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Topic: Parcelan's Labyrinth
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-30-2006 11:40:42 PM
You have been elected to participate in the greatest contest known to man: Parcelan's Labyrinth. The winner shall have the greatest treasures, the losers shall be food for the labyrinth's treacherous guardian: the Bajataur.

Here is how it will work.

You all begin with 10 gold and 10 HP. There will be 10 days in the Labyrinth. You may join any day, but it is to your benefit to join today. The Labyrinth is twisted and treacherous, so you must roll the dice (1d30) to discover which way you will travel.

At the start of each day, you must post your current HP and your roll. You may find treasures to increase your hit points and gold. You may also find treasures to allow you to avoid traps or the dreaded Bajataur. An unlucky roll, however, might find you in a trap, or in the clutches of the Bajataur.

After ten days, whosoever is still alive and has the most gold wins.

Day one begins now. Remember, if you plan on participating, post your current HP (if you're entering for the first time, it will be 10 HP) and your current gold (if you're entering for the first time, it will be 10 gold) and then your roll (which, I think, is [roll=1d30] or 1d30 => 14. Or something. You'll figure it out. It won't be counted until it's true, anyways.)

Day One Begins

Roll Number: Result

1: You wander aimlessly through the Labyrinth; no effect.

2: You stumble into a needle-shooter trap; lose 3 HP.

3: You discover a lost coin pouch; gain 5 gold.

4: You stumble across a shrine to Parcelan, God of Fortune; add +1 to your next roll.

5: You choose a path through the Labyrinth and follow it; add -1 to your next roll.

6: You discover a treasure chest; gain 10 gold.

7: You come to the Pillar of Seanicus, the fallen hero who long ago escaped from the Labyrinth and are blessed with incredible luck; if you wander into a trap on your next roll, you manage to avoid negative effects.

8: You stumble into a Poison Needle-Shooter trap; lose 2 HP per day until you come across an Antidote or Day 10.

9: You discover the remains of some poor adventurer wedged in a trap, but you're able to pry the precious jewel out of his mashed hand; gain 10 gold.

10: You stumble into a Maiming Trap, slowing your movement and injuring you; lose 4 HP and if you wander into another trap your next roll, you take an additional 2 HP damage.

11: You discover an ancient alchemy lab and are able to salvage two strange-looking vials from it; you find an Antidote, curing you of any movement-impairing or poison effects, and a Healing Potion that causes you to gain 3 HP.

12: You discover an ancient spring bubbling up from the ground with clean, pure water; gain 5 HP.

13: You find an ancient library and discover many ancient tomes worth salvaging; gain 20 gold.

14: You find the remains of some victim of the ferocious Bajataur, the blood accidentally smearing upon your clothes; the Bajataur has your scent, add a +3 to your next roll.

15: You meet up with the dreaded Bajataur, who snarls and demands a tribute of blood or gold; lose 10 HP or 15 gold.

16: You fall into a Pit Trap, plummeting into a deep, black pit; lose 5 HP and spend your next turn climbing out (lose 1 roll).

17: You wander into a Poison Gas Trap! Seek help immediately; lose 4 HP per day until you find an antidote or emerge from the Labyrinth on Day 10.

18: You discover the jade statue of Katrinitu, Goddess of Health; all movement-impairing and poison effects are removed and you gain 10 HP.

19: You find a strange, blue vial clenched in the hand of the remains of some poor adventurer who collapsed as he was running; you discover a vial of Repellant, the next time you meet up with the Bajataur, you may avoid the consequences once.

20: You discover the shrine of Ja'Gorgo, the two-headed God of Woe and Weal and see that gold has been heaped at his feet; you may offer 10 gold and add +10 to your next roll or remove 10 gold and gain 10 gold, but your next roll will automatically count as a 15, no matter what you roll.

21: You find an ancient fountain bubbling over with fresh, clean water; gain 13 HP.

22: You find the remains of two adventurers who apparently turned on each other and simultaneously stabbed each other through the heart with their massive, jeweled broadswords; gain 25 gold.

23: You stumble into a Derelious Gas Trap that causes you to hallucinate and lose your sense of direction, affecting your movement; add +5 to your next roll, -5 to the following roll, +5 to the roll after that and so on until you find an Antidote or some other way to cure movement-impairing effects.

