Friday afternoon, at 1:17pm, my father and I departed to go to my mothers apartment complex(My mom and dad have been seperated for 4 + years). This was after reciving a phone call from my mothers school district, who said she had not come in that day, or given any warning of such, who had been contacted by her apartment complex because she had been acting irrationally.
As my father and I approached from the guest parking in front of my mom's building, I could see the first thing amiss. My mother had hit one of the poles for the covered parking, half ripping her bumper from her Nissan Sentra. The next thing amiss I noticed was her trunk was ajar. She was always a freak about keeping every thing locked, even locking the car if a grocery run required more than one trip from car to apartment. I then noticed our dog running loose around the building, not wearing her collar, with no leash.
It was then that I saw where my mother was. She was standing in the doorway of another apartment talking with another woman. She had previously said to me on numerous occasions that she did not like the occupants of said apartment, another extreamly odd thing. I then took in the appearance of my mother. She was wearing one pink platform flip flop, and one normal black rubber sandal. Grey sweatpants, and a shirt which I cannot recall at the moment with a jacket or windbreaker tied around her waist. In her hands she was carring an assortment of items, including a white plastic bag (Safeway styleish) her keys, and a few other things I didn't take too much note.
I then tuned into the conversation she was having. It was mostly one sided, my mother being the speaker. "Oh hey look, there's my son too! (I guess she had seen my father approach before I) He's a really great driver too! You know, if you ever have any problems with driving or computers or anything, just go over to the window and tap *motion tapping on a window* and he'll be right there!!!" That's what I remember most of what I listened to. She went on about some other things, was going to part ways stating "Well it was nice catching up with you", but then rambling on about the police officer who had been there earlier that morning (I assume, I had heard no mention prior or since of police). It was at that point I looked my father in the eyes with one of my obviously most shocked and horrified looks and waved. I took my leave.
I was called by my boss, I had fucked up on the scheduling, I was suppost to be there at 1, not 3pm. I quickly shower and dress and get there by 2. I call my dad after my boss goes on lunch, and state I don't want to go over to my mothers that evening, and I would be returning home. He called later in my shift, and said that would be ok, and he understood my reasons for it.
He had stayed longer, and apperently drove my mother to look at the house she had put a bid in on. She has apperently applied for a morgage to buy the house. We think this is what sent her over the edge. He said she acted normally during the house check out thing, just like her normal self, member of the Arizona BAR association, licenced school teacher for the Alhambra School District, ect ect. However before that she was talking about how she was being watched with video cameras. How someone was watching everything she was doing.
Tonight, as I was watching White-Tater(Texas hick from Blue Collar Comedy Tour who went on about getting drunk in New York), I noticed some headlights peer in my room from out in the street. This is a very unsusal occurance, as my window does not face the road outside in a way that would usually allow a passing headlight that much time to linger in my room. I peer outside to see my mothers Sentra slowly creeping, pulling a U-turn and pulling up to the curb. I quickly don a pair of pants and head out to the living room, where I again peer through the blinds. My mothers Sentra is slowly advancing in front of the house, I think she was looking for my truck, which would have been half hidden from view behind my fathers truck. I go nock on my fathers door and tell him whats up.
When he comes out, my mothers Sentra is departing the front of our house, heading back to her appartment complex. We're both somewhat concerned, because she never called me like she said she would. That was VERY unusual of her, because she is always complaining about how little she gets to see me. Her not attempting to get in touch with me kind of set off a little red flag. We say we'll wait til morning and try to get in touch with her.
A few minutes later my father comes back and knocks on my door, and asks me to come and make sure her car is there. I quickly put on some more warm clothing, and we set off. The 1/8th mile trip doesn't take too long, and we pull into her covered parking area. Her bumper is still half hanging on, and I noticed her door was left somewhat ajar. I get out of my dad's truck, and go check it out. The inside of her car is a mess, one of her glasses cases is sitting empty on the console, two empty disposable coffee containers reside in the cup holders, and some assorted garbage on the passenger side floor. I lock the car, and close the door, and take note of a Jack in the Box raindeer antenna ball on her antenna. Something she would never normally desire, or even think about.
The whole situation doesn't sit well with my dad. He goes and parks in the front of the building in the guest parking area. We approach my mothers apartment together. The blinds are somewhat ajar in her bedroom, and a light is obviously on, we couldn't tell anything further from that. We move closer to the door of the apartment, and notice debris on the ground. Something that looks like a jacket or pillow with case over a plastic bag with assorted garbage(a disposeble razor is sitting outside of it) on the left near the walkway. A 2002 Harkins souviner cup upside down on the right. A broom propped up agains the wall of the building, more bags of garbage. The blinds for hte living room were half opened, but it was dark inside, and the blinds for the kitchen were also half opened, and looked messed up (sitting half higher on one side). We attempt to call, no phone ring is heard from the inside. My father leaves a message on the home phone. We try her cellphone, and the same thing.
