Your challenge is to make a short story (your idea of short is up to you) based on the following phrase: "How <insert EverCrester here> Saved/Ruined Christmas".
After everyone's submitted, we'll tally up the votes, and then I'll overrule them. And whoever does the best one will get free subscriptions after I try to bribe Drysart!
Okay, go!
Down in a little town called EverCrest, there was a great little group of people who were celebrating Christmas. Early into the month of December, everything looked on the up and up, everyone was happy and in a celebratory mood! Yet there was one such person who was not so celebratory. Long was he scorned and exiled for his creative writing abilities and his abrasive attitude! Deep in his cave under the quiet town of EverCrest, he vowed to himself that this year, everyone shall suffer for their liberal-loving actions!
Quietly in their town square, the Crestians were decorating the town Christmas tree. The Mayor, Mayor Lenny, addressed the town from his normal place on a stage in front of the tree. "Dear citizens of my precious town of EverCrest, hear my words! This joyous year, we all have reasons to be happy. Gadani, you lost your family in a tragic accident and were adopted by a family of overly-innocent, easily exploitable, nice rich people. Kegwen, you recieved your long-awaited closet-harem of willing young gentlemen. Alidane, you got to be grouchy, but most of all, that overly-abrasive Parcelinch has been exiled from our happy, happy town! Now let us all be happy and celebrate the coming of our glorious Christmas holiday!" Little did they know, the Parcelinch was hiding in a vent under the stage, and hearing this speech made him writhe with anger! He shall ruin their happy little holiday and make them all suffer painful, violent deaths!
Parcelinch went back to his den underneath the town with little Gusinch, and plotted and schemed. He knew what he would do, he would pose as Santa and storm the town to rape, pillage, and slaughter! "Yes, that shall do quite nicely," he thought to himself, stroking his precious Gusinch. "With no warning but a chicken wing-fueled gas, their last happy minutes of life shall be turned to gaggingly foul excruciating pain!" So he plotted and prepared, schemed and shuffled, and readied himself for his night of glory in the weeks to come. Little did the Parcelinch know, a Canadian spy known as Liam was hiding in the caves, sent to watch over the proceedings of the EverCrest's Christmas.
Openly, Canada seemed to the world to be a nigh-worthless piggy-back on America, "America Junior," as it were. Actually, Canada is a super-secret organization created to watch over Christmas and everything winter related to ensure they go smoothly. Swiftly Liam travelled to his leaders to let them know of this coming injustice! Swiftly he ran over terrain and through bus lines to catch the next plane to Toronto, the secret leader's headquarters! He returned to his headquarters and begged to see the Leader! "It is increadibly urgent!" cried Liam! "I'm sorry, you know the rules, there is a three-day wait," said the Leader's guard, Beaukat. "I need to do something," he thought, "I know!" and he was off!
He dipped and dodged through the general populace of unsuspecting Canada and stopped at one house in particular. "The Black Waltz is required for the day to be saved," spoke Liam. Next to the door, a wall dropped, showing stairs leading down to a basement. "Who speaks the password to awaken the pixie?!" cried a booming voice! "I require the serivices of the glorious Nicole!" "State your reason!" "I need to see the Leader with an urgent matter and I can-" "ENOUGH! Nicole will see you." Liam walked through to the next room and plead his case to Nicole. "We must be off immediately, Liam!"
Nicole and Liam returned to the headquarters and stormed past a confused Beaukat to the Leader's room and approached a chair facing the window, back to the door. "Leader, this whelp-" "WHELP!? I'm a high ranking scout, thank you!" "Whatever, this scout has brought to our attention a most unsavory plan to ruin Christmas for the town of EverCrest!" "Is that so.." came a light voice from behind the chair. "We cannot let this happen. Who is it that threatens the Christmas of EverCrest and how?" Liam repeated his gruesome tale to the Leader and she seemed very perplexed. "The Parcelinch is indeed a powerful foe, we must all go and stop him. Beaukat! Ready the jet!" the Leader said, turning in her chair and revealing herself as none other than... Ares!
Two weeks later, the Canadians left on the morning of December 24th to deal with the Parcelinch's plot! Landing outside the town of EverCrest, the Canadians went on patrol. Deep in the underbelly of EverCrest, Parcelinch gathered the last of his supplies and readied himself for his journey into the town. This would be the most gruesome display of blood, gore, and power that the world will have ever known! Above, in the town of EverCrest, the citizens happily went about their business and consumption, not suspecting the painful death that awaited them.
That night, Parcelinch crept forth from his deep caves and let loose a might blast of fumes so that they would smell death coming for them! Little did he know that this would be a big mistake. The Canadians caught his scent, and started tracking him immediately. Parcelinch came across his first house, the house of the upstanding citizen, Geeorn. Parcelinch slipped down the chimeny and confronted the house's inhabitant. "Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to be here 'til lat-HURK" Geeorn was suddenly cut off by an axe being introduced to his chest, from the bottom of his spine to his chin! "FOR THE HO--... PARCELINCH!" He gathered the presents and left the body for a glorious feast for Guslinch, as he further explored the house for jewelry or more riches.
Outside, the Canadians heard the actions and mourned the loss of an innocent citizen. They went over their plans to stop the vicious beast once again. "We wait until he comes outside, then we pump him full of lead." They waited in hiding as the Parcelinch emerged from the house. The Canadians emerged from their hiding and unloaded a volley of bullets! Thankfully for the Parcelinch, none of them had weapons training and therefore he walked away unscathed. However, he was not happy about this display of violence and aggression, and decided that something needed to be done.
He approached the canadians with his bloody axe and took out the first one in range, poor little ol' Liam. Ares turned tail and fled screaming "I'M JUST AN ARTIST! I WILL GIVE YOU FREE PRINTS!" as Parcelinch dispatched of her guard. Nicole stopped and looked at the two dead corpses and the fleeing Leader and looked at Parcelinch. She then decided what she must do. "You slaughter three more houses, I bring this up with the town council, have them pay me millions to stop you, then we split it and go our seperate ways. Deal?" Now Parcelinch did enjoy violence, and he did enjoy painfully dismantling Canadians, he was by no means stupid when he realised that he would make more out of this deal than if he had just pillaged the town, for the EverCrestians used all of their money on the internet! "I slaughter 4 more, and you give me 2/3 and it's a deal."
So the majority of the town of EverCrest was saved by the Canadian, Nicole, though broke. Parcelinch and Guslinch proceeded to move to a nearby town, deciding that being a Christmas murderer was much to his liking. However, now that he was rich, he did so in style, with a sweet truck pimped by West Coast Customs, complete with a vodka cooler and tequila rack. Nicole, the savior of EverCrest's Christmas, moved down to California to live a sinful life of pleasure and fun. And the next Christmas, blood flew, alcohol drained, and the EverCrestians lived happily ever after.
At the end of this, we'll take a vote on who's Christmas story is the best and whoever wins shall recieve one month's subscription paid by me.
I'll have one in by the 22nd.
