For this methodology I will utilize the following materials, none of which are manufactured by Diebold:
(click images for larger version)
From left to right we have:
1) My custom target
2) My antique Democrats coffee cup from the 1972 election where Nixon beat McGovern. This was given to me by Somthor for christmas one year, I think. It is holding my pellets.
3) My Airsoft "Beretta 9mm" accurate to a distance of about a foot.
4) Under them all is my comfy cotton Knobby Rug that Feels Great Under Bare Feet (KRFGUBF). The KRFGUBF will be acting as a drop cloth. It was purchased at wal-mart, but has since defected to our side and proven itself in active duty laying at the side of my bed awaiting my footsies every morning, so the Chinese should have no bearing on this election process.
And the final component, the oligarch himself
I am one crazy dude!
Haha, oh silly, you're supposed to save that until after the election
The next step is to assemble and mount the "election panel"
I affixed the election panel to the drop cloth by means of tape (not pictured, also purchased at wal-mart)
Now it's time to tabulate the vote
I was actually aiming for the bullseye, and I'm not sure why because I never actually included any provisions for actually hitting the bullseye. I guess if I got a bullseye I'd just take a mulligan and do a recount. The odds of this are not likely anyway, since as I mentioned, this particular gun has been fired so many times that it's pretty inaccurate. I think it might have something stuck in it.
But the vote was clear anyway. Bad news guys.
Obama wins in a landslide, garnering 100% of the popular vote (or 1 more vote than the other 3 candidates)
Well, glad it's over with anyway.
If you'd like to hold your own election, I've included a copy of the Election Panel that I made here.
Admittedly, it has a few problems. Using this chart, Bob Barr has a 5% chance of winning, which is WAY too damn high by an order of maybe 10 decimal places or more. Also, the chart gives a 5% chance of our society descending into total anarchy, which is way too damn low. Like real democracy, though, all we can do is our best! Maradon! fucked around with this message on 05-26-2008 at 07:08 PM.
quote:
Mr. Parcelaning:
Why are you so sweaty
I put saline in my eyes to simulate fake tears but it didn't come out right
*sigh* I wish all elections were this easy.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith
quote:
Over the mountain, in between the ups and downs, I ran into Karnaj who doth quote:
Are you in a community rec room or something, or is that your bedroom?
that's my bedroom wtf
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Maradon! had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
that's my bedroom wtf
jesus man, watch some hgtv or something.
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So quoth Maradon!:
It's not like I decorated the fucking thing
we can see that.
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Maradon! painfully thought these words up:
And brown shorts!
I think you shit them, because you knew you might pick Obama, and I know how much you dislike him.
Tarquinn fucked around with this message on 05-27-2008 at 07:19 PM.
if for some reason you doubt this claim then watch his speech at Wesleyan the other day
I'm still probably going to vote for him Kegwen fucked around with this message on 05-27-2008 at 07:27 PM.
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Falaanla Marr had this to say about Optimus Prime:
I like that you wore a red shirt for this.
Jesus Maradon, you communist.
Oh shit, I'm wearring a red shirt right now.
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Verily, Skaw doth proclaim:
Jesus Maradon, you communist.Oh shit, I'm wearring a red shirt right now.
I'm wearing a brown shirt....
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Skaw had this to say about Captain Planet:
Jesus Maradon, you communist.Oh shit, I'm wearring a red shirt right now.
Actually, it was Red = Republican.
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Falaanla Marr's account was hax0red to write:
Actually, it was Red = Republican.
Read his "Obama is a Communist" thread and then come back.
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If I had a nickle for every time Maradon! said:
I don't know if you guys are making the connection here that collectivism and individual liberty are mutually exclusive.
None of the candidates offered are true proponents of individual liberty. Given the choices at hand, I'll go for the one who seems the most honest, upfront and intelligent.
quote:
Blindy.ing:
None of the candidates offered are true proponents of individual liberty. Given the choices at hand, I'll go for the one who seems the most honest, upfront and intelligent.
Voting image and not issues then. You're hardly alone, especially among Obama supporters.
I hate McCain probably more than almost any other political figure out there, certainly more than Hillary.
That said, though, I can come up with a laundry list of individual liberties that McCain supports that Hillary does not, much less Obama. Property rights, gun rights, choice in schools, and choice in healthcare spring to mind, as well as a general contempt for the entire concept of individualism or self-ownership. Maradon! fucked around with this message on 05-28-2008 at 07:04 PM.
You know, job security and all that.
(I hear this secondhand, so feel free to correct me)
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We were all impressed when Delphi Aegis wrote:
Maradon, as a social conservative, what do you think of Hillary's plan of making Health Insurance similar to Car insurance? I.E., illegal to NOT have?(I hear this secondhand, so feel free to correct me)
Best thing to happen to the Granite State.
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I bet Maradon!'s Mother is proud:
Voting image and not issues then. You're hardly alone, especially among Obama supporters.I hate McCain probably more than almost any other political figure out there, certainly more than Hillary.
That said, though, I can come up with a laundry list of individual liberties that McCain supports that Hillary does not, much less Obama. Property rights, gun rights, choice in schools, and choice in healthcare spring to mind, as well as a general contempt for the entire concept of individualism or self-ownership.
What presidents say to get elected and what they do (or are able to do) after they are elected are rarely one in the same. If you vote the issues you're just voting for the guy who polled your demographic better.
Edit1: When it comes to presidents, I mean.
Edit2: I guess I'm trying to express my disillusionment with politics right now. I only half believe this shit. Blindy. fucked around with this message on 05-29-2008 at 08:43 AM.
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A sleep deprived Maradon! stammered:
Voting image and not issues then. You're hardly alone, especially among Obama supporters.
"He tells you that "the topic of instructions has occasioned much altercation and uneasiness in this city;" and he expresses himself (if I understand him rightly) in favour of the coercive authority of such instructions.
Certainly, gentlemen, it ought to be the happiness and glory of a representative to live in the strictest union, the closest correspondence, and the most unreserved communication with his constituents. Their wishes ought to have great weight with him; their opinion, high respect; their business, unremitted attention. It is his duty to sacrifice his repose, his pleasures, his satisfactions, to theirs; and above all, ever, and in all cases, to prefer their interest to his own. But his unbiassed opinion, his mature judgment, his enlightened conscience, he ought not to sacrifice to you, to any man, or to any set of men living. These he does not derive from your pleasure; no, nor from the law and the constitution. They are a trust from Providence, for the abuse of which he is deeply answerable. Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion."
Edmund Burke is kinda the shit.
Then again, I'm the odd college student out who doesn't blow his load over the idea of direct democracy with an enthusiastic and informed voter base.