At this point we determine she is still inside, and possibly asleep. We depart the residence, and my father will try to make contact with her in the morning. I know she will get evicted if she keeps up this kind of behaviour. Disturbing other residents, and leaving garbage around is a big no no, and is breaking the lease.
I'm worried about her, I really am. I don't know what to do. She doesn't want to seek help, because she doesn't think there is anything wrong with her. She doesn't want to admit it. My dad and I are both at a loss of what to do. She'll get evicted, fired, and lose the house she put a bid on if she keeps this up, and will have no where to really go. I don't know what to do, but I don't want to see her like this. It's ok for me to see what she's done, but to see her actually doing them puts such a horrible feeling into the pit of my stomach, you have no idea.
I don't know what to do Forgive the numerous gamerical and spelling errors... I probably won't be going to sleep for some time yet...
I just don't know what to do. I don't have any time really to even spend thinking about what is going on with my mom, or what might end up happening to her. I have 36 hours at work next week, some more finals stuff for all of my classes, which will end on thursday. There's no possible way I could get out of any of my shifts really, not that I really need to, because I'm the unofficial acting assistant manager of the poker kiosk at my mall. Our offically unofficial assistant manager left to be an official assistant manager at another location of an acutal store, screwing us over. Not only because he has tons of experiance, but because he sells shit good.
Today, not technically tomorrow anymore, I have to work on a powerpoint for english as part of a cumulative final grade, which will end up being something like 20% of my final grade in the class. I need to do really well on it, because my teachers have been tearing into everything that I've turned in, dropping my grade to a 78% at the moment. My dad is always demanding excellence from me, though I know he'd make an exception given the circumstances, as we're both rather shaken about the whole ordeal. Not to mention hanging out with my ex-fiance one last time before she ships off to boot camp.
She and I broke up a few weeks ago now. It was kind of messy, but we seem to have sorted it out. I'm friends with her, but kind of reluctantly so. I don't think I'm really ready to be that close to her after all the shit that went down. She's already engaged to a co-worker of mine, so yeah. A little bitterness, though I'm handling it well, and honestly don't hate the guy, and am happy she has someone that keeps her happy...
Oh, and I need to finish a 93 question review packet for my government class. If I don't have it completed, I don't get to take the final. Joy joy joy. I have to have it done by Tuesday. And that means I have to do it today (sunday), because I'm closing my kiosk on monday, so I will be there until 9:30pm.
*sigh* I don't know what to do. Just keep on doing what I'm doing I guess.
With the damage you described to her car, and leaving it hanging open and all, I'm fairly sure you could call the police and have her brought in for a psychiatric evaluation.
I really hope this can all be addressed soon, and have her back to the mom you know. Mental breaks are not something to be glossed over.
" Perimenopause is the period of gradual changes that lead into menopause. It affects a woman's hormones, body, and feelings. It can be a stop-start process that may take months or years. "Climacteric" is another word for the time when a woman passes from the reproductive to the non-reproductive years of her life.
The ovaries' production of estrogen slows down during perimenopause. Hormone levels fluctuate, causing changes just as they did during adolescence. The changes leading to menopause may seem much more intense than those during puberty. The intensity may be affected by a woman's feelings about aging, including her reactions to social judgments about aging.
A woman may have one, some, or none of these symptoms. Symptoms can be very unpredictable and disturbing if a woman doesn't know they are related to menopause.
A woman's experiences during menopause may also be influenced by other life changes:
children leaving home
changes in domestic, social, and personal relationships
changes in identity and body image
divorce or widowhood
retirement
increased anxiety about illness, aging, and death
loss of friends, loved ones, and financial security
increased responsibility for aging parents
anxiety about loss of independence, disability, or loneliness
Increasing numbers of perimenopausal women also have young children to care for." [ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/WOMENSHEALTH/menopause.htm ]
There is more on the site. I tried to find an explanation with science. If that isn't the case then your mom sounds like she is reaching a divergence of some sort. The best thing is to seek out professional assistance. Maybe all go to a family counselor so she doesnt feel as singled out? Talk about all the new things happening in your lives... ?
I wish I could say more to help. I hope everything works out for the best. Take it easy!
She has a doctor appointment with her regular physician tomorrow afternoon... I guess it's a step in the right direction. She refuses to admit that she really has a problem though. Without her wanting to get help there isn't much my dad and I could do. And not to mention her school is still in session for another week or so before their winter break.
Ask how her doc appointment went and take the necessary steps from there.
Good luck.
She's gone missing. No one has seen her since yesterday afternoon. Her car was not at the apartment complext last night, and she did not call in to her school. Her school apperently did not know that she was not going to be coming in today. She hasn't told anyone we know about her plans to do this.
She is suppost to have a doc appointment today in a little over 30 minutes. My dad is going to go to the office and see if she shows up. If he doesn't hear anything from her before tonight, he's going to file a missing persons. It's been more than 24 hours so they will at least file it and start looking into it. Beyond that though, there really isn't much we can do.
