location of the Loom of Time and the Three Sisters of Fate. He kills everything in his way, uses the Loom of Time and goes back to when Zeus stole his power and attacks the leader of the gods. Kratos badly injures Zeus before Athena steps in to try and stop Kratos from killing him. It is revealed that Zeus is actually Kratos' father and he killed Kratos to break the cycle of son killing father amongst the gods. Kratos kills Athena as Zeus escapes and rallies the other gods. Kratos goes back to the Loom of Time and goes back to the time when the gods fought and defeated the Titans. Kratos rallies the titans and brings them forward in time to fight a second war against the gods. This is were the second game ends and the third picks up.

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 03-17-2010 01:35:27 PM
quote:
Delphi Aegis had this to say about Robocop:
You sure? Some dev interviews I read had them seeming pretty serious about her and the character...

devil may cry was also 100% serious

Maradon!
posted 03-17-2010 06:32:19 PM
quote:
Over the mountain, in between the ups and downs, I ran into Kegwen who doth quote:
devil may cry was also 100% serious

It IS 100% serious, it's just made by people who think Japanese shonen manga aren't extreme enough.

Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 03-17-2010 06:43:51 PM
hahah ok

if you can play 5 seconds of Bayonetta without thinking that it's a parody I just don't know what to say

edit: even if the creators did take it 100% seriously (which I doubt), the end product is so similar to a well-crafted but straight-faced parody that it can be treated as such without any effort

Kegwen fucked around with this message on 03-17-2010 at 06:48 PM.

Maradon!
posted 03-17-2010 06:54:21 PM
I like it because the main character has big tits and glasses.

I haven't even played it yet.

Damnati
Filthy
posted 03-17-2010 09:51:41 PM
quote:
Everyone wondered WTF when Maradon! wrote:
I like it because the main character has big tits and glasses.

I haven't even played it yet.


Big tits, glasses, a perfect ass, and ridiculously fun combat. It's completely madcap, wall-running, boot-gunning, crazy shit salted with cheesecaking "snapshot" poses when you do certain techniques. Absolutely brilliant game, I just hate the stupid, angsty story; even if it is satire, it's still annoying.

Love is hard, harder than steel and thrice as cruel. It is as inexorable as the tides and life and death alike follow in its wake. -Phèdre nó Delaunay, Kushiel's Chosen

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Lyinar Ka`Bael
Are you looking at my pine tree again?
posted 03-17-2010 10:25:53 PM
I want to play it just for the novelty of beating shit up with my hair


Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin

Kegwen
Sonyfag
posted 03-18-2010 03:16:08 AM
I'm a superpowerful witch that kills angels with her hair WITH A SECRET DARK PAST
Random Insanity Generator
Condom Ninja El Supremo
posted 03-18-2010 06:36:05 AM
It's a game in which I try to make friends say "whoa, do that again" as many times as possible.

And it's usually said when she's in an "interesting" position. Most of my friends are pervs.

* NullDevice kicks the server. "Floggings will continue until processing power improves!"
-----------------------------------
"That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos." -- Harry Dresden
-----------------------------------
That's what playing Ragnarok Online taught me: There's no problem in the universe that can't be resolved by the proper application of daggers to faces.
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