anyway, I dried off a bit in the shower, so I wouldnt get water all over. I rub some of the water out of my hair, and glance at the mirror, because I feel something on my nose. I figure its a thread or some lint from the towel, at first, but then I see it.
It's a big fucking brown spider, ON MY FUCKING NOSE. Now, I am not afeared of spiders, but this big fucker on my nose freaked me the fuck out. Water hits the floor, the ceiling, the walls, the mirror. The offending BIG FUCKING SPIDER has landed in the bathtub.
I cut on the water.. hothot water, and I wash the fucker down to the drain. now, this was a big fucking spider, so he had some grip.. it took about five minutes to make him hit the drain, and by then, he was well cooked, and a bit limp. But, not wanting to take any chances, I whacked him one with the showerhead.
Today I learned that you should check your towel for arachnids before youuse the towel. What have you learned today?
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java the thoughts aquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
sigpic courtesy of This Guy, original modified by me
quote:
Kaiote said:
Yeah, me, naked, PICTURE THAT, FUCKERS!
*jacks off*
quote:
Mortious had this to say about the Spice Girls:
*jacks off*
fag! 
quote:
New Age Bane said:
fag!
No, really? 
"Don't want to sound like a fanboy, but I am with you. I'll buy it for sure, it's just a matter of for how long I will be playing it..."
- Silvast, Battle.net forums
quote:
Verily, Mortious doth proclaim:
No, really?
Yes really, wanna get together? 
I woke up after a nap the other day and there was a huge spider sitting on my chest looking at me and grinning.
I screamed like a little girl, smashed it with a shoe, scooped up the remains, blew them up with an M5000 then set what was left of that on fire. Private Part fucked around with this message on 07-08-2005 at 07:50 PM.
Lyinar Ka`Bael, Piney Fresh Druidess - Luclin
I learned that from a BBC documentary on the French Foreign Legion's jungle training camp.
--Satan, quoted by John Milton
Five minutes later, I noticed it hadn't really changed position, which was odd as it was climbing with all its spidery might up the wall. The condensation from my lovely hot shower was making the wall very slippery, and thanks to a really crappy drain the entire tub of the shower was this churning mass of hot water. Occasionally, giant droplets of water that were about half the size of the spider's body would barrel down the wall at it, and the spider's wallwalking powers would prove puny and ineffective against that. Still, it continued, climbing with all its might up that slippery wall, occasionally hitting a death patch and sliding down, once almost to the churning death tub.
I just let it be. Was still there when I left. May your babies be strong and numerous.
quote:
So quoth Delidgamond:
Some people are like Slinkys... Not really good for anything, But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
I mean, imagine the reaction had you swatted down there
I woulda seen the fucker before I picked it up.
One day, though, one of them descended right in front of me while I was at the computer. I was like "excuse me!!!!!!!" and slapped him.
quote:
Kaiote thought about the meaning of life:
Wouldn't that be you?
I am above the law.
How big of a spider was it?
Now I'm going to be checking my TOWELS too. 
quote:
Ares was listening to Cher while typing:
Fuck you Kaiote. I have an extreme paranoia of spiders.Now I'm going to be checking my TOWELS too.
There's a huge daddy-long-legs (I have no idea what their real name is, I'm sorry) that lives in our bathroom. He just chills in the corner where you can't even reach him, eating...I don't even know what he eats. He never crawls into the bath or anything, though. Thank god my mom is so short, or she'd notice and kill poor Fred (my dad named him Fred) TT_TT
Am I a freak? o.o
quote:
Kait said:
Am I a freak? o.o
I think that was nailed down a while ago. 
quote:
Ruvyen had this to say about the Spice Girls:
Uh, Parce... If that isn't a photoshop (I can't tell atm), that's very bad. I don't think you're supposed to have spiders of that size in your house.
I'm pretty sure that's not photo-shopped. Forgot the name of that spider, but they get friggen huge.
quote:
Nobody really understood why Ruvyen wrote:
Uh, Parce... If that isn't a photoshop (I can't tell atm), that's very bad. I don't think you're supposed to have spiders of that size in your house.
I woke up one morning with a huge Tarantula sitting on my wall about three feet from my face.
I am no longer afraid of spiders. That just can't be topped, unless I woke up with it in my bed with me.
Omg.. I freaked out while putting on my chapstick in the mirror today by my front door.. There was a little tiny spider on it about the size of a head pin.
quote:
Snoota was naked while typing this:
On the chapstick!?
No, mirror. If it was on the chapstick I would have thrown the tube through the mirror.
I can pick up snakes, rodents, worms, lizards, frogs, toads.. actually I go looking for them.. Just keep ugly mean spiders away...
And centipedes.
Well, name plus pincers D:
quote:
Nicole had this to say about Jimmy Carter:
The only insect that gives me serious jibblies is the earwig, and that is 100% because of the name.Well, name plus pincers D:
You owuld have been able to hide the real reason if it wasn't for that sig pic.