We've tried talking to her realtor, who helped her put a bid on the house, which we think sent her into this. She never told me anything about the house she has put a bid in on. She didn't even tell me that she did.
We've also tried getting in touch with Jim Settle, her pastor and good friend, and Nacy Peacock, a good friend from years past who she's been close with for support since. Nothing from either source.
The key ring that she gave me on thursday had a key to her appartment. My father and I went in, to see if we could figure out anything more. It was pretty well trashed, it could have been much worse, but was terrible considering how she usually kept it. There were verious containers upside down in the kitchen and fridge. There was a brush holding a roll of toilet paper. All sorts of things strewn around the place. We also saw her glasses, which had been broken. Meaning at most she has a bad perscription, or her sunglasses to see with. Not good, not good at all.
We took her dog back to the house. We couldn't find her collar or her leash, so we'll probably have to go out and buy some new ones, and return later for the dog food if we can find that.
Fucking a this sucks Possible thought is she's on her way back to Iowa to be with her family. We've also called all the hospitals in the valley, none have her checked in as a patient.
If she does not seek it herself, you may be able to get it done involuntarily, especially if it looks like she may be a harm to herself. Yes, I know this is tramatic, but it might be the only thing you can do.
Also, see if you can't find a mental services support line or the like in your area, and see if they have a social worker that might be able to give you suggestions on how to proceed from here.
I hope things work out for you and for her.
Confront your mom and get her professional help, without her consent if nesscessary. Maradon! fucked around with this message on 12-13-2004 at 03:59 PM.
quote:
The logic train ran off the tracks when Maradon! said:
You keep saying you don't know what to do, but you know exactly what you have to do, you just don't want to do it.Confront your mom and get her professional help, without her consent if nesscessary.
He has to find her first.
Sad to hear this Beta. Good luck on finding your mother, and I hope she regains her sanity.
My mother never showed up for her doc appointment. My dad went to file a police report, they said, "Why don't you wait another day and see if she shows up". So he agreed with them, and went to see if she might be over at the appartment. Her car was there.
So my father went up and knocked on the door. She was there. He said she seemed back to her normal self. She claimed she had no idea of what she did over the weekend, and thought she had called in for work, ect. She ended up having gone to Flagstaff, which is a miracle in and of itself that she managed to make it there and back without killing herself or someone else the way she was driving yesterday.
I got home from work to hear this news. My dad handed me a phone and asked me to take it to her. So I borrow my dad's truck (didn't feel like driving my stick shifter for the short trip) and head over. Her car is gone. FUCK ALL!!! I park in the guest parking, and see the outside of her apartment has been cleaned up. I go inside and see that things have been somewhat reorganised, and slightly cleaned. The heat was on, it felt nice and toasty in there, which it usually isn't because she shudders at the electric bill. Next to the thermostat is a note, and I hear a radio playing quietly in the background:
quote:
21:14
12 - 13- 04
Gone to wallgreens to get refill on perscriptions. Will also get water, there is no water left here. Plan to be back no later than 11
I plug the phone in and pick up the reciever. It's mostly static. The phone lines into my mom's apartment have always sucked alot. I try wiggling with the cords and can sometimes hear the dialtone. I give up because I'm fucking pissed off at that point, and close the door and lock it. I call my dad and let him know what happend.
I get back into the truck and Rage Against The Machine comes on the radio. I crank it up and start towards home past the nearest walgreens. Her car wasn't in the parkinglot. I get home and let the song finish on the radio then get back in.
I know my dad feels like crap for having sent me to see my mom in what he thought would be normal condition, only to find she had gone. I was pissed the hell off, and he knew it. I was mad just from having to run a fucking errand after I had put in 12 hours worth of work and school and wanted to unwind so I could go to sleep. Not to mention my mother who was suppost to be acting normally and cleaning up her apartment tonight wasn't fucking there and left a note to pretty much no one.
At this point, I'm pretty well set as to what I want to do about the whole situation. I don't want to see her again unless it's to tell her to her face that I don't want to see her unless she starts to get some fucking help. She claims this whole weekend was a 'reaction to antibiotics' her doc put her on for a sinus infection or some such. I will coldface her and turn around and not look back if she tries to tell me that to my face. I would rather turn my back on my mother unless she gets help than see her the way she acted this weekend. The way I see it, it's about the only way to make her realise she needs some help. Otherwise she'll just end up putting it off, more and more and more.
I talked with a counselor at school, who has a psych practice. She thinks she's manic and bipolar. She thinks we need to do what we can to get her help and gave us some numbers.
My mom's school called me on my cellphone, they didn't know where she was. She apperently didn't call in again, marking the 3rd day that we know of where she didn't go to school. This is highly unusual for teachers, becausee they always want to go and teach.
My dad is going to call Terros, which is a kind of organization that specialises in dealing with people when they melt down like this. I'll have more news I'm sure by the end of the day.