' This is the longest Audi commercial I've ever seen. '
I think Audi and Victoria's Secret must have funded the entire movie. The 'evil psychotic' chick never wore anything but her underwear, with occasionally having a robe or coat over it that never stayed long. Even the 'good girl' Audrey wore shirts that you could see her expensive lacy bras through everytime she moved.
Anyway.
Overall, the movie was doing pretty decent until a certain part which will be placed under spoiler tags in a moment. From that point on, the movie just nose-dived into shittiness. This certain part is this part where he knows he's got this blinking box on the bottom of his beautiful Audi. He speeds off and I thought "Woot, he's gonna drive it off the pier and jump out so it slams into the bad guy's boat," but no. He manages to speed along the docks and hits a randomly placed ramp, flips the car upside down, using a randomly placed crane hook to knock the bomb off, where it manages to explode precisely in time for him to be just far enough away to get the car rightside up again and landing impeccably. Granted there was another part before this where he was at the top of a parking garage where he was able to smash through the wall AND jump like 100 yards to the parking garage next door that just happens to be under construction and.. you know, what, just about the whole movie is him doing the impossible.
All right, so instead of him being a Billy Badass, he just keeps doing shit that should be impossible, but whatever 
How was the kung-fu?
Was Statham a huge badass? (edit - yes doing impossible shit means you're still a badass) Blackened fucked around with this message on 09-04-2005 at 12:07 PM.
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Blackened said this about your mom:
How was the kung-fu?
Go rent Ong-Bak, motherfucker.
It's not something people hear about.
The best fight was early in the movie where he fought this huge black guy. That ruled.
There was a small fight in a doctor's office in the beginning that was pretty crappy. He was fighting two inept Russians. It was a pity-beating. Though it got topped off by Infinite-Ammo Lingerie Lady shooting everything. There was even this CGI wave flying through the vents and stuff to 'show' her hearing them press the ELEVATOR BUTTON! YAY!
The fight with the high pressure hose and nozzle was pretty decent, but not new. Turning on the hose, though, made it a bit more fun. The only other fight worth mentioning was between our hero Statham and BadGuyGoons 01-15 or so in the Garage of LatinoLeader. He pulls up in a borrowed Taxi cab and they fill it full of holes, but he gets away! They look behind the car and he's removed a grate and disappeared. All the guys run over to the grate and look down.
"The garage!"
"I'm out of ammo."
"Me too."
"Me too."
"Me too."
"Where's the refills?"
"The garage." *points down the hole*
So they all run down to the garage and one of the guys tries to unlock this door where apparently the ammo is. Statham kicks him and breaks the key off in the lock, ono they can't get ammo!
So the rest of them all run and grab swords and axes and blowup dolls* from racks and cases conveniently stored elsewhere in the garage and big fight begins where Statham manages to beat up all these guys with swords and axes without getting touched at all. Perfectly expected, at least. Just, why are all these swords and axes in the garage, and all the ammo in a locked room?
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Out of a possible 10, Sean scored a straight 1 with:
Go rent Ong-Bak, motherfucker.
Bought it. Woo, good movie.
So after that I turned my brain off and it was just fine.
quote:This is what Snugglits is doing. This is what I want Snugglits to do
:
I knew it was going to be "shitty" like that almost immediatlely in that kendo scene towards the beginning. One word for that: "ugh".
So after that I turned my brain off and it was just fine.
hahah, me and Tim both went "Shyruuken!" Yeah, it's probably spelled wrong and is probably not even the right name, but "Dragon Uppercut!" doesn't sound as funny to say.
It's not something people hear about.
quote:
Gadani had this to say about Cuba:
I always thought it was "Hadoken".
Two different moves. I don't even play SF and I know that. 
quote:
Because JooJooFlop is my friend.
What the hell do they say when they do the whirlwind kick?
Tatsumakisenpukyaku.
It's not something people hear about.
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Bajah wrote this then went back to looking for porn:
hahah, me and Tim both went "Shyruuken!" Yeah, it's probably spelled wrong and is probably not even the right name, but "Dragon Uppercut!" doesn't sound as funny to say.
I've actually done some kendo and I've watched a lot of it. It's the same thing as how anyone feels when they're a fencer and a movie has fencing, or a martial arts practicer with any non-Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan movie. That scene was kind of out of place anyway.
Still, the movie had a lot of explosions, at least.
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Sean probably says this to all the girls:
Shoyruken, motherfucker, do you speak it?
Do you mean Shoruken/Shyoruken? Shoyruken isn't something you can pronounce in Japanese.
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Snugglits didn't get much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat. He had only two ways home: death, or victory.
Do you mean Shoruken/Shyoruken? Shoyruken isn't something you can pronounce in Japanese.
Maybe it's Shoryuken. Hell if I know.
It's not something people hear about.
I can tell you this. It was 10 times better than The Brothers Grimm
Well worth my $6.
