"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing." -- Thomas Jefferson
"Unbelievably, a goldfish can kill a gorilla. However, it does require a substantial element of surprise." -- George Carlin
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin
"I finally figured out what e-mail is for. It's for communicating with people you'd rather not talk to." -- Also George Carlin
"The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity." -- "The Second Coming" by Wm. Butler Yeats

That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. - Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Beer.

I don't know how to be sexy. If I catch a girl looking at me and our eyes lock, I panic and open mine wider. Then I lick my lips and rub my genitals. And mouth the words "You're dead."

Won't you be my friend

"I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."
-- George Herbert Walker Bush

A particularly crafty sea lion is befuddling the Army Corps of Engineers, who have come to believe the 1,000-pound mammal is either from hell -- or from Harvard.