24: You find a long-since triggered Gold Dust-spewing Trap that apparently ate away at the corpse of the adventurer it caught, removing the skin and coating the bones in solid gold. You find it small wonder that no one bothered to re-set this silly trap, but don't question your good fortune; gain 30 gold.

25: You find the shrine of Blackenoth, the ancient God of Death; you can offer 30 gold to the shrine and remove 10 HP of another adventurer in the Labyrinth (any player) or ignore it and suffer no effects for this turn.

26: You find the satchel of a dead adventurer and plunder its loot of two vials and a sack of gold; gain 5 HP, remove any movement-impairing or poison effects, and gain 10 gold.

27: You find a shrine dedicated to the three gods Delidgamus, Voragus and Liamus, the Three Penguins of Safety. You feel an aura of safety at their feet; you may leave the Labyrinth prematurely and be judged upon your current gold when Day 10 arrives or ignore the statue and suffer no effects for this turn.

28: You stumble into a Spike Pit Trap; lose 9 HP.

29: You find a strange statue; on your next turn, you may choose to use the statue and visit the shrines of any of the above gods (Parcelan, the Penguins of Safety, etc.), your turn effectively counting as whatever roll number that shrine corresponds to.

30: You discover the center of the Labyrinth! Untold riches and gems lay before you! The only question is how much can you carry?; You gain 60 gold.

Go!

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-30-2006 11:42:15 PM
P.S. I can't edit the post, since you can't edit dice rolls, but the correct code is .[.roll.]1d30.[./roll.] without the periods.
Delphi Aegis
Delphi. That's right. The oracle. Ask me anything. Anything about your underwear.
posted 07-30-2006 11:44:43 PM
This is actually pretty awesome.

10hp
10g

1d30 => 10

LeMiere
posted 07-30-2006 11:50:35 PM
Yey, fun.

10hp
10gold

1d30 => 25

Karnaj
Road Warrior Queef
posted 07-30-2006 11:57:38 PM
I whorehealtedly support this.

10 HP
10 Gold

1d30 => 6

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith



Beer.

tFUCKING RETARD
Pancake
posted 07-30-2006 11:58:54 PM
10 hp
10 gold

1d30 => 11

There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.
Liam
Swims in Erotic Circles
posted 07-30-2006 11:59:18 PM
10 hp
10 dubloons

it's time to get serious

1d30 => 8

Razor
posted 07-30-2006 11:59:49 PM
10H/10G
1d30 => 8
Astronomy is a passion...
Engineering is a love...
My job isn't a job, it's my career, and I love every minute of it: Observatory Superintendent
Steven Steve
posted 07-31-2006 12:03:01 AM
1d30 => 14
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Anakha
my standards skyrocket when im on my keyboard heh
posted 07-31-2006 12:06:08 AM
10 HP
10 GP
1d30 => 9
"Buzz Beer, the beer of attainable women!"
"You try balancing a cow on the end of a fencepost to wield it like a club. Thats a physical damn challenge!"
"The only problem i have is too much aggro."
Zair
The Imp
posted 07-31-2006 12:09:17 AM
1d30 => 26
Jargum
Doughnut
posted 07-31-2006 12:09:30 AM
10 HP
10 Gold
1d30 => 6
Steven Steve
posted 07-31-2006 12:12:53 AM
Man I got jack.
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Ctrl-Alt-Del
Pancake
posted 07-31-2006 12:15:44 AM
HP: 10
Gold: 10
1d30 => 26
Gadani
U
posted 07-31-2006 12:18:45 AM
10 HP
10 Gold

1d30 => 15

Gadani
U
posted 07-31-2006 12:19:33 AM
Man, what shittastic luck.
Blackened
posted 07-31-2006 12:19:56 AM
HP 10
Gold 10

1d30 => 14


Although my distaste for you as a human being is brobdingnagian,
what I'm about to do isn't personal.
Blackened
posted 07-31-2006 12:21:47 AM
quote:
Fazum'Zen Fastfist.
Man I got jack.
Seriously +3 what lameness

I assume that means [roll]1d30+3[/roll] next time

Blackened fucked around with this message on 07-31-2006 at 12:22 AM.


