Why is there a roll of toilet paper on the couch?

Apparantly, his buddy's girlfriend were at his house, and their parents had just got a new white couch. Nice, cloth exterior, not leather or anything.

Well they were havin' fun and going at it on said new couch, ass sex and the like. Well he pulls out and she shits uncontrollably all over the new couch. They try to clean it up, but it's just not working.

So their dad comes home and is like "What the fuck is on my couch!?" Of course, they blamed it on the dog. They went upstairs thinking that they got away or whatever because they hear the dad screaming at the dog and the dog yelping about it. Couple minutes later they hear a door close and one shotgun blast.

That is all.

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Suddar had this to say about Matthew Broderick:
Armbars hurt

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Armbars do suck, but the worst arm-based thing I've been hit with is the uma plata.

Basically, guy A is on his back and B is over him. A scoots his hips up, wraps his legs around B's shoulder, rotates 180 degrees, scoots hips away from B, and sits up. It bends the arm at a similar angle to the kimura, but it also grinds your face in the mat and pits the arm against their whole body instead of just their two arms.

Just like how I had to stop Taekwondo for blocking with my elbows

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Stalwart Steve had this to say about Punky Brewster:
yes

Just like how I had to stop Taekwondo for blocking with my elbows

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Blocking with the elbows is good, I always wanted to learn more of that one Indian martial art that's credited with that one. Apparently it's mostly concepts of countering like that and carrot-topping.

Tae Kwon Do is pretty much complete garbage anyway.