Here is mine for EC:
Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.
-From The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Some of these are awfully silly.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
I've reached a point where I feel the need to express my disappointment with Countess Mortius. When writing this letter, I had originally intended to segregate the pure errors of fact in Mortius's comments from the assertions of questionable judgment where there could be room for dispute. I eventually decided against that approach because from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Mortius's jackals have always found a way to pander to our worst fears. While I don't know her secret plans, I do know that either she has no real conception of the sweep of history, or she is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with "facts" that are taken out of context.
Mortius's pleas are continually evolving into more and more disgraceful incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how if we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of Mortius's sex-crazed tracts rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into her world. Why do we want to do that? Because the biggest supporters of Mortius's materialistic whinges are pharisaical, irresponsible pothouse drunks and the worst kinds of stultiloquent gadflies there are. A secondary class of ardent supporters consists of ladies of elastic virtue and cosmopolitan tendencies to whom such things afford a decent excuse for displaying their fascinations at their open windows.
The question, therefore, must not be, "Why does the media consistently refuse to acknowledge that Mortius's cop-outs are a parody of original thought?" but rather, "Why doesn't Mortius point a critical finger at herself for a change?". The latter question is the better one to ask because Mortius intends to create a new social class. Squalid self-promoters, mingy bigamists, and odious cozeners will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their attendants. I think I've dished it out to Countess Mortius as best as I can in this letter. I hope you now understand why I say that uncontrollable radicalism is merely a symptom of the disease called "Mortius-ism".
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Poo.