Although my distaste for you as a human being is brobdingnagian,
what I'm about to do isn't personal.
Mooj
Scorned Fanboy
posted 07-31-2006 12:23:00 AM
Well, this actually looks pretty fun!

10 HP
10 Gold

1d30 => 16

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-31-2006 12:25:16 AM
quote:
Gadani obviously shouldn't have said:
Man, what shittastic luck.

Which do you choose?

Gadani
U
posted 07-31-2006 12:26:41 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan's fortune cookie read:
Which do you choose?

I'd pick gold, but I dont have enough. D:

Steven Steve
posted 07-31-2006 12:26:55 AM
If I were Gadani, I'd kill myself. This is me voting for him.
"Absolutely NOTHING [will stop me from buying Diablo III]. I will buy it regardless of what they do."
- Grawbad, Battle.net forums

"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums

Gadani
U
posted 07-31-2006 12:27:29 AM
quote:
Fazum'Zen Fastfist had this to say about Knight Rider:
If I were Gadani, I'd kill myself. This is me voting for him.

Harsh.

Mooj
Scorned Fanboy
posted 07-31-2006 12:27:53 AM
God dammit. I'm the first schmuck in this trap.

Better than Bajataur bait though.

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-31-2006 12:35:02 AM
So, results thus far:

Gadani is dead. Sorry, Gadani

Delphi has been maimed. Lost 4 HP.

Lemmy has arrived at the Shrine of Blackanoth, but has no money to hinder others.

Karnaj gains 10 gold!

Vallo gains 3 HP!

Liam loses 2 HP per day! 8 HP now!

Razor is such a poser and copies Liam.

Fazumzen adds +3 to his next roll tomorrow.

Anakha gains 10 gold!

Zair gains 5 HP and 10 gold!

Jargum gains 10 gold!

CAD gains 5 HP and 10 gold!

Black adds +3 to next roll.

Mooj loses 5 HP and loses his next turn.

nem-x
posted 07-31-2006 12:36:27 AM
HP: 10
GP: 10

1d30 => 24

nem-x fucked around with this message on 07-31-2006 at 12:36 AM.

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 07-31-2006 12:40:31 AM
10 HP
10 Gold

1d30 => 23

Everybody come visit my shrine! Free cookies to the first 20 visitors!

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
nem-x
posted 07-31-2006 12:43:22 AM
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-31-2006 12:43:27 AM
nem-x is rich beeyotch!

Katrinity is delirious!

Mr. Parcelan fucked around with this message on 07-31-2006 at 12:43 AM.

Katrinity
Cookie Goddess!
posted 07-31-2006 12:45:33 AM
quote:
Mr. Parcelan Model 2000 was programmed to say:
Katrinity is delirious!

What else is new?

Cookie Goddess Supreme
Furry Kitsune of Power!
Pouncer of the 12th degree!
"Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv'iornw hqxoxon targh!"
Translated: "Sell your soul for a cookie?"
Sentow, Maybe
Pancake
posted 07-31-2006 12:51:06 AM
HP: 10
GP: 10

1d30 => 22

Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We'll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.
Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-31-2006 12:53:45 AM
Sentow maybe gets 25 gold...maybe.
Matilda Jane
ph33r my MIRVs
posted 07-31-2006 01:04:06 AM
HP: 10
GP: 10

1d30 => 28

There was a signature here... it's gone now.
Almond
Intellectual Socialist
posted 07-31-2006 01:04:42 AM
10hp
10gold

1d30 => 9

Dr. Gee
Say it Loud, Say it Plowed!
posted 07-31-2006 01:07:09 AM
HP: 10
GP: 10

1d30 => 9

Mr. Parcelan
posted 07-31-2006 01:09:05 AM
Matilda Jane loses 9 HP! Bummer.

Almond and Dr. Gee both gain 10 gold!

Willias
Pancake
posted 07-31-2006 01:13:48 AM
HP: 10
GP: 10

1d30 => 23

nem-x
posted 07-31-2006 01:15:19 AM
Densetsu
NOT DRYSART
posted 07-31-2006 01:20:14 AM
HP10
GP10
1d30 => 27
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl, we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over?
Densetsu
NOT DRYSART
posted 07-31-2006 01:23:07 AM
quote:
Densetsu had this to say about Tron:
HP10
GP10
*1d30 => 27*

Ignore the penguins, bitches!

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl, we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over?
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